Post by conansf on Sept 11, 2011 20:23:15 GMT -8
I always wondered why Artemus so pointedly informed James that Arden Masterson was Richmond's Assistant in the Night of the Avaricious Actuary. Our boys work hard and they play hard.
“You two. In here.”
Artemus Gordon let his partner, James West, precede him through the door of Colonel Richmond’s office.
Richmond indicated they be seated, then spent the next few minutes pacing in front of his desk.
Jim exchanged a glance with Artie.
“Sir? Why did you want to see us?”
“You….” Richmond stopped then started again. His tone made both agents realise that their boss was quietly furious.
“Do either of you gentlemen, and I use the term loosely in this case, remember my assistant, Daphne?” He continued without waiting for an answer “She has just resigned to go home and marry her buck-toothed cousin.”
“Oh, good for her.” murmured Artie.
Richmond skewered him with a look.
“Prior to her brief employment with the Service, I had another assistant, Brianna. She abruptly left and married her buck-toothed neighbour. Marion, actually lasted a year before she let a buck-toothed sawn-off, old family friend “sweep-her-off-her-feet”. They are only the last three assistants I care to name. Does any of this mean anything to you? Any stirring of thoughts? Ideas?”
“They all prefer men with….?” James caught Richmond’s fulminating eye and subsided.
“From this day onward; if any female is employed as an assistant, secretary, typist, administrator, researcher, analyst, accountant, clerk, cryptologist, cook or cartographer; in fact, any female to walk through those doors,” Richmond glared at Artemus who had opened his mouth to speak, “or any other office of the Secret Service, is to be considered, OUT. OF. BOUNDS. Do I make myself clear?”
“Perfectly.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Dismissed.”
At the door James turned with a question “Sir, if they are traveling incognito for any reason…”
Artemus took one look at Richmond's empurpling face and taking Jim’s arm, quickly hustled him out of the room.
Once out of the building, Washington’s best agents headed by unspoken agreement back towards their train.
“This could be a problem, sorting out who’s who. Asking a girl her profession is not my best opening line.”
“Could be taken the wrong way too, Jim. Hmm, the lovely ladies we have met in course of our work are going to be a bit disappointed. We’ll have to make a list so as we don’t slip up. ”
James looked askance “How far back do you think l, we, need to go?”
Artie sighed “James, my boy, why leave me to remember their names? You seem to think that if you get in the rough alphabetical range they won’t mind. The fact that you are right is no excuse,” he added irritably. "Now, excuse me a minute, I have to buy a gallon of whiskey.”
“For your lab?”
“Not at all, James. Whiskey is a wonderful cure for writer’s cramp!”
“You two. In here.”
Artemus Gordon let his partner, James West, precede him through the door of Colonel Richmond’s office.
Richmond indicated they be seated, then spent the next few minutes pacing in front of his desk.
Jim exchanged a glance with Artie.
“Sir? Why did you want to see us?”
“You….” Richmond stopped then started again. His tone made both agents realise that their boss was quietly furious.
“Do either of you gentlemen, and I use the term loosely in this case, remember my assistant, Daphne?” He continued without waiting for an answer “She has just resigned to go home and marry her buck-toothed cousin.”
“Oh, good for her.” murmured Artie.
Richmond skewered him with a look.
“Prior to her brief employment with the Service, I had another assistant, Brianna. She abruptly left and married her buck-toothed neighbour. Marion, actually lasted a year before she let a buck-toothed sawn-off, old family friend “sweep-her-off-her-feet”. They are only the last three assistants I care to name. Does any of this mean anything to you? Any stirring of thoughts? Ideas?”
“They all prefer men with….?” James caught Richmond’s fulminating eye and subsided.
“From this day onward; if any female is employed as an assistant, secretary, typist, administrator, researcher, analyst, accountant, clerk, cryptologist, cook or cartographer; in fact, any female to walk through those doors,” Richmond glared at Artemus who had opened his mouth to speak, “or any other office of the Secret Service, is to be considered, OUT. OF. BOUNDS. Do I make myself clear?”
“Perfectly.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Dismissed.”
At the door James turned with a question “Sir, if they are traveling incognito for any reason…”
Artemus took one look at Richmond's empurpling face and taking Jim’s arm, quickly hustled him out of the room.
Once out of the building, Washington’s best agents headed by unspoken agreement back towards their train.
“This could be a problem, sorting out who’s who. Asking a girl her profession is not my best opening line.”
“Could be taken the wrong way too, Jim. Hmm, the lovely ladies we have met in course of our work are going to be a bit disappointed. We’ll have to make a list so as we don’t slip up. ”
James looked askance “How far back do you think l, we, need to go?”
Artie sighed “James, my boy, why leave me to remember their names? You seem to think that if you get in the rough alphabetical range they won’t mind. The fact that you are right is no excuse,” he added irritably. "Now, excuse me a minute, I have to buy a gallon of whiskey.”
“For your lab?”
“Not at all, James. Whiskey is a wonderful cure for writer’s cramp!”