Post by California gal on Mar 21, 2009 18:21:32 GMT -8
Production #0421
THE WILD WILD WEST
TEASER]
FADE IN:
1. EXT WINDOW – NIGHT
SHOOTING past the leafless branches of a nearby tree, its swaying movements in the high wind giving it a disturbingly alive, almost malignant quality…
… toward the one lighted window of the otherwise darkened house… where, through the curtained opening, we see the SILHOUETTED FIGURE OF A MAN pacing (his name is DR. WILLIS HANAFORD, we will come to find); then CAMERA STARTS MOVING DOWN…
2. EXT. HANAFORD HOUSE – NIGHT
to show the old, ivy-covered walls…
3. ANORTHER ANGLE – AT GAZEBO
… finally coming to light on the equally weather-beaten old gazebo on the grounds, where, dimply perceived in the gloom, we make out the figure of a MAN (his name is COLLINS, we will learn) --
-- motionless, eyes intently fastened on the lighted window.
4. ANOTHER ANGLE OF GAZEBO
as Collins continues his inspection of the lighted window, ANOTHER DIMLY SEEN FIGURE comes silently INTO VIEW through the back entrance of the gazebo, and silently approaches the other…
… who starts to whirl around, gun in hand, then stops as he HEARS:
WEST
Steady, Collins.
COLLINS put his gun away as JAMES WEST, the dimly seen figure, comes into the illumination from the window, looks up at the pacing figure, then:
4. CONTINUED
WEST (CONT’D)
All serene?
COLLINS
Yes, sir.
(glance at window)
He sure acts nervous, though.
WEST
(somberly)
Dr. Hanaford has something to be nervous about--
(abruptly)
Get yourself some coffee, Collins--I’ll spell you.
Collins nods, turns and fades into the gloom; alone, West continues to stare thoughtfully up at the window--then, again, he swings around--his suddenly alert attitude proclaiming that he has heard something--that we cannot hear…
… and then we finally HEAR it; SOFTLY, then GROWING MORE DISTINCT, the SOUNDS of a WOMAN SOBBING; a beat, then West moves off in the direction of the source--away from the house…
5. EXT. PARK-LIKE UNDERGROWTH – NIGHT
… works his way swiftly through the undergrowth (the WOMAN’S SOBBING MUCH LOUDER, now), finally parts matted shrubbery and peers through, his eyes narrowed at what he sees;
6. HIS POV – THE PLAY AREA
It’s a long-abandoned, overgrown child’s play area--with a ghostly reminder of departed childish voices in the form of a sandbox, scattered toys and a swing suspended from the branch of a towering old tree--
--and in its midst we see a WOMAN, her slender, youthful figure swathed in filmy chiffon garment, her face blurred by a semi-transparent veil, struggling in the grasp of a huge, white-haired individual, his bearded face disfigured by a snarling expression (his name is BLANCO); to the woman’s SOBBING interspersed with REITERATED “Oh, please, please, please…”
6. CONTINUED
… the albino giant plays an obbligato of a WORDLESS, ANIMAL-LIKE, GROWLING SOUNDS as he drags the young woman along, until…
7. ANOTHER ANGLE
… West comes charging out of the underbrush into the clearing…
… simultaneously with Blanco effortlessly flinging the woman over his shoulder and taking a plunging, crashing course into the underbrush; West races after the others, then comes to a crouching stop--
--as THREE GUNSELS emerge from several points, blocking West’s pursuit; West has time only for a small, wry smile before the trio closes in on him, punching and kicking…
… while West ducks, lunges and counter-attacks, utilizing his fists and all the paraphernalia that comes to hand--sand pails, rubber balls and the shrewdly directed arc of the swing to send all three sprawling; with considerable lost time to make up, West continues his race after the hunchback and his captive…
8. ANOTHER CLEARING
… until he bursts through the underbrush, reacting at the sight of the motionless figure of the chiffon-clad woman, now seen sprawled on the ground--
--with something new added in the form of a knife--buried in her back;
9. CLOSER ANGLE
West comes INTO VIEW, sinks to a knee before the inert figure, gently turns her over, lifts her veil--
--and reacts to the sight of a rag-doll face that meets his eyes; a beat, and West rises, drops the full-size doll and races back toward the Hanaford house…
10. INT. HANAFORD’S LABORATORY – NIGHT
… the very moment that Hanaford, intently scrawling calculations on a pad, reacts, his face highlighted by a flash of light; he recoils as CAMERA PULLS BACK …
11. ANOTHER ANGLE
… to show a glowing cloud of saffron smoke boiling up in a corner of the room; on this, and Hanaford’s face now lined with terror,
FADE OUT:
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
12. INT. HANAFORD’S LABORATORY – NIGHT
CONTINUING ACTION--Hanaford’s eyes are fastened on the cloud of saffron smoke like that of a bird’s on an advancing serpent--
--and as we watch, the cloud swiftly clears, disclosing an IMPRESSIVE FIGURE OF A MAN wearing a highly theatrical get-up consisting of evening dress, top hat, set off by a crimson-lined opera cloak…
… and, final touch, toying with a gold-headed staff embellished with fanciful, carved snakes that almost seem to be writhing from time to time (the newcomer’s name is DINARCHUS, it will be made clear--and he will never be seen without this snake-twined staff).
Now, with his saffron cloud cover entirely dissipated, Dinarchus moves toward the white-faced Hanaford.
DINARCHUS
It’s Dinarchus, again, Doctor; forgive the intrusion, but with that small army of steely-eyed Centurions guarding your doors---
(an elaborate shrug)
--this is the only way I can visit you.
13. CLOSE SHOT – HANAFORD
darting a barely perceptive glance off to one side…
14. ANOTHER ANGLE – ON ALARM BUTTON
… with CAMERA ZOOMING IN on to follow his glance, and disclosing what is obviously an alarm button set into his side of the table that separates the two men…
15. BACK TO SCENE
without looking at it again, Dr. Hanaford keeps inching toward the alarm button during the following:
HANAFORD
This is the third time you have “visited” me…
DINARCHUS
To be precise, the fourth.
HANAFORD
In heaven’s name, what do you want?
DINARCHUS
Merely to add my portion to the admiration a grateful world has showered upon the eminent Dr. Hanaford!
HANAFORD
(warily – bowing)
The eminent Dr. Hanaford is flattered; but there’s more, isn’t there?
DINARCHUS
More?
As he speaks he passes a canary cage suspended from a wall hook--
--makes a plucking motion through the air, and suddenly…
16. CLOSE SHOT – HIS HAND
… there’s a brilliantly colored snake writhing between his fingertips--and now, also, we can see that the glittering ring on his little finger is a strangely luminous glass eye--
17. BACK TO SCENE
Now, holding the writhing snake, Dinarchus extends it toward the canary in its cage--causing the bird to flutter its wings in terror; Dinarchus smiles happily at the bird’s reaction, then makes a flicking motion causing the snake to disappear...
... after which he turns, seats himself on a corner of the desk and continues:
DINARCHUS
Yes, my dear doctor, there’s more:
(leaning forward)
I want the holy grail--my own, personal holy grail if you please.
HANAFORD
I don’t understand...
DINARCHUS
Listen, Doctor, like you, I, too, am engaged in a ceaseless quest for the truth--a quest that seemed to be hopelessly blocked until I read the paper you presented before the Cavendish Society last month.
HANAFORD
But I still don’t...
DINARCHUS
Wait; in a modest way, I, too, am a chemist; your paper described a new organic catalyst you succeeded in isolating -- a brilliant achievement...
HANAFORD
(shakes head wearily)
Ah, we’re back to DX-24, are we?
DINARCHUS
Yes! If I am ever to find my holy grail I need that catalyst.
HANAFORD
And once again I tell you, you can’t have it!
Dinarchus’ ghastly smile widens as his staff drifts closer to Hanaford.
HANAFORD
You will be paid for it, of course--handsomely.
17. CONTINUED
HANAFORD
(earnestly--his finger almost on alarm button)
No, no, as I told you, since I am employed by the government, technically it owns everything I...
With a CRACKLING SNARL, a flash of electricity leaps from the tip of Dinarchus’ staff to Hanaford’s hand, causing Hanaford to recoil from the alarm button with a cry of pain.
18. ANOTHER ANGLE
... and now, every vestige of his smile gone, Dinarchus gets to his feet, looming menacingly over Hanaford.
DINARCHUS
(harshly)
You pitiful fool! I can open hidden portals to purgatories that Dante himself would have faltered from describing--
(his voice low, crackling)
--and I promise you I’ll lovingly introduce you to every one of them if...!
He whirls around at the SOUND of SHATTERING GLASS...
19. ANOTHER ANGLE
... to see West diving through the windows and landing on the floor amid a welter of glass shards--
--then West picks himself up and advances toward Dinarchus, who slowly retreats into the corner where he first appeared:
DINARCHUS
(continuing)
Another steely-eyed Centurion;
(raising his staff)
more later, doctor.
19. CONTINUED
His timing is superb; again a cloud of saffron smoke boils up, totally obscuring him, just as West starts to leap forward; West retreats before the corrosive cloud, coughing and blinking his obviously smarting eyes--
20. ANOTHER ANGLE – AT WINDOW
--flings wide the windows then turns, reacting as he sees...
21. HIS POV
... nothing! The saffron cloud in the corner has disappeared--and so has Dinarchus; West comes INTO VIEW, slamming his hands against the paneled wall--feeling, listening to the SOUNDS that result, then his hands contact an area that emits a HOLLOWED SOUND; West draws back, then slams his shoulder against the wall, crashes through...
22. INT. PANELED SECRET PASSAGEWAY – NIGHT
... and into a narrow corridor, illuminated by light filtering in through a skylight high on the ceiling; West is off and running toward the bend that lies ahead...
23. ANOTHER ANGLE
... then rounds the corner and barrels right toward the CAMERA--
24. ANOTHER ANGLE
--then is past the CAMERA racing along, toward a narrow set of stairs that he hastily descends;
25. ANOTHER ANGLE
West comes racing up to a cul-de-sac, stops, momentarily perplexed--then looks up and sees the trapdoor trap-door [sic]; he flips it up, hauls himself through it...
26. INT. GAZEBO – NIGHT
... and finds himself in the gazebo seen earlier; West looks around at the darkness ringing the gazebo--starts to head back to the house, then stops, as his food encounters something underfoot that CRUNCHES;
26. CONTINUED
... he stoops, comes up with several objects too small to be identifiable; CAMERA MOVES IN to West’s hand holding the objects...
MATCH FLIP TO:
27. SAME CLOSE SHOT OF HAND HOLDING OBJECT
HOLD, then PULL BACK to show that the objects are now in the hand of ARTEMUS, who is examining them through a hand lens, during which we become aware that we are now in:
28. INT. HANAFORD’S LABORATORY – NIGHT
... and that Hanaford is seated at his desk, wearing a tense expression--
--while West paces the room as he talks.
WEST
Doctor, Mr. Gordon and I are in the business of looking for trouble--and examining coincidences very, very carefully...
HANAFORD
(shaking his head)
I know you’re trying to tell me something, but...
ARTEMUS
(as he scans object)
It’s a two-part statement, doctor; on the one hand, there are half a million acres of wheatland up North that are seriously threatened by the worst blight in our history...
WEST
... for which you are narrowing down a search for an effective pesticide.
28. CONTINUED
ARTEMUS
On the other hand, we are faced with the coincidence of an extraordinarily unwholesome gentleman named Dinarchus who suddenly shows up; why?
HANAFORD
Is it that important? This Dinarchus is annoying, certainly, with his sudden appearances, and his bag of flashy tricks, but...
WEST
(gravely)
No, doctor, believe me, Dinarchus is more than a sideshow performer...
29. SHOT - ARTEMUS
as he continues to study the small objects through his glass:
ARTEMUS
... he’s very badly wanted by the police of Europe, North Africa and Asia Minor for a catalog of crimes that start with murder--
(wryly)
--and works its way up.
30. ANOTHER ANGLE – AT WINDOW
West’s pacing brings him to the window, where he stares out thoughtfully--then, as he turns back to the others his attention is attracted to an easel photograph standing on a corner bric-a-brac stand; he picks it up and studies it...
31. INSERT – PHOTO
it shows an ATTRACTIVE YOUNG MAN smiling into the CAMERA.
32. BACK TO SCENE
West turns, holding the photo as he look inquiringly at Dr. Hanaford.
HANAFORD
My son, Vance.
WEST
Is he home?
HANAFORD
No; he’s vacationing at the Cleary Ranch, twenty miles from here.
WEST
Then, except for your cook, you’re alone here.
Hanaford nods; West sets the photo back on the stand, and resumes his pacing, as:
HANAFORD
How did Dinarchus find out about the secret passages in this old house? Even I didn’t know about it!
WEST
That’s a good question--but there’s an even more important question.
HANAFORD
You mean--my DX-24?
WEST
Right! And why this Dinarchus has such an itch for it!
HANAFORD
I don't know! It’s a crystalline enzyme--one of many I’ve isolated and as far as I can see, without any value...
He stops, frowning; West watching him warily, prompts him:
32. CONTINUED
WEST
Anything else you can tell me?
HANAFORD
I meant to tell you about this before--you remember I reported that someone broke into the lab last week and stole--a small bottle...?
He pauses, and West continues:
WEST
Did it contain DX-24, by any chance?
Hanaford nods, and West’s eyes reflect his gathering excitement as he swings around to Artemus, his eye still glued to the small object.
WEST (CONT’D)
Begins to add up, Artie! Dinarchus swipes a sample of Dr. Hanaford’s enzyme...
ARTEMUS
... runs tests on it, finds it to his liking and returns for more; it’s be interesting to find out what use he plans to put it to--and while we’re on the subject of interesting items, have a peek at this.
West takes the minute object from Artemus, glances at it through the hand lens, then passes both on to Hanaford.
WEST
(thoughtfully)
Cone-shaped limestone fragments--like bits of stalactite and stalagmite.
ARTEMUS
Right! And since friend Dinarchus must have quarters somewhere in this bailiwick, that would seem to add up to--a cave.
32. CONTINUED
WEST
A cave! Of course!
(turning to Hanaford)
Doctor: Where are the limestone outcroppings around here?
West trails off; Hanaford, wearing a puzzled expression, shakes his head as he looks up from the lens.
HANAFORD
I’m sorry, gentlemen--these certainly are stalactite particles, but you can forget your cave theory--there are no limestone outcroppings for miles around!
West and Artemus exchange wry glances.
ARTEMUS
Well, so much for that theory; looks like we’ll have to continue to...
He stops, staring off, then points:
ARTEMUS (CONT’D)
Jim! Look at that photo!
West wheels around as CAMERA ANGLES...
33. ANOTHER ANGLE – AT BRIC-A-BRAC STAND
... to show the easel photo of Vance previously seen--only now there’s a wisp of smoke curling up from it; West comes INTO VIEW, gingerly picks the photo up--
--then flings it away from him, the briefest of seconds before it bursts into a fiercely burning ball of orange fire. CAMERA MOVES to establish West’s and Artemus’s grim reaction as they watch the blaze--and Hanaford’s bewildered expression.
WEST
(grimly)
One of Dinarchus’ playful tricks.
ARTEMUS
(nodding_
Neat, too; delayed action combustion, triggered by human contact...
He and West swing around at the CHOKING SOUND that is wrung from Hanaford, as CAMERA ANGLES to show him staring at the photo (its flames extinguished) lying on the floor; Artemus scoops it up...
34. INSERT – PHOTO
... and sees that in some strange way the photo is changed; it’s still Vance, but now he is no longer smiling--and his eyes are closed--as if in death.
35. BACK TO SCENE
And while all three are staring at the photo, the KNOCKING AT THE DOOR is HEARD...
36. ANOTHER ANGLE - AT DOOR
... and the door opens to disclose an AGED CHINESE HOUSEBOY, who bobs his head. (His name is TANG)
TANG
Came to say dinnah ready, please.
He bobs his head again and disappears.
37. ANOTHER ANGLE
as Hanaford gamely tries to play the gracious host.
HANAFORD
Well, gentlemen, shall we?
The three move off to the door.
FLIP TO:
38. INT. COMBINED STUDY AND DINING ROOM – NIGHT
West, Artemus and Hanaford, are seated at a table, one end of which butts up against a wall, on which a small sconce is positioned. Artemus holds up the photo of Vance (its frame charred by flames) as he speaks:
38. CONTINUED
ARTEMUS
Actually, Dinarchus is very ingenious in achieving the effects he wants--the mere touch of a human hand causes the combustion you saw--which burnt away the top photo...
He stops, as the sconce on the wall flares up, like a signal, then subsides, as a RISING HUM is HEARD--
--and, obviously in response, Hanaford presses a button set into the wall; a panel slides up, disclosing a dumbwaiter bearing a tray containing a wine bottle and glasses; Hanaford removes the tray, the panel slides shut and we HEAR the FAINT HUM of the dumbwaiter descending, as:
HANAFORD
When your kitchen is in the basement, and your cook is an ancient Cantonese with bad feet and an uncertain temper, you are well advised to install a dumbwaiter, as I did.
(to Artemus)
Please, go on, Mr. Gordon.
ARTEMUS
As I was saying, the flames burned away the top photo, exposing the second photo that Dinarchus had planted previously--and of course this photo undoubtedly was coated with a flameproof solution, so that...
Again he stops, as the SOUND of the DUMBWAITER’S HUM is HEARD AGAIN--GROWING LOUDER;
--and the wall sconce flares up again; Hanaford frowns, stops pouring wine, presses the button, the panel slides up and we see a large silver platter with a domed cover--
38. CONTINUED
--that Hanaford removes (the panel closes and the dumbwaiter descends) and sets down on the table between himself and his guest.
HANAFORD
(hand on domed cover’s handle)
Let’s see what delicacy Tang has prepared for...
He has taken the cover off as he speaks, and he and the others recoil before the cloud of smoke that boils up out of the platter, through which we see a skull...
... with glowing eyes, and from whose jaws we HEAR Dinarchus voice:
SKULL
Enjoy your meal, gentlemen, and you, doctor, enjoy your son while you may--because tomorrow, at Cock-crow he will sink into the spell I’ve prepared for him!
Even before the skull has stopped “talking” West and Artemus have leaped to their feet.
ARTEMUS
I’ll take the kitchen, Jim!
39. EXT. WINDOW – NIGHT
Pocketing his derringer, West plunges toward the curtained window...
40. EXT. WINDOW – NIGHT
... swings it wide and FIRES straight up, the gun making an oddly MUFFLED RETORT... The writer must have meant that Jim “produced” the derringer, not pocketed it!
41. SHOT – SKY
... and the star-shell missile West has fired blossoms out into a bright-as-day burst of illumination...
42. INT. HANAFORD DINING ROOM – NIGHT
... then West pockets his gun and dashes for the door leading out of the room, slams through...
43. EXT. FRONT DOOR HANAFORD FRONT DOOR – NIGHT
... and out the front door, swinging wide as he heads for the gazebo--the whole scene eerily illuminated by the star-shell he has put into orbit...
44. INT. GAZEBO – NIGHT
TWO GUNSELS whirl around as West slams into the gazebo--and a THIRD GUNSEL scrambles out of the trapdoor opening as West mixes it up with the two on their feet, dodging, weaving, counterpunching...
45. EXT. GAZEBO – NIGHT
... then, crashing through the lattice work sides, one gunsel is catapulted out from one side, while another is catapulted out from another--
--and the third slams out of the door and takes to his heels, followed by West, who turns to the two gunsels who have risen to their feet, mixing it up again with them...
46. SHOT – STAR-SHELL
drifting down from its tiny parachute--and as we watch its bright descent, it flickers and go out, plunging the scene into unrelieved darkness.
47. BACK TO WEST
and now West can no longer see his opponents; we HEAR them SCRAMBLING THROUGH THE BUSHES as they take to their heels--heels;
A beat, then West turns and heads hastily back to the house.
48. INT. HANAFORD CORRIDOR – NIGHT
West is hustling along the corridor when he comes fact to face with Collins, the agent we saw earlier.
48. CONTINUED
COLLINS
No, sir--got every exit covered, too. something missing here?
West nods grimly, starts to turn around, then pauses, staring...
49. CLOSE SHOT – WALL
... at the small, torn portion of dark material, lined with crimson silk that is snagged on a hinge pin; West bends into VIEW, disengages the piece of material...
50. BACK TO SCENE
... and straightens up, looking his find over.
WEST
In spite of which, a certain gentleman in a top hat and opera cloak passed this way.
He turns, runs back the way he came...
51. ANOTHER ANGLE
... and rounds a corner at high speed to come upon Artemus bending over Tang, sprawled on the ground, blinking dazedly, as if just coming to; he massages his throat, then WHISPERS PAINFULLY in CHINESE--to which Artemus nods soberly as he listens, ending finally with:
ARTEMUS
(in CHINESE)
It is well; rest now.
Artemus looks up to see West:
ARTEMUS (CONT’D)
It seems Tang was preparing dinner when a chopped off hand came floating through the air and fastened itself around his throat; he managed to fight his way out here, then…
Artemus makes an “out-like-a-light” gesture.
51. CONTINUED
WEST
(grimly)
Never a dull moment with Dinarchus hanging around, is there?
A CHOKING SOUNDS causes West and Artemus to look around...
52. ANOTHER ANGLE – AT DOOR
... to find Dr. Hanaford rounding the corner, staring at the scene; CAMERA MOVES IN CLOSE
53. CLOSE SHOT – HANAFORD
... as he covers his face with a pair of trembling hands:
MATCH DISSOLVE TO:
53. SAME CLOSE SHOT OF HANAFORD, HANDS COVERING HIS FACE
then PULL BACK to show we now are in...
54. INT. HANAFORD’S COMBINED STUDY AND DINING ROOM – NIGHT
... that we are now in a book-lined, paneled room. West holds a skull in his hand, as:
WEST
It was all done with tricks, don’t you see? Hiding in the corridors, Dinarchus cleverly projected his voice; the rising smoke helped create the illusion that the skull was actually talking...
Suddenly Hanaford uncovers his face and turns fiercely to West:
HANAFORD
You think you can explain away everything, don’t you? Dinarchus’ shabby little tricks shouldn’t frighten me, I know--but they do ... for my son!
WEST
Dr. Hanaford...
55. CONTINUED
HANAFORD
First the photo of Vance--looking dead--then the skull talking--
(repeating, dread in his voice)
“Tomorrow, at cock-crow, your son will sink into a spell I’ve prepared for him!”
West sets the skull down and moves off to the door, collecting his hat as he goes:
WEST
Dr. Hanaford, it’ll be light enough to pick up Dinarchus trail in a little while, so I’m leaving;
(pausing)
and by the way, Mr. Gordon thought it might be a good idea to go to the Cleary ranch and bring Vance back here where we can keep an eye on him.
Hanaford’s eyes are brimming with gratitude as West swings the door open.
HANAFORD
That takes a big load off my mind! When will Mr. Gordon...?
WEST
(eyeing clock)
He left with the train over an hour ago, so he ought to be arriving at the ranch about now.
He exits: CAMERA HOLDS on Hanaford’s tired, but relieved expression--
FLIP TO.
56. EXT. CLEARY RANCH – DAWN
SHOOTING UP--at a western-type front gate arch constructed out of heavy branches, with the name “CLEARY” worked into the design, through which we see the light-streaked, early dawn sky; HOLD, then TILT DOWNWARD...
57. ANOTHER ANGLE
... to show a WRANGLER-TYPE harnessing a horse near the gate--
--and beyond him, a plume of dust marking the fast pace being set by a horse racing toward the gate--which soon becomes visible as the horse bearing Artemus; as Artemus pulls up beside the wrangler:
ARTEMUS
I’m looking for a Mr. Vance Hanaford.
The wrangler swings around, eyes searching, then he stops, pointing off, as CAMERA ANGLES...
58. ANOTHER ANGLE
... to show a YOUNG MAN (he’s VANCE HANAFORD) and an ATTRACTIVE YOUNG LADY (she’s ROSAMUND TATE) on horses, riding out of a corral and approaching, both LAUGHING and talking animatedly; Artemus dismounts and walks out to meet the two riders.
BAIN [? Obviously should be Artie!]
Mr. Hanaford?
(at the other’s nod)
My name’s Gordon--a friend of your father’s, you might say...
VANCE
(a rush of concern)
Is he all right?
ARTEMUS
Couldn’t be righter; but he’d feel a lot better if you’d return home with me.
The momentary concern in the boy’s eyes drains away, replaced by exasperation, as:
VANCE
But I don’t understand--if he’s all right...?
ARTEMUS
It’s a little complicated; look, I have a train waiting at the siding for the return trip--I’ll to into all the details on the way back, I promise you.
VANCE
All right, Mr. Gordon--
(suddenly remembering)
Oh--may I present Miss Rosamund Tate...
Artemus and the young lady murmur “How-do-you-do’s,” then Vance continues, as he takes her arm:
VANCE (CONT’D)
... who has just consented to marry me.
ARTEMUS
Congratulations--to both of you!
Vance and Rosamund AD-LIB “Thank you’s,” then Vance turns to Rosamund:
VANCE
You’re coming back with me, Rosamund...
59. SHOT – AT FENCE
we see a rooster picking his way along, then flapping himself up onto the topmost fence pole, where he starts the traditional stretching, neck-craning and wing flapping that precedes the crowing...
60. BACK TO SCENE
VANCE (CONT’D)
... after all, you’ve got to meet your future father-in-law some time, and this is as good a time as...
This is the point where the CROWING RINGS OUT--and the effect on Vance is immediate; he freezes, his eyes turn up, then before Artemus or Rosamund can raise a hand, he slips from the saddle and falls inertly to the ground.
On the tableau of Artemus staring downward in shocked horror while Rosamund’s SCREAM is FILLING THE AIR, we
FREEZE SCREAM AND FRAME:
END OF ACT ONE
THE WILD WILD WEST
TEASER]
FADE IN:
1. EXT WINDOW – NIGHT
SHOOTING past the leafless branches of a nearby tree, its swaying movements in the high wind giving it a disturbingly alive, almost malignant quality…
… toward the one lighted window of the otherwise darkened house… where, through the curtained opening, we see the SILHOUETTED FIGURE OF A MAN pacing (his name is DR. WILLIS HANAFORD, we will come to find); then CAMERA STARTS MOVING DOWN…
2. EXT. HANAFORD HOUSE – NIGHT
to show the old, ivy-covered walls…
3. ANORTHER ANGLE – AT GAZEBO
… finally coming to light on the equally weather-beaten old gazebo on the grounds, where, dimply perceived in the gloom, we make out the figure of a MAN (his name is COLLINS, we will learn) --
-- motionless, eyes intently fastened on the lighted window.
4. ANOTHER ANGLE OF GAZEBO
as Collins continues his inspection of the lighted window, ANOTHER DIMLY SEEN FIGURE comes silently INTO VIEW through the back entrance of the gazebo, and silently approaches the other…
… who starts to whirl around, gun in hand, then stops as he HEARS:
WEST
Steady, Collins.
COLLINS put his gun away as JAMES WEST, the dimly seen figure, comes into the illumination from the window, looks up at the pacing figure, then:
4. CONTINUED
WEST (CONT’D)
All serene?
COLLINS
Yes, sir.
(glance at window)
He sure acts nervous, though.
WEST
(somberly)
Dr. Hanaford has something to be nervous about--
(abruptly)
Get yourself some coffee, Collins--I’ll spell you.
Collins nods, turns and fades into the gloom; alone, West continues to stare thoughtfully up at the window--then, again, he swings around--his suddenly alert attitude proclaiming that he has heard something--that we cannot hear…
… and then we finally HEAR it; SOFTLY, then GROWING MORE DISTINCT, the SOUNDS of a WOMAN SOBBING; a beat, then West moves off in the direction of the source--away from the house…
5. EXT. PARK-LIKE UNDERGROWTH – NIGHT
… works his way swiftly through the undergrowth (the WOMAN’S SOBBING MUCH LOUDER, now), finally parts matted shrubbery and peers through, his eyes narrowed at what he sees;
6. HIS POV – THE PLAY AREA
It’s a long-abandoned, overgrown child’s play area--with a ghostly reminder of departed childish voices in the form of a sandbox, scattered toys and a swing suspended from the branch of a towering old tree--
--and in its midst we see a WOMAN, her slender, youthful figure swathed in filmy chiffon garment, her face blurred by a semi-transparent veil, struggling in the grasp of a huge, white-haired individual, his bearded face disfigured by a snarling expression (his name is BLANCO); to the woman’s SOBBING interspersed with REITERATED “Oh, please, please, please…”
6. CONTINUED
… the albino giant plays an obbligato of a WORDLESS, ANIMAL-LIKE, GROWLING SOUNDS as he drags the young woman along, until…
7. ANOTHER ANGLE
… West comes charging out of the underbrush into the clearing…
… simultaneously with Blanco effortlessly flinging the woman over his shoulder and taking a plunging, crashing course into the underbrush; West races after the others, then comes to a crouching stop--
--as THREE GUNSELS emerge from several points, blocking West’s pursuit; West has time only for a small, wry smile before the trio closes in on him, punching and kicking…
… while West ducks, lunges and counter-attacks, utilizing his fists and all the paraphernalia that comes to hand--sand pails, rubber balls and the shrewdly directed arc of the swing to send all three sprawling; with considerable lost time to make up, West continues his race after the hunchback and his captive…
8. ANOTHER CLEARING
… until he bursts through the underbrush, reacting at the sight of the motionless figure of the chiffon-clad woman, now seen sprawled on the ground--
--with something new added in the form of a knife--buried in her back;
9. CLOSER ANGLE
West comes INTO VIEW, sinks to a knee before the inert figure, gently turns her over, lifts her veil--
--and reacts to the sight of a rag-doll face that meets his eyes; a beat, and West rises, drops the full-size doll and races back toward the Hanaford house…
10. INT. HANAFORD’S LABORATORY – NIGHT
… the very moment that Hanaford, intently scrawling calculations on a pad, reacts, his face highlighted by a flash of light; he recoils as CAMERA PULLS BACK …
11. ANOTHER ANGLE
… to show a glowing cloud of saffron smoke boiling up in a corner of the room; on this, and Hanaford’s face now lined with terror,
FADE OUT:
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
12. INT. HANAFORD’S LABORATORY – NIGHT
CONTINUING ACTION--Hanaford’s eyes are fastened on the cloud of saffron smoke like that of a bird’s on an advancing serpent--
--and as we watch, the cloud swiftly clears, disclosing an IMPRESSIVE FIGURE OF A MAN wearing a highly theatrical get-up consisting of evening dress, top hat, set off by a crimson-lined opera cloak…
… and, final touch, toying with a gold-headed staff embellished with fanciful, carved snakes that almost seem to be writhing from time to time (the newcomer’s name is DINARCHUS, it will be made clear--and he will never be seen without this snake-twined staff).
Now, with his saffron cloud cover entirely dissipated, Dinarchus moves toward the white-faced Hanaford.
DINARCHUS
It’s Dinarchus, again, Doctor; forgive the intrusion, but with that small army of steely-eyed Centurions guarding your doors---
(an elaborate shrug)
--this is the only way I can visit you.
13. CLOSE SHOT – HANAFORD
darting a barely perceptive glance off to one side…
14. ANOTHER ANGLE – ON ALARM BUTTON
… with CAMERA ZOOMING IN on to follow his glance, and disclosing what is obviously an alarm button set into his side of the table that separates the two men…
15. BACK TO SCENE
without looking at it again, Dr. Hanaford keeps inching toward the alarm button during the following:
HANAFORD
This is the third time you have “visited” me…
DINARCHUS
To be precise, the fourth.
HANAFORD
In heaven’s name, what do you want?
DINARCHUS
Merely to add my portion to the admiration a grateful world has showered upon the eminent Dr. Hanaford!
HANAFORD
(warily – bowing)
The eminent Dr. Hanaford is flattered; but there’s more, isn’t there?
DINARCHUS
More?
As he speaks he passes a canary cage suspended from a wall hook--
--makes a plucking motion through the air, and suddenly…
16. CLOSE SHOT – HIS HAND
… there’s a brilliantly colored snake writhing between his fingertips--and now, also, we can see that the glittering ring on his little finger is a strangely luminous glass eye--
17. BACK TO SCENE
Now, holding the writhing snake, Dinarchus extends it toward the canary in its cage--causing the bird to flutter its wings in terror; Dinarchus smiles happily at the bird’s reaction, then makes a flicking motion causing the snake to disappear...
... after which he turns, seats himself on a corner of the desk and continues:
DINARCHUS
Yes, my dear doctor, there’s more:
(leaning forward)
I want the holy grail--my own, personal holy grail if you please.
HANAFORD
I don’t understand...
DINARCHUS
Listen, Doctor, like you, I, too, am engaged in a ceaseless quest for the truth--a quest that seemed to be hopelessly blocked until I read the paper you presented before the Cavendish Society last month.
HANAFORD
But I still don’t...
DINARCHUS
Wait; in a modest way, I, too, am a chemist; your paper described a new organic catalyst you succeeded in isolating -- a brilliant achievement...
HANAFORD
(shakes head wearily)
Ah, we’re back to DX-24, are we?
DINARCHUS
Yes! If I am ever to find my holy grail I need that catalyst.
HANAFORD
And once again I tell you, you can’t have it!
Dinarchus’ ghastly smile widens as his staff drifts closer to Hanaford.
HANAFORD
You will be paid for it, of course--handsomely.
17. CONTINUED
HANAFORD
(earnestly--his finger almost on alarm button)
No, no, as I told you, since I am employed by the government, technically it owns everything I...
With a CRACKLING SNARL, a flash of electricity leaps from the tip of Dinarchus’ staff to Hanaford’s hand, causing Hanaford to recoil from the alarm button with a cry of pain.
18. ANOTHER ANGLE
... and now, every vestige of his smile gone, Dinarchus gets to his feet, looming menacingly over Hanaford.
DINARCHUS
(harshly)
You pitiful fool! I can open hidden portals to purgatories that Dante himself would have faltered from describing--
(his voice low, crackling)
--and I promise you I’ll lovingly introduce you to every one of them if...!
He whirls around at the SOUND of SHATTERING GLASS...
19. ANOTHER ANGLE
... to see West diving through the windows and landing on the floor amid a welter of glass shards--
--then West picks himself up and advances toward Dinarchus, who slowly retreats into the corner where he first appeared:
DINARCHUS
(continuing)
Another steely-eyed Centurion;
(raising his staff)
more later, doctor.
19. CONTINUED
His timing is superb; again a cloud of saffron smoke boils up, totally obscuring him, just as West starts to leap forward; West retreats before the corrosive cloud, coughing and blinking his obviously smarting eyes--
20. ANOTHER ANGLE – AT WINDOW
--flings wide the windows then turns, reacting as he sees...
21. HIS POV
... nothing! The saffron cloud in the corner has disappeared--and so has Dinarchus; West comes INTO VIEW, slamming his hands against the paneled wall--feeling, listening to the SOUNDS that result, then his hands contact an area that emits a HOLLOWED SOUND; West draws back, then slams his shoulder against the wall, crashes through...
22. INT. PANELED SECRET PASSAGEWAY – NIGHT
... and into a narrow corridor, illuminated by light filtering in through a skylight high on the ceiling; West is off and running toward the bend that lies ahead...
23. ANOTHER ANGLE
... then rounds the corner and barrels right toward the CAMERA--
24. ANOTHER ANGLE
--then is past the CAMERA racing along, toward a narrow set of stairs that he hastily descends;
25. ANOTHER ANGLE
West comes racing up to a cul-de-sac, stops, momentarily perplexed--then looks up and sees the trapdoor trap-door [sic]; he flips it up, hauls himself through it...
26. INT. GAZEBO – NIGHT
... and finds himself in the gazebo seen earlier; West looks around at the darkness ringing the gazebo--starts to head back to the house, then stops, as his food encounters something underfoot that CRUNCHES;
26. CONTINUED
... he stoops, comes up with several objects too small to be identifiable; CAMERA MOVES IN to West’s hand holding the objects...
MATCH FLIP TO:
27. SAME CLOSE SHOT OF HAND HOLDING OBJECT
HOLD, then PULL BACK to show that the objects are now in the hand of ARTEMUS, who is examining them through a hand lens, during which we become aware that we are now in:
28. INT. HANAFORD’S LABORATORY – NIGHT
... and that Hanaford is seated at his desk, wearing a tense expression--
--while West paces the room as he talks.
WEST
Doctor, Mr. Gordon and I are in the business of looking for trouble--and examining coincidences very, very carefully...
HANAFORD
(shaking his head)
I know you’re trying to tell me something, but...
ARTEMUS
(as he scans object)
It’s a two-part statement, doctor; on the one hand, there are half a million acres of wheatland up North that are seriously threatened by the worst blight in our history...
WEST
... for which you are narrowing down a search for an effective pesticide.
28. CONTINUED
ARTEMUS
On the other hand, we are faced with the coincidence of an extraordinarily unwholesome gentleman named Dinarchus who suddenly shows up; why?
HANAFORD
Is it that important? This Dinarchus is annoying, certainly, with his sudden appearances, and his bag of flashy tricks, but...
WEST
(gravely)
No, doctor, believe me, Dinarchus is more than a sideshow performer...
29. SHOT - ARTEMUS
as he continues to study the small objects through his glass:
ARTEMUS
... he’s very badly wanted by the police of Europe, North Africa and Asia Minor for a catalog of crimes that start with murder--
(wryly)
--and works its way up.
30. ANOTHER ANGLE – AT WINDOW
West’s pacing brings him to the window, where he stares out thoughtfully--then, as he turns back to the others his attention is attracted to an easel photograph standing on a corner bric-a-brac stand; he picks it up and studies it...
31. INSERT – PHOTO
it shows an ATTRACTIVE YOUNG MAN smiling into the CAMERA.
32. BACK TO SCENE
West turns, holding the photo as he look inquiringly at Dr. Hanaford.
HANAFORD
My son, Vance.
WEST
Is he home?
HANAFORD
No; he’s vacationing at the Cleary Ranch, twenty miles from here.
WEST
Then, except for your cook, you’re alone here.
Hanaford nods; West sets the photo back on the stand, and resumes his pacing, as:
HANAFORD
How did Dinarchus find out about the secret passages in this old house? Even I didn’t know about it!
WEST
That’s a good question--but there’s an even more important question.
HANAFORD
You mean--my DX-24?
WEST
Right! And why this Dinarchus has such an itch for it!
HANAFORD
I don't know! It’s a crystalline enzyme--one of many I’ve isolated and as far as I can see, without any value...
He stops, frowning; West watching him warily, prompts him:
32. CONTINUED
WEST
Anything else you can tell me?
HANAFORD
I meant to tell you about this before--you remember I reported that someone broke into the lab last week and stole--a small bottle...?
He pauses, and West continues:
WEST
Did it contain DX-24, by any chance?
Hanaford nods, and West’s eyes reflect his gathering excitement as he swings around to Artemus, his eye still glued to the small object.
WEST (CONT’D)
Begins to add up, Artie! Dinarchus swipes a sample of Dr. Hanaford’s enzyme...
ARTEMUS
... runs tests on it, finds it to his liking and returns for more; it’s be interesting to find out what use he plans to put it to--and while we’re on the subject of interesting items, have a peek at this.
West takes the minute object from Artemus, glances at it through the hand lens, then passes both on to Hanaford.
WEST
(thoughtfully)
Cone-shaped limestone fragments--like bits of stalactite and stalagmite.
ARTEMUS
Right! And since friend Dinarchus must have quarters somewhere in this bailiwick, that would seem to add up to--a cave.
32. CONTINUED
WEST
A cave! Of course!
(turning to Hanaford)
Doctor: Where are the limestone outcroppings around here?
West trails off; Hanaford, wearing a puzzled expression, shakes his head as he looks up from the lens.
HANAFORD
I’m sorry, gentlemen--these certainly are stalactite particles, but you can forget your cave theory--there are no limestone outcroppings for miles around!
West and Artemus exchange wry glances.
ARTEMUS
Well, so much for that theory; looks like we’ll have to continue to...
He stops, staring off, then points:
ARTEMUS (CONT’D)
Jim! Look at that photo!
West wheels around as CAMERA ANGLES...
33. ANOTHER ANGLE – AT BRIC-A-BRAC STAND
... to show the easel photo of Vance previously seen--only now there’s a wisp of smoke curling up from it; West comes INTO VIEW, gingerly picks the photo up--
--then flings it away from him, the briefest of seconds before it bursts into a fiercely burning ball of orange fire. CAMERA MOVES to establish West’s and Artemus’s grim reaction as they watch the blaze--and Hanaford’s bewildered expression.
WEST
(grimly)
One of Dinarchus’ playful tricks.
ARTEMUS
(nodding_
Neat, too; delayed action combustion, triggered by human contact...
He and West swing around at the CHOKING SOUND that is wrung from Hanaford, as CAMERA ANGLES to show him staring at the photo (its flames extinguished) lying on the floor; Artemus scoops it up...
34. INSERT – PHOTO
... and sees that in some strange way the photo is changed; it’s still Vance, but now he is no longer smiling--and his eyes are closed--as if in death.
35. BACK TO SCENE
And while all three are staring at the photo, the KNOCKING AT THE DOOR is HEARD...
36. ANOTHER ANGLE - AT DOOR
... and the door opens to disclose an AGED CHINESE HOUSEBOY, who bobs his head. (His name is TANG)
TANG
Came to say dinnah ready, please.
He bobs his head again and disappears.
37. ANOTHER ANGLE
as Hanaford gamely tries to play the gracious host.
HANAFORD
Well, gentlemen, shall we?
The three move off to the door.
FLIP TO:
38. INT. COMBINED STUDY AND DINING ROOM – NIGHT
West, Artemus and Hanaford, are seated at a table, one end of which butts up against a wall, on which a small sconce is positioned. Artemus holds up the photo of Vance (its frame charred by flames) as he speaks:
38. CONTINUED
ARTEMUS
Actually, Dinarchus is very ingenious in achieving the effects he wants--the mere touch of a human hand causes the combustion you saw--which burnt away the top photo...
He stops, as the sconce on the wall flares up, like a signal, then subsides, as a RISING HUM is HEARD--
--and, obviously in response, Hanaford presses a button set into the wall; a panel slides up, disclosing a dumbwaiter bearing a tray containing a wine bottle and glasses; Hanaford removes the tray, the panel slides shut and we HEAR the FAINT HUM of the dumbwaiter descending, as:
HANAFORD
When your kitchen is in the basement, and your cook is an ancient Cantonese with bad feet and an uncertain temper, you are well advised to install a dumbwaiter, as I did.
(to Artemus)
Please, go on, Mr. Gordon.
ARTEMUS
As I was saying, the flames burned away the top photo, exposing the second photo that Dinarchus had planted previously--and of course this photo undoubtedly was coated with a flameproof solution, so that...
Again he stops, as the SOUND of the DUMBWAITER’S HUM is HEARD AGAIN--GROWING LOUDER;
--and the wall sconce flares up again; Hanaford frowns, stops pouring wine, presses the button, the panel slides up and we see a large silver platter with a domed cover--
38. CONTINUED
--that Hanaford removes (the panel closes and the dumbwaiter descends) and sets down on the table between himself and his guest.
HANAFORD
(hand on domed cover’s handle)
Let’s see what delicacy Tang has prepared for...
He has taken the cover off as he speaks, and he and the others recoil before the cloud of smoke that boils up out of the platter, through which we see a skull...
... with glowing eyes, and from whose jaws we HEAR Dinarchus voice:
SKULL
Enjoy your meal, gentlemen, and you, doctor, enjoy your son while you may--because tomorrow, at Cock-crow he will sink into the spell I’ve prepared for him!
Even before the skull has stopped “talking” West and Artemus have leaped to their feet.
ARTEMUS
I’ll take the kitchen, Jim!
39. EXT. WINDOW – NIGHT
Pocketing his derringer, West plunges toward the curtained window...
40. EXT. WINDOW – NIGHT
... swings it wide and FIRES straight up, the gun making an oddly MUFFLED RETORT... The writer must have meant that Jim “produced” the derringer, not pocketed it!
41. SHOT – SKY
... and the star-shell missile West has fired blossoms out into a bright-as-day burst of illumination...
42. INT. HANAFORD DINING ROOM – NIGHT
... then West pockets his gun and dashes for the door leading out of the room, slams through...
43. EXT. FRONT DOOR HANAFORD FRONT DOOR – NIGHT
... and out the front door, swinging wide as he heads for the gazebo--the whole scene eerily illuminated by the star-shell he has put into orbit...
44. INT. GAZEBO – NIGHT
TWO GUNSELS whirl around as West slams into the gazebo--and a THIRD GUNSEL scrambles out of the trapdoor opening as West mixes it up with the two on their feet, dodging, weaving, counterpunching...
45. EXT. GAZEBO – NIGHT
... then, crashing through the lattice work sides, one gunsel is catapulted out from one side, while another is catapulted out from another--
--and the third slams out of the door and takes to his heels, followed by West, who turns to the two gunsels who have risen to their feet, mixing it up again with them...
46. SHOT – STAR-SHELL
drifting down from its tiny parachute--and as we watch its bright descent, it flickers and go out, plunging the scene into unrelieved darkness.
47. BACK TO WEST
and now West can no longer see his opponents; we HEAR them SCRAMBLING THROUGH THE BUSHES as they take to their heels--heels;
A beat, then West turns and heads hastily back to the house.
48. INT. HANAFORD CORRIDOR – NIGHT
West is hustling along the corridor when he comes fact to face with Collins, the agent we saw earlier.
48. CONTINUED
COLLINS
No, sir--got every exit covered, too. something missing here?
West nods grimly, starts to turn around, then pauses, staring...
49. CLOSE SHOT – WALL
... at the small, torn portion of dark material, lined with crimson silk that is snagged on a hinge pin; West bends into VIEW, disengages the piece of material...
50. BACK TO SCENE
... and straightens up, looking his find over.
WEST
In spite of which, a certain gentleman in a top hat and opera cloak passed this way.
He turns, runs back the way he came...
51. ANOTHER ANGLE
... and rounds a corner at high speed to come upon Artemus bending over Tang, sprawled on the ground, blinking dazedly, as if just coming to; he massages his throat, then WHISPERS PAINFULLY in CHINESE--to which Artemus nods soberly as he listens, ending finally with:
ARTEMUS
(in CHINESE)
It is well; rest now.
Artemus looks up to see West:
ARTEMUS (CONT’D)
It seems Tang was preparing dinner when a chopped off hand came floating through the air and fastened itself around his throat; he managed to fight his way out here, then…
Artemus makes an “out-like-a-light” gesture.
51. CONTINUED
WEST
(grimly)
Never a dull moment with Dinarchus hanging around, is there?
A CHOKING SOUNDS causes West and Artemus to look around...
52. ANOTHER ANGLE – AT DOOR
... to find Dr. Hanaford rounding the corner, staring at the scene; CAMERA MOVES IN CLOSE
53. CLOSE SHOT – HANAFORD
... as he covers his face with a pair of trembling hands:
MATCH DISSOLVE TO:
53. SAME CLOSE SHOT OF HANAFORD, HANDS COVERING HIS FACE
then PULL BACK to show we now are in...
54. INT. HANAFORD’S COMBINED STUDY AND DINING ROOM – NIGHT
... that we are now in a book-lined, paneled room. West holds a skull in his hand, as:
WEST
It was all done with tricks, don’t you see? Hiding in the corridors, Dinarchus cleverly projected his voice; the rising smoke helped create the illusion that the skull was actually talking...
Suddenly Hanaford uncovers his face and turns fiercely to West:
HANAFORD
You think you can explain away everything, don’t you? Dinarchus’ shabby little tricks shouldn’t frighten me, I know--but they do ... for my son!
WEST
Dr. Hanaford...
55. CONTINUED
HANAFORD
First the photo of Vance--looking dead--then the skull talking--
(repeating, dread in his voice)
“Tomorrow, at cock-crow, your son will sink into a spell I’ve prepared for him!”
West sets the skull down and moves off to the door, collecting his hat as he goes:
WEST
Dr. Hanaford, it’ll be light enough to pick up Dinarchus trail in a little while, so I’m leaving;
(pausing)
and by the way, Mr. Gordon thought it might be a good idea to go to the Cleary ranch and bring Vance back here where we can keep an eye on him.
Hanaford’s eyes are brimming with gratitude as West swings the door open.
HANAFORD
That takes a big load off my mind! When will Mr. Gordon...?
WEST
(eyeing clock)
He left with the train over an hour ago, so he ought to be arriving at the ranch about now.
He exits: CAMERA HOLDS on Hanaford’s tired, but relieved expression--
FLIP TO.
56. EXT. CLEARY RANCH – DAWN
SHOOTING UP--at a western-type front gate arch constructed out of heavy branches, with the name “CLEARY” worked into the design, through which we see the light-streaked, early dawn sky; HOLD, then TILT DOWNWARD...
57. ANOTHER ANGLE
... to show a WRANGLER-TYPE harnessing a horse near the gate--
--and beyond him, a plume of dust marking the fast pace being set by a horse racing toward the gate--which soon becomes visible as the horse bearing Artemus; as Artemus pulls up beside the wrangler:
ARTEMUS
I’m looking for a Mr. Vance Hanaford.
The wrangler swings around, eyes searching, then he stops, pointing off, as CAMERA ANGLES...
58. ANOTHER ANGLE
... to show a YOUNG MAN (he’s VANCE HANAFORD) and an ATTRACTIVE YOUNG LADY (she’s ROSAMUND TATE) on horses, riding out of a corral and approaching, both LAUGHING and talking animatedly; Artemus dismounts and walks out to meet the two riders.
BAIN [? Obviously should be Artie!]
Mr. Hanaford?
(at the other’s nod)
My name’s Gordon--a friend of your father’s, you might say...
VANCE
(a rush of concern)
Is he all right?
ARTEMUS
Couldn’t be righter; but he’d feel a lot better if you’d return home with me.
The momentary concern in the boy’s eyes drains away, replaced by exasperation, as:
VANCE
But I don’t understand--if he’s all right...?
ARTEMUS
It’s a little complicated; look, I have a train waiting at the siding for the return trip--I’ll to into all the details on the way back, I promise you.
VANCE
All right, Mr. Gordon--
(suddenly remembering)
Oh--may I present Miss Rosamund Tate...
Artemus and the young lady murmur “How-do-you-do’s,” then Vance continues, as he takes her arm:
VANCE (CONT’D)
... who has just consented to marry me.
ARTEMUS
Congratulations--to both of you!
Vance and Rosamund AD-LIB “Thank you’s,” then Vance turns to Rosamund:
VANCE
You’re coming back with me, Rosamund...
59. SHOT – AT FENCE
we see a rooster picking his way along, then flapping himself up onto the topmost fence pole, where he starts the traditional stretching, neck-craning and wing flapping that precedes the crowing...
60. BACK TO SCENE
VANCE (CONT’D)
... after all, you’ve got to meet your future father-in-law some time, and this is as good a time as...
This is the point where the CROWING RINGS OUT--and the effect on Vance is immediate; he freezes, his eyes turn up, then before Artemus or Rosamund can raise a hand, he slips from the saddle and falls inertly to the ground.
On the tableau of Artemus staring downward in shocked horror while Rosamund’s SCREAM is FILLING THE AIR, we
FREEZE SCREAM AND FRAME:
END OF ACT ONE