Post by zimmerman on Jun 11, 2013 13:29:39 GMT -8
Back in the days before internet and cable, the broadcast stations used to air movies in the afternoons and evenings, into the late night. Because people needed to be informed about what movies would be worth spending your time watching, the Chicago Tribune would provide plot synopses in the movie descrtiptions. Whoever wrote these blurbs had an interesting sense of humor, because some of these descriptions are hilarious!!
These are just a few of the listings from 1973 & '74. I will add more as time allows.
.
"Barbary Coast" Joel McCrea, Edward G. Robinson, Miram Hopkins, Walter Brennan. Vigorous tale of the tough Barbary Coast, with Robinson the man who runs the shot; it tends to be hokey, but it's fun to watch the actors make the most of it."
"The Angry Age" Anthony Perkins, Jo Van Fleet...An attempt to make an American film with a foreign flavor by using an international cast and setting the action in Indo-China is embarrisngly bad, because there is really too no interest in a plot of a brother and sister who want to leave their mother's rice plantation for bigger and better things--who can blame them?"
"Night Slaves--James Franciscus, Lee Grant, Leslie Nielsen. Muddled Sci-fi yarn which generates some suspense in the beginning, then deteriorates into a somewhat silly plot involving inhabitants from outer space and their takeover of a small town. Labored."
"The Dolly Sisters--Betty Grable, June Haver, John Payne. Some nice legs and a nice score are the only assets of this fictionalized story of the famous sister act. A gammy gambol."
"The Adventures of Hajji Baba--John Derek, Elaine Stewart. How a barber longing for adventure finds it when he rescues the daughter of the caliph. A dull blade."
"Daisy Kenyon--Joan Crawford, Dana Andrews, Henry Fonda. La Crawford faces the usual amount of woes in her love affair with a married man. Joan moans."
"Fuzzy Pink Nightgown--Jame Russell, Keenan Wynn, Ralph Meeker, Jane Russell, as a movie star with blonde hair, is kidnapped by two clumsy but nice guys, and the fun begins. You'll see through it."
"Home Sweet Homicide--Peggy Ann Garner, Randolph Scott, Lynn Bari, Dean Stockwell. If you can believe this story about some children of a mystery authoress solving a murder and finding a suitor for their mother, you're reading too many cheap detective stories."
"A Cry in the Night--Edmond O'Brian, Natalie Wood, Brian Donlevy, Raymond Burr. A mentally unbalanced man kidnaps the daughter of a policeman, and the rest is only fair melodrama which misses on the suspense. Eeeeek!"
"Dear Brigitte--James Stewart, Glynis Johns. Homey family comedy that doesn't come off. Papa Stewart has to cope with his young sons problem--it seems the boy has a crush on Brigitte Bardot so dad takes him to France to meet the celebrated sex symbol. Dear me!"
and, on a related note....
"The Night Heaven Fell--Brigitte Bardot, Stephen Boyd. One of those horrible films that pushed sexpot Bardot to fame because of the vast amount of (skin) revealed. She's nice to look at, but the English-dubbed drama of a countess and her neice competing for the same man is a strain."
These are just a few of the listings from 1973 & '74. I will add more as time allows.
. "Barbary Coast" Joel McCrea, Edward G. Robinson, Miram Hopkins, Walter Brennan. Vigorous tale of the tough Barbary Coast, with Robinson the man who runs the shot; it tends to be hokey, but it's fun to watch the actors make the most of it."
"The Angry Age" Anthony Perkins, Jo Van Fleet...An attempt to make an American film with a foreign flavor by using an international cast and setting the action in Indo-China is embarrisngly bad, because there is really too no interest in a plot of a brother and sister who want to leave their mother's rice plantation for bigger and better things--who can blame them?"
"Night Slaves--James Franciscus, Lee Grant, Leslie Nielsen. Muddled Sci-fi yarn which generates some suspense in the beginning, then deteriorates into a somewhat silly plot involving inhabitants from outer space and their takeover of a small town. Labored."
"The Dolly Sisters--Betty Grable, June Haver, John Payne. Some nice legs and a nice score are the only assets of this fictionalized story of the famous sister act. A gammy gambol."
"The Adventures of Hajji Baba--John Derek, Elaine Stewart. How a barber longing for adventure finds it when he rescues the daughter of the caliph. A dull blade."
"Daisy Kenyon--Joan Crawford, Dana Andrews, Henry Fonda. La Crawford faces the usual amount of woes in her love affair with a married man. Joan moans."
"Fuzzy Pink Nightgown--Jame Russell, Keenan Wynn, Ralph Meeker, Jane Russell, as a movie star with blonde hair, is kidnapped by two clumsy but nice guys, and the fun begins. You'll see through it."
"Home Sweet Homicide--Peggy Ann Garner, Randolph Scott, Lynn Bari, Dean Stockwell. If you can believe this story about some children of a mystery authoress solving a murder and finding a suitor for their mother, you're reading too many cheap detective stories."
"A Cry in the Night--Edmond O'Brian, Natalie Wood, Brian Donlevy, Raymond Burr. A mentally unbalanced man kidnaps the daughter of a policeman, and the rest is only fair melodrama which misses on the suspense. Eeeeek!"
"Dear Brigitte--James Stewart, Glynis Johns. Homey family comedy that doesn't come off. Papa Stewart has to cope with his young sons problem--it seems the boy has a crush on Brigitte Bardot so dad takes him to France to meet the celebrated sex symbol. Dear me!"
and, on a related note....
"The Night Heaven Fell--Brigitte Bardot, Stephen Boyd. One of those horrible films that pushed sexpot Bardot to fame because of the vast amount of (skin) revealed. She's nice to look at, but the English-dubbed drama of a countess and her neice competing for the same man is a strain."