The Night Of The Shocking Deception

[Artiespet]

This can be a stand alone but you really need to read TNOT Deception first.


THE NIGHT OF THE SHOCKING DECEPTION

He alternated between singing and humming until it drove the guards beyond their endurance. One of the guards pounded on the prison wagon wall and threatened to pull the wagon over and shoot him if that’s what it took to shut him up. Good, they are getting good and mad at me. Keep pushing Miguelito…keep pushing…soon you’ll have them so upset they won’t want to be anywhere near you, the prisoner thought with a smile as he went back to his singing.

WWWWWWWWWW

“Hey, pal, Jeremy told me I’d find you out here,” James West, Secret Service Agent said to his partner, Artemus Gordon.

“Just because I can’t ride Mesa doesn’t mean I can’t curry her,” Artie replied forlornly as he brushed his horse.

“That’s true. But don’t worry by the time we get to Washington you should be able to sit a horse again,”

“Since when does it take this train three weeks to get from Denver to Washington?” Artie stopped brushing his steed to stare at his partner.

“Since we have to stop in Kansas City on a storm delay. We’ll be held up there until the storm passes and the way is cleared.”

“Kansas City…Uh…partner…this train isn’t headed to Kansas City…is it? Just what are you up to James?” Artie wanted to know.

“Nothing, Alex rerouted us to get below the heavy winter storms up in the Dakotas but it seems we’re getting stuck by Old Man Winter anyway. There’s a massive storm blanketing most of the Mid West.”

“And the fact that the prison wagon carrying Dr. Loveless was routed through Kansas City had nothing whatsoever to do with that decision did it?” Artie glared at him.

“Is that the route the Army’s taking with Loveless…it had completely slipped my mind,” Jim replied with a smile.

“James, my boy, you do invite trouble,” Artie chuckled as he put the curry brush away and fed his steed some oats.

“Not on purpose, Artie. But come on, you have to agree it was the right thing to do,” Artie glared at him not wanting to follow his partner’s convoluted logic.

“Look at it this way, pal. If we know Loveless as well as I think we do; if he’s going to make a break for it this storm delay is where he’ll do it.

And you figure the United States Army can’t guard him just because a few snow flakes are falling?” Artie smiled.

“Well, it’s not that exactly…”

“James, what pot of boiling water are you planning on dipping us into?” Artie asked as they headed back to the parlor car.

“You won’t like it, pal.”

“I already don’t like it but suppose you tell me as opposed to me finding out when it’s too late to voice my objections that probably won’t be listened to anyway.”

“We know Loveless better than anyone don’t we? So I figure that if he does escape while we’re here we would be the most likely ones to after him.”

“And you think the Colonel will follow your convoluted logic?” Artie asked doubtfully.

“He’ll have to. You know Loveless won’t be able to resist rubbing our noses in his escape,” Jim beamed.

“And?”

“And when he does it will be us he contacts…”

And?” Artie questioned him further knowing he wouldn’t like the answer.

“When Loveless makes contact you know he will no doubt request it be us who deals with him.”

“Jim, you ought to have your head examined. We got Jeremy suspended, we got ourselves suspended not to mention very nearly fired and now you want to go off tailing the very man we have been ordered to steer clear of. I think we’re in so deep even
Great Aunt Maude couldn’t help us if we get in any more trouble.”

“I just know our old friend Loveless and I know that the Colonel won’t be able to say no.”

“You know, Jim it must be real interesting seeing the world from that side of your brain,” Artie grinned at his partner as the entered the parlor car.

“Hello, James, Artemus!” Jeremy called out a greeting as he rose from the desk, shoving the telegraph key back into place.

“Hello, Jeremy,” Artie and Jim replied in unison, “So, what’s up?” Artie asked, gesturing to the telegraph.

“Just received a weather report. It’s not looking good anywhere in the Mid West. We could be held up in Kansas City as long as a week or more. This is one bad snow storm,” Jeremy replied.

“Guess our route back to Washington wouldn’t have matter then,” Artie said glancing at his partner, “But if I had to be snowed in I’d much rather it be here than out in the middle of nowhere up in the Dakotas.”

“You and me both, pal,” Jim said, “At least here there’s things to do.”

“Not that many things for you, pal. You’re still banned from the ladies,” Artie winked at Jeremy, glad for a chance to tease his partner.

“They can’t honestly count this as part of our suspension if we are stranded here…can they?” Jim looked shocked while Artie and Jeremy merely laughed.

“You know the President, Jim…he’d say yes just to hear you scream!” Artie laughed.

“Don’t worry, James. If push comes to shove I’m sure you’re silver-tongued partner there can talk the powers that be into just about anything,” Jeremy said as they sat down to supper.

WWWWWWWWWW

“I heard soldiers talking, boss. We will be delayed in Kansas City…could be for as long as a week.”

“Good, Voltaire, very good. My men should be in position in a day or two. Until then we’ll just sit tight.”

“Yes, boss. And, boss, I also heard that the snow is bad all the way up north to Canada and some fancy train has been detoured here.”

“A fancy train? Oh, Voltaire you know what that means?”

“Mr. West and Mr. Gordon?”

“Yes, there is only one fancy train that I am aware of that would interest the Army. Oh, this is a pleasant development indeed. If this plan goes well Voltaire, you’ll get another shot at our dear Mr. West.”

“And Mr. Gordon?”

“Mustn’t be greedy, Voltaire. Why would you want them both?”

“Mr. Gordon held a gun to you.”

“Ah, Voltaire, protective to the end. I made a wise decision when I chose you. As you wish then. Once we escape you can bet West and Gordon will find a way to get in on the chase and when the time comes you shall have them both,” Voltaire smiled broadly.


TWO DAYS LATER –


“Just sitting here watching the snow pile up is enough make a man insane!” Artie grumped as he stared out the window, “It’s not even fit weather for a man to make his way to a saloon.”

“Cheer up, pal. At least we’re catching up on our sleep like we are supposed to and you’re ribs are getting a break too,” Jim tried to cheer his partner’s dreary mood.

“If I sleep any more I’m afraid I may never be able to sleep properly again. No way can I take another week or two of this.”

“Maybe you won’t have to, Artemus,” Jeremy said.

“The latest weather report says there should be a break in the snowfall starting tomorrow. It will still take a few days to clear the tracks but at least with a break in the storm we can go out.”

“That is the best news I’ve heard all day!” Artie grinned, “Not that I mind the company of you two gentlemen…but it would be nice to see other faces for a change.”

“The feelings mutual, pal,” Jim commented with a smile, “Any news on the Loveless transportation?”

As if on cue the telegraph erupted in a fury of clicks. Artie turned from the window and pulled the key out to send an acknowledgement when Jeremy took the key from him, gently reminding him he was still restricted from work of any kind. Artie just rolled his eyes and moved out of the way after handing Jeremy the paper and pencil.

WWWWWWWWWW

“Voltaire, after dark I want my plan to go into action…can you get word to our Army friend?” Loveless whispered to his companion.

“Yes, boss,” Voltaire answered quietly.

“Hush up back there!” The guard yelled as he pounded on the side of the wagon.

Loveless and Voltaire huddled together in the middle of the wagon under the pretext of being cold, which they were, this gave them a chance to discuss their escape.

Darkness fell and Loveless warned Voltaire to be ready. He waited until supper had been served then he instructed Voltaire to put the bread in his pockets as they didn’t know how long it would be until they would meet up with his henchmen. Loveless slipped down from his bench and grabbed his stomach and began screaming.

“Guard, get a doctor, this man is sick!” Voltaire shouted.

The guard ran to the medical tent and brought back the doctor. They moved Voltaire to the ground outside the wagon, guarded by two well-armed soldiers. The doctor entered the wagon and bent over Loveless. The little man moaned and held onto his stomach. The doctor tried to pry his hands apart when a plume of gray smoke billowed up, striking the doctor full in the face.

The doctor coughed, scrunched his face and toppled over. Loveless pushed him off and grabbed his medical bag. Searching through it Loveless found what he was looking for. He reached in and carefully removed the scalpel. He cut his ropes and pocketed the scalpel and a few other items from the medical bag. Then he made his way to the door and slowly opened it.

When Voltaire saw his boss stick his head through he pulled his hands up and over the nearest guard’s head and proceeded to strangle him until the guard slumped unconscious to the ground.
Voltaire searched his pockets and found the keys to his handcuffs, grabbing them and reaching up to put Loveless on his shoulder, he nodded to the remaining guard and moved toward him. The guard lowered his rifle and stood still as Voltaire hit him. The guard crumpled to the ground as Voltaire took off in the direction of the woods, Loveless clutching his shoulder like a vise grip. They disappeared into the forest amid shouts from the camp.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jeremy quickly tapped the acknowledgement and began to take down the message. Artie stopped and leaned on the mantle to hear. The lines in Jeremy’s face hardened as he decoded the message, Artie’s face showed almost no emotion at all. When the message was completed Jeremy returned the telegraph key and looked at his fellow agents.

“Looks like you were right, James,” Jeremy said stoically
.
“Of course he was right. What else could Washington expect? It is Loveless we’re talking about. And we DID warn the Colonel something like this would happen.”

“Calm down, Artie…” Jim began.

“Calm down? Why can’t they pay attention for a change? If they had just let us transport that little jerk he’d still be locked up not running around loose somewhere.”

“I know how you feel, pal, believe me I am as upset as you are. But the message said they want ALL available agents on this,” Jim said with a twinkle in his eye.

“James, you and Artemus hardly qualify as available agents. Point one…you are both on suspension…point two you are both on medical leave. I’m sure you aren’t included in that message,” Jeremy stated vehemently.

“Ah…he’s right, Jim. We’ve caused enough trouble for Jeremy and as much as I want to join that search we’ve got to stay put,” Jim did a double take at his partner’s abrupt change in attitude.

“Artie?” Jim questioned.

“Just let Jeremy do his job and we’ll sit here and man the telegraph…if that would be acceptable.”

“Artemus, you don’t have any ideas of joining in the search the second I’m gone do you?” Jeremy asked skeptically.

“No, Jeremy I do not. Last time we got you suspended this time it could get you fired. I’d not wish that on anyone not even Loveless.”

“Well, that’s a nice change of pace…thank you, Artemus. I’m sure the Colonel will be pleasantly surprised,” Jeremy said, Jim was still staring at his partner in disbelief.

“I know we can’t be out there but someone has to man the wires and that much Jim and I can do.”

“Sure we can, Jeremy. Why don’t you go ahead and go meet up with the Army…we’ll let the Colonel know you left on your assignment,” Jim said.

“All right, James, I’d appreciate that. I’ll leave at once,” Jim waited until Jeremy was out of the car before turning to his partner.

“So, pal would you like to explain your abrupt change of attitude just when I thought we could convince Jeremy to let us go?” Jim growled.

“Simple. It was just easier to agree with him. It got him out of the train didn’t it?” Artie replied.

“Artie, you sly devil. You have no intention of obeying our restrictions do you?”

“Oh I intend to abide by our restrictions…” Artie let his sentence trail off.

“I hear a but in there, Artemus.”

“But…should we hear any information while we’re manning the wire that causes us to have to leave…well now that would be out of our hands wouldn’t it?” Artie returned his partners smile.

“I do like the way you think pal.”

“Yeah, well, I have a score to settle with Loveless. This time it’s personal,” Artie spat his face a mask of anger bordering on hatred.

“I don’t blame you there. He did very nearly kill you.”

“It’s not that, Jim,” Artie replied solemnly.

“It’s not? Then what’s got you so upset?”

“He made me hate my partner, my best friend and my brother. THAT I will NOT tolerate,” Jim could only watch in shock as his partner stormed from the room.


Jim sat reading the paper waiting to see if any more news about Loveless would come. None came. Finally, having read every paper in the room, he rose and started to head out of the parlor car to check and see if his partner’s mood had cooled off any when the door to the car opened and his partner stepped through. Artie froze and stared at his partner for a long moment before speaking.

“Jim.”

“Artie,” Jim acknowledged with a nod.

“I need to apologize for my actions earlier. It’s not you I’m mad at…I should save my anger for Loveless.”

“It’s okay, pal. I understand. But what makes you so sure you’ll get a chance to turn that anger loose on Loveless?”

“I don’t know…I guess it’s like you said…we just know Loveless.”

The telegraph clicked to life startling them both. Jim bowed to his partner and waved him to the desk. Artie quickly sent the acknowledgement as he sat down at the desk. He grabbed the paper and pencil and quickly jotted down the information, his smile growing with each word. When he finished, he typed the quick reply and returned the telegraph key to its customary position, leaned back in his chair and tossed the pencil onto the desk.

“What did we tell them, Jim? They wouldn’t listen and now Dr. Demento is making his demands known. Morons, Jim…they’re all morons!” Artie smiled.

“Maybe next time they’ll listen, pal.”

[Artiespet]

“It’s the government, somehow I doubt it.”

“What do we do now?” Artie asked, “You heard that message and you know what he wants.”

“I would suggest you get that for starters,” Jim said to his partner, as the telegraph demanded their attention yet again.
Artie tapped out the acknowledgement and began writing down the incoming message. His eyes bulged as he realized who the sender was. He took the message and paused before sending the reply. When he finished he looked at his partner and shook his head slowly.

“Well, that tears it. You caught that message didn’t you?” Artie asked him.

“Most of it, yeah. Do you really think they’ll let us meet with him to discuss what you and I both know are NOT the terms of his surrender but more probably our own?”

“That’s why we probably won’t be here,” Artie replied cryptically as he quickly wrote out a message for Jeremy along with his transcribed telegram from Loveless and he made some notes of his own.

“We won’t be here…?”

“Like I said if we get information over the wire that causes us to leave…”

“I love the way you think, partner. What should we take?”

“We’re breaking the rules so we might as well go for broke…I’m going to grab some things from my lab and I’m thinking warm clothes. Loveless is liable to have us tromping all over the countryside before he actually leads us where he wants us to be in the first place.”

“Good idea, Artie. I think I’ll go get some things too. Meet you in the stable car?”

“Give me about ten minutes,” Artie replied as they left to get the things they would need.

WWWWWWWWWW

“Are the traps set, Voltaire?”

“Yes, boss. They are set as you ordered. But don’t you want them hidden better? They’ll see them for sure.”

“As I intend them to see them. They will expect traps. They’ll be looking for them. So I’ll let them find them. When they reach the inner sanctum their guard will be down.”

“Ahhh…”

“And when they think I’m going to spring my hidden trap…that’s when the fun begins.”

“The room then?” Voltaire said expectantly.

“Oh no, that I am saving for later…much later. No, this meeting will be just that. A meeting and nothing more, then they will be free to leave,” Loveless took in Voltaire’s confused expression.

“Think about it, Voltaire. What would it do to the psyche of the great James West and Artemus Gordon when they leave here after an encounter that is nothing more than just a cursory meeting? Oh, the looks on their faces when they leave will be worth it. They won’t know what to make of Dr. Miguelito Loveless being hospitable,” Loveless grinned and rubbed his hand together in glee.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jim pulled the bag from his closet and tossed some clothes into it. He grabbed his heavy coat from the closet and stuffed several items into the pockets. He left his room and stopped in the weapons room. He outfitted himself with a boot knife, a knife for the back of his bolero jacket and a gun for each sleeve. He put his bolero jacket back on, grabbed his outer jacket and bag and headed out of his room. He stopped at the lab door, thought quickly and went in.

Artie was just finishing putting his clothes into his bag and he was reaching for his journal when he heard his partner pass. He grinned when he heard the footsteps pause then enter the lab. He finished packing, grabbed his bag and the ‘toys’ he had already taken from the lab and headed toward the stable car.
Jim entered the stable car to find Artie saddling Mesa. He finished and went over to fill Mesa’s oat bag and hung it on her.

“Eat up, girl, it may be a while before you’ll get oats again,” Artie patted her neck and watched as his partner put something in his saddlebag. Artie raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

“I brought us some food, Jim. It will take us a while to get where we’re going and back again. And there’s no telling how long Loveless will want to occupy our time.”

“Oh, that’s great, I forgot about food. Artie? What about your ribs…I can go meet Loveless alone. I can tell him the truth…that you can’t make it.”

“No, he wants us both and we can take our time getting there. If he’s in that big a hurry he can come find us.”

“Shall we head out? I left the telegram and a note for Jeremy and I made a copy of the directions for us. I would really rather not be here when Jeremy gets back,” Artie said determinedly as he avoided his partner’s eyes.

“Sure, Artie. We can walk the horses, Loveless will wait for us I’m sure.”

They pulled the ramp down, brought the horses out and replaced the ramp. Jim mounted Black Jack and sat patiently waiting for his partner. Maybe I should insist Artie stay here again. Give him an option, Jim thought, his ribs aren’t nearly healed enough for all this riding we have to do and it won’t be very pleasant.

“Hey, pal, you sure you don’t want to stay here and wait for Jeremy? Loveless would have to…” Jim began only to be cut off.

“No, Jim. While I appreciate what you’re trying to do; Loveless was pretty specific in his request. I’ll be fine,” Artie retorted as he climbed into the saddle and pulled Mesa’s reins.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jeremy rode up to the train and dismounted. He handed his reins to a crewman who happened to be out clearing away snow and went inside. That’s odd, there are no lights on in here, Jeremy thought was he made his way to the desk and lit the lamp. The first thing he saw was the note from Artemus. Jeremy opened the note and quickly read it, his face becoming redder with each passing second.

Jeremy
Enclosed you will find a telegram we took while you were out. As you can see it left no room for interpretation. Jim and I HAD to go. If he keeps his word we’ll be back by tomorrow night. If not then you have a general direction in which to start your search. You should in no way be held responsible for our departure as you were on company business when we left and we didn’t consult you. See you in a day or so.
Artemus and James

Jeremy looked at the telegram Artie had taken and cursed under his breath. Damn those two! I’ll take this to the Colonel, but I’d hate to be those two when he gets a hold of them. Why they think for one minute that Loveless will keep his word is beyond me. Jeremy shook his head as she shrugged back into his coat.

WWWWWWWWWW

As they neared the meeting site with Loveless, Jim and Artie dismounted and scouted the area looking for booby traps. Several were quickly discovered and disabled. After they had cleared the way to the old abandoned farmhouse, they carefully checked the perimeter before cautiously approaching the porch.

They opened the door to an almost inviting scene. If it had been anyone but Loveless they were here to see Artie would have felt right at home. There was a roaring fire in the fireplace, comfortable chairs grouped around it and a small table off to one side with fresh coffee. Jim and Artie glanced at each other as they took in the room.

“Come in, gentlemen, come in!” Loveless called to them.

“Join me by the fire, I’m sure you had a cold ride,” Loveless gestured toward the two empty chairs.

Jim and Artie cautiously entered the room and gave the chairs a visual inspection before sitting down. Loveless motioned to Voltaire, who poured them each a steaming cup of coffee. Artie used his to warm his hands while Jim chose to set his on the table.

“Why don’t we get to the point of this little meeting, Dr. Loveless,” Artie said eager to get this over with.

“Hospitality is quickly becoming a lost art, Mr. Gordon. I would think you of all people would appreciate fine hospitality.”

“Artie’s not had the best of weeks, Dr. Loveless, but then you’d know that. Why don’t we quit playing games and just get right down to business,” Jim intoned.

“How droll…but as you wish. I called you here to discuss the terms under which I will surrender.”

“What’s to stop the Army from just storming the place and taking you by force?” Artie asked.

“As I told you this place is well fortified. In case you doubt me a small demonstration is in order,” Loveless looked at Voltaire, “Voltaire please detonate one of my little surprises on the outermost perimeter.” Voltaire flipped a switch on a board and Jim and Artie felt the ground shake.

“That, gentlemen, was about half a mile away. There are similar such explosives at varying intervals between there and this house. Not to mention that this house itself sits on a powder keg.”

“Really, gentlemen, you can’t think me so stupid as to leave my lair totally unprotected.”

“Oh, no, Dr. Loveless…in fact we fully expected something like this,” Artie retorted, “Which is why we left detailed instructions on how to find us should you forget to keep your word,” Artie said to their host.

“And yet you came.”

“Anything to nail your sorry hide to the wall once and for all.”

“Mr. Gordon, where is your usual tongue in cheek humor? This surly side of you I do not think I am fond of one bit.”

“Being beaten, poisoned and left to die can make one tend to lose his sense of humor,” Artie shrugged.

“Very well then, gentlemen. I will outline my terms and you may take them back to your superiors.”

“Oh, this ought to be interesting, James. Ya think he’s gonna ask for the White house as he private cell?” Artie said as he leaned forward.

“Now there is that famous Artemus Gordon wit I have been waiting for,” Loveless smiled.

As Loveless laid out his terms it was all Jim and Artie could do to keep from laughing. If Loveless thinks for one second that Richmond will go for even one of his demands he’s off his rocker, Artie thought was he listened. A PRIVATE cell in his OWN cell block? Who is he trying to kid? He’s got to have some sort of ulterior motive with all these outlandish demands. Artie looked at his partner and saw that he felt the same way.

“Doctor, surely you can’t expect any of these demands to be met,” Jim said dryly.

“Why not? They are not as outlandish as they seem, Mr. West. I am willing to give your government what it wants in exchange for a few common courtesies.”

“Loveless you’re insane! There is no way Colonel Richmond will concede to these demands. What we will do is take them to him and see if he wants to give you a list of counter terms,” Jim stated.

“Fair enough, Mr. West. Gentlemen, I have several spare rooms available if you’d like to rest here overnight and head back to your train in the morning. It is getting dark and my woods are not the safest place to travel in the dark.”

“Stay the night with Dr. Loveless on purpose? I don’t know about you, Jim, but my will’s not up to date so I think I’ll pass,” Artie shook his head.

“Artie’s right. Sorry, to have to decline your invitation, doctor, but we’ll take our chances out there. We have enough daylight to get past your perimeter…we can camp out.”

“Suit yourselves, gentlemen,” Loveless said as he showed them out.

“Now just what do you think that was all about?” Artie asked as they mounted their horses.

“I’m not sure, do you have any ideas?”

“Not a one. The usual heartless, ruthless Loveless I can figure out and I can deal with…this version I don’t think I could handle on a regular basis. He was so damned nice it gave me the willies!”

They rode on in silence looking for a place to stay the night that offered enough shelter from the elements as well as was well outside Loveless’ perimeter. Finding one, they made camp and Artie cooked a meager meal of bacon, beans and biscuits. He was getting his bedroll ready and failed to notice Jim slip something into his food. They ate by the fire discussing Loveless’ list.

WWWWWWWWWW

Richmond met Jeremy as he was leaving the train and Jeremy followed him into the train filling them in on what had transpired.

“They went WHERE?!? Richmond yelled loud enough to rattle the windows in the parlor car.

“I’m sorry, sir. I wasn’t back from the errand you sent me on. I guess they just took the message and then took off before anyone could get here to stop them.”

“Don’t worry, Pike. It’s not your butt on the line this time. When I get my hands on those two they’ll be lucky if they can make one backside between them!”

“I was a but upset with them myself, sir.”

“What do you make of Artemus’ note? How can we even entertain the idea of letting them meet with Loveless and on his terms? We’ve got to get some men up there.”

“I don’t know, sir. They must have seen something in that message that we don’t. And you know how Loveless is…if he told them to come alone and they didn’t…well a lot of innocent people could get hurt.”

“Well, whatever it was they saw if they are not back here by noon tomorrow I’m going looking for them myself!” Richmond stalked out of the parlor car toward the front of the train.

“There’s plenty of food left, pal, you want some more?” Jim offered the pan to his partner.

“Nah, I’ve had plenty, thanks. I think I’ll just finish my coffee and hit the hay. Something tells me we need to get back to the train as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, I’m sure Jeremy found our note by now. And I don’t expect that he’ll be too pleased with us when we get back.”

“It’s not Jeremy I’m worried about…” Artie replied.

“Then who?”

“What do you think Richmond will say when he learns what we did? He was on his way to the train for a meeting with Jeremy.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about him. Hey, we are getting back totally unscathed AND with Loveless’ demands, something he never would have given if anyone else had shown up. They should be happy about that.”

“Not to mention that we discovered and were given a demonstration of his defenses. Can you imagine if a regiment of soldiers had gone in to meet him instead of us?”

“You’ve got a point there, Artie. I don’t see them being able to yell…too loudly,” Jim beamed.

“Me either but then you know Richmond,” Artie chuckled, “But I’d like to get back as soon as possible just the same.”

They lay down near the fire and fell asleep. When they woke the next morning they were surprised to see a breakfast of biscuits, bacon, eggs and coffee laid out. There was a note attached to the basket.

Gentlemen
You wouldn’t avail yourself of my hospitality last night so the least I could do is to see you off with a nice meal. And NO it is not poisoned. I am as interested in having my demands met as I am sure you and your government are in getting me into custody. As I stated before I will be waiting here for your answer.
Loveless

As Artie read the note the hairs on the back of his neck rose. He handed the note to Jim and examined the contents of the basket.

“What do you make of this, Jim?”

“I think all the years of chasing him have finally gotten to the good doctor. Loveless has all but lost his mind,” Jim replied.

“You don’t suppose he’s doing it on purpose do you?” Artie asked skeptically.

“Hmm you might be on to something there, Artie. Maybe he’s being nice to lull us into a false sense of security or something then he’ll spring his little trap.”

“James, my boy, my thoughts exactly. What do you say we just play along with our dear old friend and see where he goes with this game?”

“Sounds good to me, Artie. I’ll go saddle the horses…you take care of the camp,” Jim rose and went to saddle the horses and Artie set about breaking up camp, whistling as he worked.


They reached the train well before noon; Jim noting the smoke from the parlor car chimney, indicating the car had occupants. He nodded to Artie who returned the nod along with a smirk. They rode up quietly and put their horses in the stalls, taking the time to feed and curry them before making the long walk to their fate.

They entered the parlor car removing their coats as they entered.
Richmond, seated behind the desk, looked up from the file he as working on, the look on his face speaking volumes to the two agents. Jim and Artie hung their coats on the rack and sat down at the table. Artie held the papers from Loveless in front of him and suddenly found them to be utterly fascinating. Jim simply sat rigidly in his chair staring straight ahead. Artie did his best not to rub his chest to ease the pain. Richmond let them sit for a time before he broke the icy silence.

“Gentlemen, do you have anything you’d care to tell me?” Richmond asked icily.

“Sir,” Artie began, “I know you’ve seen the note I left for Jeremy. Yes, we disobeyed orders but you know Loveless would have settled for no one other than Jim and I. We went to the meeting to save lives.”

“And it worked, sir,” Jim added quickly before Richmond could interject, “he has that place more heavily fortified than Fort Knox.”

“How so?” Richmond asked, his ire forgotten for the moment.

“He has the perimeter mined for about a half mile all around. We followed his instructions going in but coming out he gave us different directions. I’d bet on it that he changes the locations of the mines frequently.”

“I’d bet my Great Aunt Maude on it,” Artie commented.

“Oh, just great. How will anyone get back in to talk with him?”

“My guess is that they won’t, sir. Not unless that someone is either Jim or myself. He can detonate those mines individually from inside the house itself.”

“Colonel, Loveless is up to something but there is no way to find out what without Artie or I being involved. I would request to do this alone but Loveless was rather insistent,” Jim said not daring to look at his partner.

“I’m fully capable of handling this, Jim,” Artie growled, “And besides why should you get all the fun figuring out the new Loveless?” Artie grinned at his partner.

“New Loveless? What are you talking about, Gordon? Mr. West has your partner lost his marbles?” Richmond wondered.

“No, sir, Artie’s as sane as ever,” Jim chuckled.

“It would seem, Colonel, that Dr. Miguelito Loveless wants us to believe he has turned over a new leaf. He was so hospitable and dripping with kindness it was positively scary,” Artie told him.

“Knowing Loveless as we do, do you really believe his new persona?”

“Not for a second, sir. He’s up to something…he has to be. A cordial Loveless is one thing but mark my words that little man is up to something and whatever it is you can bet it’s no good,” Artie said.

“I don’t like it. I’m certain the President isn’t going to like it either.”

“Uh…sir…do we have to tell him? I mean can’t we just deal with this and then tell the President?” Jim asked hopefully.

“I’d like nothing more than that, gentlemen but I have my orders and I am not nearly as eager to disobey them as the two of you.”

“What I will do is wait to contact President Grant until the day after tomorrow. My designated check in with him. You have until then to get this resolved and Loveless back in custody. I’m putting Jeremy on this with you; Loveless will just have to deal with it. You are still on suspension and medical leave, gentlemen.”

“Yes, sir. Loveless knows Jeremy so I think we can come up with a plausible reason for him to be with us,” Jim said.

“How about the truth, Jim? Loveless is so high on truth right now why not throw some back in his direction?” Artie asked.

“What do you have in mind, Artie?” Jim questioned.

“We simply tell Loveless that our antics got us suspended and the only way we are allowed to negotiate is if Jeremy’s with us.”

“Hmm…that’s just twisted enough to work. Loveless would never suspect us of stooping to totally honesty when dealing with him,” Jim smiled, Richmond groaned and rolled his eyes.

“I ought to have my head examined,” Richmond said, “but what you propose does make sense. All right, you have my permission under the conditions that you pull no further stunts and you run everything by Jeremy. At least I think Jeremy is capable of not letting you two pull the wool over his eyes twice.”

They spent the rest of the evening bringing Jeremy up to date on Loveless. The Colonel tried to continue to work on his files but he continually found himself engrossed in their conversation. When they began to talk strategy, Richmond abandoned his work and joined them at the table. The four men talked well into the evening and all four jumped when the telegraph clicked to life once more.

Jeremy tapped out the acknowledgement and Artie grabbed paper and pencil to take down the message. It was Loveless wanting to meet the next day. Jeremy sent the reply Colonel Richmond dictated and they waited for the reply. The silence was almost deafening. Jim thought they may have angered Loveless to the point where he would call the whole thing off, when the wires again demanded their attention. They all listened while Artie took down the message. When he finished, Jeremy tapped the acknowledgement with the notation that a reply would be forthcoming.

“Oh, he’s mad all right, James. But he knows there’s nothing that can be done about it. Colonel, he’s willing to accept the addition of Jeremy to our little party…as long as we come to the meeting…unarmed,” Artie hesitantly relayed that last bit of information.

“Out of the question!”

“Hear me out, Colonel. He said WE had to be unarmed…he said nothing about our horses,” Artie grinned.

“Can you do something like that? Can you hide some of your famous ‘toys’ on a horse and still be able to access them quickly?”

“Colonel, there’s no place Artie can’t find to hide his inventions. If he says he’ll hide weapons for us, he’ll do it,” Jim replied full of confidence in his partner’s abilities.

“Very well then. Mr. Gordon, equip your horses with whatever you think you’ll need. I’m lifting the lab restriction, which I’m pretty sure you two broke already, while you do so. Mr. West, you and Mr. Pike do whatever else you can to prepare for tomorrow. And heaven help us all when President Grant finds out.”

The men left the table going their separate ways. Colonel Richmond returned to the desk and his work. Jim and Jeremy went to get some things they thought they might be able to sneak past Loveless. Artie had disappeared into his lab and no one had seen him come out in over two hours.

Jim was beginning to think he had pushed his partner’s skills beyond their limits when Artie emerged from his lab, his arms laden with items, some Jim didn’t even recognize as anything more than junk. Artie nodded to Jim when he asked if he had things under control. He declined his partner’s assistance and assured him he would call them once he had everything in place to show them how it all worked.

[Artiespet]

Artie worked his way to the stable car and deposited his load on some hay bales in the corner and went to work. He removed Jim’s saddlebags and was transferring the contents to a modified bag when something dropped to the floor. Artie bent over and picked it up examining the item. James, my boy, you are a sneaky little devil, Artie smiled as he put the packets of powders into the new saddlebag.

After Artie finished his work and he had demonstrated the objects to his fellow agents, Colonel Richmond suggested they all get some sleep as they three agents would need an early start and, he rather gently reminded James and Artemus that they still needed extra sleep, at which Artie rolled his eyes and Jim laughed. They went to their rooms and the train was quiet as snow began falling lightly outside.

As they made their way slowly through the heavily wooded area, the three agents didn’t dare talk and barely took the chance on breathing for fear of setting off one of Loveless; traps. As they passed a small grove of Sawtooth Oak trees Jim pulled his horse to a halt and dismounted. Black Jack had picked up an acorn and it was causing him trouble. Jim dug the acorn out of Black Jack’s shoe and, without a thought; he tossed it into a nearby bush. The bush exploded in a kaleidoscope of noise and color.

The bush and the surrounding area blew apart, sending bits and pieces of tree and bush in all directions. Jim ducked and Black Jack reared up on his hind legs, letting his master know he was not happy. Mesa bucked as well but Artie held on tight to her reins and was able to stay in the saddle. Jeremy had suffered a small cut to his left cheek, which was quickly dealt with.

“Either Loveless forgot about that one or he’s throwing a temper tantrum,” Artie commented as he patted Mesa’s neck.

“Care to bet on which?” Jim asked his partner with a smile.

“I’d bet on the little man’s temper any day. That nicey nice goody-two shoes front can’t last long. We better be very careful from here on out. And, Jim, it’s more than half a mile from that farmhouse…you know what that means.”

“Yeah, pal, I noticed that. It seems our friend may be getting a tad paranoid.”

“Yep, maybe we can make that work in our favor, what do you think?” Artie asked his partner.

“No wonder the Colonel thinks you two need keepers….” Jeremy laughed, “You two are certifiable!”

“When dealing with Loveless it helps,” Jim replied laughingly.

“Any advantage we can get over Loveless I’ll take any day,” Artie said and Jim nodded his head in agreement.

Finally the old farmhouse came into view and Jim stopped to check their direction. He pointed and Jeremy and Artie followed his lead. When they reached the yard area they dismounted and walked their steeds in. They tied their horses to a tree and walked to the house. As they ascended the porch steps the front door opened and Voltaire showed them in.

“Be ready for anything, gentlemen,” Artie whispered out of one corner of his mouth, “If Loveless is going to go back on his word this would be the time,”

“Now is a rotten time to tell me exactly what I was getting into, boys,” Jeremy replied as they cautiously entered the house.

“You wanted to be invited to one of Loveless’ little parties just sit back and enjoy the show,” Artie smirked.

“Welcome, to my humble abode, gentlemen,” Loveless said as he led the way to the parlor. He motioned for them to sit at the table.

“So, gentlemen, what news do you bring me?”

“The President said no to most of your demands…” Jim began tentatively.

“What? That’s absurd my demands are not that unreasonable.”

“Dr. Loveless,” Artie said, “not only are your demands unreasonable but they are outlandish and just plain stupid. If he conceded to even one of those demands every top level criminal in the country would be making demands.”

“Mr. Gordon, I sent those demands in good faith and if they are all going to be ignore then I am left with no choice but to rescind my earlier offer of hospitality.”

“Not so fast, Loveless,” Jim said, “we didn’t say he said no to ALL of your demands. He is willing to discuss the demand for your own accommodations.”

“I would be allowed my own cell block to be filled with whomever I chose from the prison population?” Loveless asked skeptically.

“Not exactly. But he is willing to give you your own cell in solitary confinement.”

“Oh how dare he! This is unacceptable…totally unacceptable!” Loveless was growing more and more agitated.

“Be ready guys,” Artie whispered, “he’s getting ready to explode.”

“Exploding is hardly what I would call it, Mr. Gordon. Rest assured I intend to send a very blatant message to President Grant. Voltaire…the room with them NOW!”

Before they could react Voltaire and several men converged upon them. Jim bolted out of his chair and kicked the nearest one in the chest, falling him like a tree. Jeremy struck his opponent and quickly became entangled with him. Artie backed up out of the way trying to get at the bag he had brought in. Voltaire snatched the bag out of his hands and threw it to one side, Loveless scurrying over to pick it up.

Artie looked at Voltaire and sighed, Why do I always get the big ones? He took a swing connecting solidly with his ribs. Voltaire merely glared at him as if he were an offending insect as he brought up one of his meat hook sized hands and grabbed Artie by the throat. Artie started swinging wildly at Voltaire’s arm trying to disengage his hand. Jim looked over and took in the scene. He quickly felled his opponent and jumped onto Voltaire’s back.

Jim started hitting and chopping at Voltaire until he loosed his grip on his partner, dropping Artie to the floor. Jim slid off and immediately shoved Voltaire away from the fray. Jeremy felled his opponent and started in on another one. Artie started swinging at the nearest man and soon all but three of Loveless’ henchmen were down. All activity stopped at the sound of a gunshot.

“Gentlemen, please!” Loveless shouted, “Let’s behave like the gentlemen you claim to be. All this fighting is pure nonsense. You won’t win anyway so why not save your energy for what is to come.”

“I told you not to trust the little runt, Jim,” Artie commented to his partner.

“Come now, Mr. Gordon, you should have known when you arrived with your pitiful terms that I would have no choice but to revert to my former nature.”

“Oh sure, blame the messenger for your unwillingness to cooperate,” Artie replied.

“Just as long as he doesn’t kill the messenger or in this case messengers, Artie,” Jim remarked snidely.

“Oh, Mr. West, how little you must think of me. I never intended to cause irreparable harm to you. Have I ever?”

“When haven’t you, Doctor? We just happen to be good enough to escape it most of the time.”

“Tsk…tsk…tsk…Mr. West you hurt my feelings with comments like that. Voltaire…you may take them to the room now I will be there shortly,” Loveless said harshly as he turned and left the room.

Voltaire produced a pistol, which he aimed at them, as did the other men. He herded the agents toward a door on the far side of the room. It led to a short hallway with a single door at the end. Voltaire motioned to the door and Artie opened it. The agents were shoved in like cattle. The door was locked behind them.

They examined the room carefully. It was indeed one of Loveless’ better efforts. And nothing like the room Jim and Artie had been in at the Asylum. This room more closely resembled a jail cell with a cot against one wall and a chair against another wall. Jim carefully checked the walls looking for any means of escape while Artie checked the ceiling and floor. Jeremy checked the door to see if they could get out but found it to be solidly built and the hinges were on the other side.

“Well, gentlemen,” Artie commented as he sat in the chair, “it looks like we’re going to be here for a while.”

“Sure looks that way, pal,” Jim replied.

“This door isn’t going to go anywhere anytime soon,” Jeremy capitulated.

“I wonder how long until Loveless makes his entrance?” Artie wondered.

“You need wonder no longer, Mr. Gordon,” Loveless’ voice filled the small room.

“Care to come out and show yourself, Loveless?” Artie asked.

“In due time, Mr. Gordon, in due time. First I want you to know I really didn’t want things to have come to this. Your President really should have conceded to my demands as they were trifling.”

“But since he did not and he is not here to face my wrath I am afraid it is you gentlemen who will have to take his place.”

“Oh joy, you hear that, Jim? Now we’re Grant’s stand-ins. What’s next? We get to trade places with Voltaire?” Artie quipped.

“Yeah, I hear, Artie. And I must say, Loveless, your parties are getting dull you need some new material,” Jim said to the walls.

“Artemus, James, what are you doing? Are you two sure goading him like this is wise?” Jeremy asked.

“Oh sure, Jeremy, we do this all the time. Loveless just loves our stunning rapier like wit, don’t you Doctor?” Artie asked the walls, smiling.

“Oh do shut up! One of these days, Mr. Gordon, I will have to silence that tongue of yours!”

“Promises, promises, Doctor. Always promises you never deliver on. You’ll have to do better than that if you want us to play along,” Artie smirked, knowing it was pushing Loveless toward the edge, and no doubt the unveiling of his plan.

“Mr. West I suggest you make your partner be quiet or none of you will like my actions!”

“Have we ever liked your actions, Doctor?” Jim asked.

“I have been very nice and hospitable up until now, Mr. West. Don’t push me or you’ll find out just how angry I can get!”

“James, Artemus, what are you doing?” Jeremy demanded.

“Relax, Jeremy,” Artie said, “we do this to him all the time. In fact if we didn’t do this he’d think we didn’t like him.”

“Yeah, Jeremy, he’d get positively ugly if we didn’t play the game correctly,” Jim spoke with a grin.

“That’s it! Voltaire bring me Mr. Pike!” Loveless shouted.

The door to the room opened and Voltaire stepped in followed by two more guards. They pulled Jeremy from the room and took him down the hall. Jim and Artie looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. Artie went to the bed and laid down and intertwined his fingers on across his chest and Jim sat in the chair.

“So, what do you think he’ll do to Jeremy?” Artie wondered.

“I have no idea. Usually he takes his anger out on one of us. This is a whole new ballgame.”

“Well, I guess we can just sit here and wait until Loveless makes his move,” Artie said.

Jeremy followed Voltaire while two men armed with guns brought up the rear. Voltaire stopped before a door and opened it, shoving Jeremy inside. He looked around and saw Loveless sitting at a desk with electronic equipment on it and a small opening into the room where Jim and Artie were still held. Jeremy crossed to the desk to confront Loveless, when he turned around.

“Mr. Pike I presume. Let’s hope you are not as hard headed as your compatriots. They will most assuredly pay for their latest insolence.”

“Dr. Loveless, they only came because you requested it. Colonel Richmond wasn’t going to let them come until they convinced him you would be a man of your word and release us,” Jeremy pled their case.

“Interesting. Mr. West and Mr. Gordon standing up for me! How delightful. But nevertheless I am tired of their insolent attitude and I am especially tired of that bothersome Mr. Gordon’s tongue,” Loveless spat as he twisted knobs on the machine before him.

“Doctor Love…”

“Mr. Pike, do not think that because I brought you here that you can try to talk your fellow agents out of facing my wrath. Quite the contrary, I brought you here to witness my dealings with those meddlers.”

“You will be allowed to leave when I am finished and you will take a full report back to your government and tell them how I gave Mr. West and Mr. Gordon every opportunity to play fair and they refused,” Loveless slid back the door to the opening and peer into the room.

“Even now they are being insufferable! They just sit and lay there waiting patiently for me to tell them what will happen next.”

“And this is a bad thing?” Jeremy asked not understanding how Loveless operated in the least.

“Of course it’s a bad thing! They are supposed to be trying to escape! They are supposed to be plotting to try and stop whatever plan they think I have! They are not playing fair and they know it!” Loveless shouted.

“But if they try and escape you told them they would face your wrath…isn’t that a double standard? Damned it they do…damned if they don’t so to speak?”

“Now you are getting the hang of my games with these two, Mr. Pike.”

“Do you feel that, Jim?” Artie asked as he slowly sat up.

“Feel what, Artie?”

“Vibration…feels like it’s coming from behind this wall. Loveless must have some sort of electrical equipment set up in the next room,” Artie replied as he rose and began to more closely inspect the wall. In the other room Loveless watched their progress with glee.

“See, Mr. Pike, what did I tell you? Now they are beginning to play the game in earnest. If there is one thing I can count on in my encounters with these two it is Mr. Gordon and his infinite curiosity.”

“Jim, if I could get into that room I could…” Artie began only to be cut off.

“You will not get into this room just yet, Mr. Gordon. Although it is nice to see your curiosity finally won out.”

“Ahh, you mean you don’t want to show us your fancy new toy and gloat before you use it?” Jim said.

“Frankly, Jim, I find that repulsive and insulting,” Artie commented.

“Oh I have an audience, gentlemen. You were so kind as to supply me with Mr. Pike and I assure you he will be watching every minute of what is to come.”

“See, Jim, I told you we should have left Jeremy home. Now Loveless has a stool pigeon you know what that means for us!”

“Oh, I assume it means that we both get to enjoy the good doctor’s special brand of fine hospitality, Artie. Maybe we’ll get the chance to show him some of our own.”

“Oh, do continue thinking that way, Mr. West. It will be of little comfort to you shortly but at least you will have something to think about,” Loveless snapped the window shut.

“Mr. Pike, I suggest you have a seat this is going to take a while,” Loveless motioned Pike over to a rather comfortable looking chair.

“Go on, sit. As I told Mr. West, I have nothing against you. You will be treated like a guest while I conduct my ‘conversations’ with Mr. West and Mr. Gordon.”

“A guest who isn’t allow to leave? How hospitable of you,” Jeremy snapped.

“Oh but of course not, Mr. Pike. I need a witness to my actions. Once my conversation with these two gentlemen is concluded you will be allowed to return to that fancy train and make your report.”

“And what about James and Artemus?”

“Oh, I am certain they will be in no shape to return with you,” Loveless grinned evilly as he swung his arms back and forth.

In his closer inspection of the wall, Artie found small wires leading from the base of the wall to the bed and a similar set of wires leading to the chair. He felt the wires and shook his head, Not good, these wires are vibrating…that means only one thing. Loveless has found a new way to play with electricity. Upon further inspection, he discovered the door had been wired as well as the window opening Loveless used to observe them. Jim sat in the chair silently watching his partner.

[Artiespet]

“James, I wouldn’t sit in that chair if I were you,” Artie told him, Jim jumped out of it quickly.

“Why not?”

“Our dear friend has the place wired. And unless I miss my guess he can send a nice little wake up call to just about any part of this room,” Artie replied as he continued to examine the room anew.

“You have never let me down yet, Mr. Gordon. I know I can count on you to find and explain my most challenging scenarios. My congratulations, Mr. Gordon.”

“Why thank you, doctor,” Artie replied with a bow, “A few questions if I may?”

“Ask away, Mr. Gordon.’

“You have the bed, chair, door and that little window wired with electricity correct?”

“Correct, Mr. Gordon. Do go on.”

“Am I right in assuming that should we try to escape from the door or that window we’ll be electrocuted?”

“Right again, Mr. Gordon! You are the brightest of the pair, I must say.”

“Why the chair and the bed?”

“Come, now, Mr. Gordon…don’t let me down when you were doing so well.”

“My guess would be some form of torture. But knowing you if we can’t sleep in the chair or bed why not take things one step further…wire the entire room?”

“Artemus! Don’t give this madman any ideas!” Artie heard Jeremy shout.

“Hello, Jeremy! Loveless is treating you well, I hope?”

“Yes, Artemus, I’m fine. But you two…”

“Can handle anything that Loveless throws our way don’t worry about us. You just do whatever it is he tells you and you might get out of this alive.” Jim interjected.

“Oh I have no intentions of harming your Mr. Pike. He is my witness, after all, that I have played by the rules.”

“Loveless you couldn’t play by the rules if we handed you a playbook,” Jim smarted off as he leaned against the chair.

Hearing a growl of disgust from Loveless, Artie moved away from the door and turned around in time to see his partner’s face twist in agony. Jim tried desperately to release his hold on the chair as hundreds of volts of electricity shot through him, but he found he couldn’t get his fingers to cooperate.

Artie ran over to him grabbing his free arm and with his foot he kicked the chair away and pulled Jim at the same time finally breaking his hold on the chair. They toppled to the floor, Jim writhing in pain and Artie trying to absorb the fall. Artie gently eased Jim off of him and turned him over. He noted the burn mark on his partner’s hand and tore a piece of his shirt off and wrapped it around the wound. Jim’s body finally stopped convulsing and he slowly opened his eyes.

“That was a nasty thing to do, Loveless,” Jim said between tightly clenched teeth.

“Nasty is as nasty does, Jim. I told you he couldn’t handle being nice for too long. I’m surprised he’s lasted this long,” Artie said as he helped his partner to a sitting position.

“That was just a warning, gentlemen. The next time it will be much more severe. I suggest that in the future you refrain from such behavior.”

“Pal, I don’t think we want to see what worse than that would be. I feel like my teeth are ready to march out that door,” Jim told Artie.

“Yeah, well, like I said…I have a score to settle with that little runt and if I get the chance he’ll get a little dose of his own medicine,” Artie whispered to him.

“It’s not nice to try and keep secrets, gentlemen. You wouldn’t want me to fill the room with my little electric friends now would you?”

“Loveless, if you could do that you no doubt would have the second you removed Jeremy from the room. Idle threats are meaningless.” Artie snapped at him.

“Mr. West, do I detect a bit of ire in Mr. Gordon’s tone? That would not be very hospitable.”

“Dr. Loveless,” Artie began angrily, “you can call it whatever you like. I’m sick of playing your games and quite frankly I’m getting sick and tired of you!” Artie shouted as he took a seat on the end of the bed, his back turned toward Loveless.

Jim thought Artie had lost his mind when he saw his partner tearing something off he bottom of his fringed riding jacket. Artie tied the piece of cloth around the bed frame and, keeping his back strategically between him and the window, he removed one of the laces on the side of the jacket. Picking up on what he was doing, Jim stood and moved between Artie and the window giving his partner room to work out whatever plan he had.

Artie went over to the door, dangling the lace from his jacket, and tied the other end to the doorknob, making a show of trying the locked door again. Now comes the hard part, Artie thought, I’ve got to get Loveless to activate that electrical charge to the door so I can get a spark to ignite that line without getting Jim or myself fried like Sunday chicken. Artie turned his attention once again to their diminutive host.

“Tell me something, Doctor,” Artie said slowly as he waved his head toward his partner indicating for him to get out of the way and motioning with his eyes, “what would happen if an overload were somehow caused in your little machine?”

“What are you getting at, Mr. Gordon. You of all people know what would happen.”

“For argument’s sake let’s say I don’t,” Artie said as he produced a match and held it near the doorknob, Jim watched in confusion trying to detect his partner’s plan BEFORE it blew up in their faces.

‘Oh very well, Mr. Gordon I’ll play along. Should an overload in that room occur it could very well set off a chain reaction throughout the house setting off the main defenses below the house. But something tells me you already knew that,” Loveless snapped.

“Just wanted to make sure,” Artie said.

“Artemus, what are you up to?” he heard Jeremy shout, “You’re still on leave…”

“I know, Jeremy and I assure you I’m only up to what is expected of me.”

“Whatever it is you think you are up to, Mr. Gordon, I assure you I am one step ahead of you,” Loveless said.

“Oh, I bet you think you are, too. But as my Great Aunt Maude always used to say…Artemus, when you can’t beat em and you can’t join em find a way to make em sit up and take notice!” Jim’s head snapped up at the mention of Artie’s factitious Aunt, a sure sign he was up to something.

“Jim, get ready, when sparks fly and I get this door open…run like hell,” Artie whispered.

“Artie, whatever you’ve got planned…it won’t get your hurt will it?”

“Not if I can help it.”

“NOW, Jim!” Artie shouted as he lit the match and held it to the lace jerking on the door as he did so.

The lace erupted in a shower of sparks following the line down to the bed. The sheer power running through the line caused the bed to leap from the floor: sparks and feathers from the bed flying everywhere. Artie yanked on the door and tore it open; glad he had been correct in his assumption that the connection between the bed and door would send most of the electricity to the bed and not into him. He flexed his hand and whipped it back and forth to restore feeling after having been the channeling device for all that current, My ribs may never speak to me again, Artie thought as he looked through the light show for his partner.

He pushed Jim through the door and into the hall. Artie knew he had to hurry before Loveless could activate any of the room’s other electrical defenses so he pushed the chair over next to the bed and used the other lace to quickly and loosely tie them together in what he hoped would cause a looped chain reaction in whatever core device Loveless was using to maintain the electrical current.

There, that ought to create just enough tension and back lash to set the whole contraption into overload. I only hope Loveless is as insane as I think he is and that he’ll take Jeremy with him when he runs. Artie turned and ran from the room to join his partner, trying to ignore the heavy vibrations flowing through his body.

“We better run, Jim! If I’m right, we don’t have long before this whole house goes up!” Artie said as he and his partner headed for the end of the hall.

“This is not fair!” Loveless could be heard shouting.

“Voltaire, grab Mr. Pike. We must leave here at once. I will never forgive Mr. Gordon for destroying yet another of my lairs. He will pay for this if it’s the last thing I do!” Loveless shouted as Voltaire pulled Jeremy from his seat and pushed him toward the door while grabbing Loveless and hoisting him up on his shoulder.

Jim and Artie ran outside and toward the horses, glad to see that Loveless hadn’t bothered to move them yet. Jim vaulted onto Black Jack and grabbed the reins of Jeremy’s horse and Mesa’s as well as he watched Voltaire leading Jeremy out of the building with Loveless on his shoulder. He watched transfixed as his partner stopped on the porch and took something out of his pocket, he appeared to be setting some kind of mechanism, and he carefully tossed it back into the house.

“Come on, Artie!” Jim shouted, “This place is going to blow…we gotta get out of here!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming! Artie shouted as he descended the porch steps.

As Artie ran toward his horse, the bomb he had tossed into the house erupted and the house shattered and splintered in a million directions, plumes of billowing fire and smoke rising high into the air. Jim pulled hard on Black Jack’s reins and held tightly onto the other horses. He stared in disbelief as what was left of the house slowly began to make its descent back to earth raining down on them. Jim pulled his arms up to protect himself from the falling debris.

Artie had thankfully been running away from the house when the force of the blast reached him, throwing him unceremoniously to the ground. He covered his head with his arms and lay there as the burning debris dropped like bricks from the sky. A few pieces of the burning material landed on his back, scorching him. Artie winced and shook them off so he wouldn’t catch fire. He twisted around to look at the house and shook his head. There really wasn’t much of the house left. Thinking quickly he rose and ran as quickly as he could toward his partner, holding his arm tightly across his chest. One…two…three! Artie thought to himself.

“Run, Jim!” Artie shouted as he dived behind the watering trough when he realized his counting had been off.

There wasn’t time to think, Jim merely acted on his partner’s command and he put his heels to his horse’s side making him dart forward. He turned in the saddle to look back and saw the remains of the house explode with a force he had never seen before. Dirt, debris, remnants of the house as well as surrounding flora and fauna went up in a shower of sparks, flames shrapnel and a billowing cloud of dark, black smoke.

Several more small explosions rocked the area, sending the horses into a frenzy. It was all Jim could do to maintain his hold on their reins. He looked toward the trough to see how his partner had fared and his jaw dropped. The trough was gone! He quickly scanned the area and saw his partner sprawled beside the barn. Jim quieted the horses, quickly dismounted and ran over to his partner.

“Artie!” Jim shouted as he ran toward his partner.

“I’m all right, Jim,” Artie said waving off his partner’s concerned look, “I knew that was going to happen I just did my one two threes a little slow,” Artie said as he pulled himself to a sitting position, trying to hide his wince.

“Are you sure, pal? That was some explosion!” Jim knelt next to him.

“Yeah, Jim. I tossed one of my little bombs in there to make good and sure that basement blew. I didn’t want Loveless to be able to come back here later and salvage anything,” Artie replied breathlessly as he winced.

“You’re hurt. We need to get you back to the train,” Jim said helping him to his feet.

“Nothin doin, Jim. We need to get after Loveless…he has Jeremy!,” Artie groaned as he stood.

“Artie, you’re in no condition to ride a horse!” Jim tried to reason with him.

“And Jeremy will be in no shape at all if we don’t get after them. Think about it, Jim. What is the first thing Loveless would do if that were you or me he still had in his clutches?”

“He’d probably…” Jim let the sentence trail off.

“Precisely. Let’s not waste time arguing the fine points…let’s just go get our friend.”

Jim carefully helped Artie mount Mesa and he grabbed Jeremy’s horse’s reins and jumped on Black Jack. Tracks were hard to spot in the aftermath of the explosion but finally after much searching Jim was able to locate their tracks and they headed off.

WWWWWWWWWW

“Voltaire, deposit our friend over there,” Loveless said as he pointed to a corner.

Voltaire dumped Jeremy in the corner and tightly bound his hands and feet. He stood by watching Loveless for any orders he might have. Loveless was pacing back and forth furiously, muttering to himself. All Jeremy could make out were the words Artemus, Gordon, and trouble. Oh boy, what did we get ourselves into? Jeremy wondered as he began to try to loosen his ropes.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jim and Artie followed the tracks until they lost them in the darkness. Tracking was harder when they also had to keep an eye out for anymore of Loveless’ little devices but so far they had managed to dismantle every one they had come across. They dismounted and Jim tied the horses to a line and tied the line to a couple of trees. He suggested Artie get a fire going while he took care of the horses. Jim kept one eye on his friend as he worked.

Artie crouched on his haunches and got a fire going. He started some coffee and scrounging around in the saddlebags, muttering under his breath for the one they lost in the confusion of the explosion, found the food, It’s not what I wanted but I can make it work, Artie thought as he started the business of making supper. He was acutely aware of his partner’s gaze following his every move. He tried to put on his best face when in reality all he wanted to do was scream. The burning bits of house that had fallen on him had singed his back in several places and Artie tried to ignore it as he went about the task of getting the camp ready.

Once they had camp set up Jim approached his partner with a canteen, a shirt he had torn up for bandages and a sour look on his face that was mixed with concern. Jim stood quietly not sure how to approach the subject at hand.

“I told you I’m fine, Jim, you don’t need to stare a hole in my back,” Artie told his worried friend grumpily.

“I know what you said, Artie. But I know what I see. If you won’t listen to reason and go back to the train at least let me clean up your back,” Jim replied as he sat down and began to peel Artie’s jacket off.

“Ahhh…” Artie hissed when Jim pulled his jacket from his back, “try and leave me SOME skin will ya?”

“Sorry, Artie. Your back got cut up pretty good.”

“Yeah, well, apparently you haven’t been paying attention to yourself, pal,” Artie said stubbornly as he pointed to Jim’s forearms.

“When I’m done playing doctor then you can have a turn,” Jim smiled trying to lighten the mood.

Jim carefully wiped the cuts on his partner’s back mindful of what he was sure were more broken ribs and he worked quickly as the temperature was dropping rapidly. After he tended to the cuts on Artie’s back Jim demanded to check on his partner’s ribs. He was both astonished and angered when he saw the new bruises and heard his partner’s quick intake of breath at the slightest touch.

After he finished Jim grudgingly allowed his partner to administer to his wounds that until then he had not even noticed. He had several pieces of shrapnel embedded in his right arm and his left had been slightly singed. Artie painstakingly cleaned each and every cut then wrapped them with strips from one of their extra shirts. He was careful to avoid coming into eye contact with his partner, something that wasn’t lost on Jim.

“Artie…we need to get you back to the train,” Jim implored.

“No, Jim, I’m not leaving Jeremy in Loveless’ clutches. It’s our fault he’s even here. And we both know what Loveless is capable of…I just won’t do it,” Artie replied stubbornly, he took in his partner’s concerned looks and his tone softened.

“Besides, there just isn’t time. By the time we got back to the train and you brought the cavalry back lord only know where Loveless would have gone to or what he would have done to Jeremy.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right, Uncle Artie’s always right,” Artie smiled trying to lighten his own mood, “now go get some of those powders from your saddlebags that you tried to hide from me. We could both use them,” Artie winked.

“Artie…how’d…”

“I just knew, Jim. You wouldn’t want me to give away all my secrets would you?” Artie replied.

[Artiespet]

Loveless waited impatiently for his henchman to return. His pacing was beginning to annoy Jeremy but he wisely kept quiet. He figured he could learn more about any plans Loveless may have by keeping his wits about him and remaining quiet. The door opened and a man stomped into the room, shaking snow off as he entered.

“Well?” Loveless asked impatiently.

“We found em boss. Just like you said they was tailin us.”

“Were…it’s were you simpleton. Where are they now?” Loveless asked.

“They stopped trackin for the night. Guess it got too dark fer them ta see. They’s over by the grove of oaks over by the old Peterson place.”

“I see. Voltaire, why don’t you make Mr. Pike here a bit more comfortable? I think I see a lengthy conversation between him and your fists before morning,” Loveless grin matched Voltaire’s as he left the room.

WWWWWWWWWW

Artie lay on his back contemplating the stars, grateful that the snow had finally stopped falling, listening to the sounds in the snow blanketed forest around them. He was struggling to maintain a steady even pattern to his breathing knowing Jim was lying on the other side of the fire straining to hear. God, I hurt, Artie thought, I hurt in places I didn’t know I had. If Loveless so much as touches one hair on Jeremy’s head I’ll find a way to make him pay. Artie was so wrapped up in his thoughts he failed to notice his partner rise up above the flames to look at him, wincing at his own pain as he did so.

“Artie…why don’t you take another powder…we have plenty left. Just because I don’t need one…”

“No, Jim we don’t know what shape Jeremy will be in when we get to him. He may need them more than either of us. Let’s save them for him,” came Artie’s strained reply.

“You sure, pal? Even a blind man could see you’re in pain. All this riding and tracking isn’t doing you any good…heck for all I know it’s hurting you more.”

“I’ll be okay, Jim. There’s not much we can do about it. Why don’t we just get some sleep and see how things are in the morning?”

Jim knew when his partner was telling him enough was enough and when he was being blown off so he laid down and pulled his blanket up and settled in to sleep. He waited to hear his partner’s breathing even out indicating he had fallen asleep but as he drifted off to sleep himself Jim didn’t recall hearing any change in his partner’s breathing.

Artie lay there looking up at the night sky long after Jim had fallen asleep. Even as dead tired as he was, Artemus couldn’t stop thinking about their current situation. He had no idea why this had him so upset and why he was ready to battle Satan himself just to get a crack at putting Loveless behind bars. Finally after several hours of mulling the topic over he drifted off into a restless sleep.

WWWWWWWWWW

Loveless had decided he needed an outlet for his frustration and he had decided Jeremy was to be it. He had Jeremy tied to a chair and allowed Voltaire to ‘interrogate’ him. The beating lasting long into the night even after Loveless had grown bored and gone to bed.

When Voltaire had finished and left Jeremy in the room alone, Jeremy’s head slumped against his chest, blood flowing from his split lip, several cuts and contusions on his face. His breathing was raspy and uneven. Guys, I sure hope you find me soon, Jeremy thought, I don’t know how much more of this I can endure. Jeremy fell into a deep sleep.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jim woke with a start and immediately regretted moving so quickly. He hurt from head to toe and felt like he had been used as a battering ram. He gingerly sat up and took in his surroundings. The fire had died down some time ago, the embers not even smoking. On the other side of the fire lay his partner.

Jim took in his appearance and was dismayed. It appeared Artie wasn’t sleeping as well as Jim would have liked. He must have rebroken some of his ribs, oh the doc is gonna love that! Jim guessed as he watched the shallow, uneven rise and fall of his partner’s chest.

He rose quietly and went to his partner’s side and knelt beside him. Artie’s face looked somewhat flushed and his breathing was indeed raspy and uneven. Damn, he needs to be back at the train and under a doctor’s care. How the hell am I going to convince him I’m right? Jim thought.

“Give it up, partner, I’m NOT going back to the train without Jeremy,” Artie said vehemently as he pushed his blanket off.

“Morning, pal, and didn’t your mother ever teach you it isn’t nice to read other people’s thoughts?”

“I just know my partner. And he’s wrong…dead wrong.”

“Artie, you’re in no condition to continue,” Jim tried to reason with him.

“And neither are you, Jim. Your arms can’t make for very comfortable riding.”

“My arms are not your ribs, pal. Look, I know there’s no time to get you back to the train but what if I left you here just while I scouted around,” Jim tried.

“No it would waste too much time. Jeremy needs us…okay he needs you…I won’t be much help to you in a fight. But I can go along and do as much as I can.”

Jim saw this was getting him nowhere so he agreed and helped Artie up. They cleaned up their campsite and him saddled the horses while Artie broke down camp, getting angry glares from his partner when a stray moan or groan escaped. Once they had everything cleared away and Jim again found tracks they could follow he helped Artie mount Mesa and he shook his head in dismay when he noted that Artie leaned forward in the seat, almost hunched over.

“Jim, look over there…” Artie pointed off into the forest.

“Tracks that don’t belong to you or me.”

“Damn, Loveless knows where we are and he knows we’re following him,” Artie said tersely.

“That means he’ll know when we’re coming and from which direction.”

“Well, James, ever since this whole mess started you wanted to get a work out…I think you’ll get your chance.”

“Not quite what I had in mind but I’ll make do,” Jim smiled.

“Well, when the time comes I just may have some surprises in store for Dr. Miguelito Loveless. Artemus Gordon still has an ace or two up his sleeve,” Artie winked at Jim as he prodded Mesa forward.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jeremy slowly opened his eyes to see Loveless patiently waiting for him to wake. He stared at him as best he could through swollen eyes. He glared at Loveless who only smiled.

“My dear, Mr. Pike, how very unfriendly of Mr. West and Mr. Gordon to have left you to my amusement. You really should be very angry with them.”

“James and Artemus will take care of the situation,” Jeremy spat.

“I would not be so sure of that if I were you, Mr. Pike. I have been informed they are a bit worse for wear. It seems they wanted to make sure they completely destroyed my house before headed out looking for you.”

“What have you done to them?”

“Me? I have done nothing to them, Mr. Pike. Surely you can not think to hold me accountable for any injuries they may have suffered after I had left the farmhouse.”

“Dr. Loveless I hold you responsible for everything that’s happened and my report to President Grant will reflect that.”

“Oh that is too bad…too bad indeed. I had so hoped that you would see things more clearly by this morning…apparently I was mistaken. Voltaire it seems Mr. Pike here is in need of further convincing. Please carry on, I’ll be in the other room awaiting the arrival of our friends Mr. West and Mr. Gordon,” Loveless said as he jumped down from the chair and left the room.

WWWWWWWWWW

As they neared what they believed to be Loveless’ new hideout, they dismounted and walked the rest of the way, not wanting the horses to give away their presence. Jim looked at his partner sadly, Damnit, why does Artie seem hell bent on running himself into the ground just for a chance to nail Loveless? Jim thought. Artie could feel Jim’s dagger look piercing into him and did his best not to notice.

“How many men do you count, Jim?” Artie whispered.

“I see three outside and when the door opened I saw at least two more inside.”

“That’s what I saw too. That means at least 5 men plus Voltaire. Think you can take a couple of them?”

“What do you have in mind?” Jim asked not sure he wanted to know.

“If we can even up the odds a little I think I can get us in that house. It’ll be noisy but that should be the diversion I need to sneak in and get Jeremy out.”

“Wait just a damned minute, Artie. YOU sneak in there and get Jeremy out? What makes you think I’ll let you do that?”

“You’ll be busy being the distraction,” Artie grinned.

“No way, pal. That’s way too risky.”

“No, Jim it’s easy with this…” Artie gestured to a goatskin flask he was carrying.

“What’s that?”

“Just a little sleeping gas I cooked up.”

“That’s what took you so long in your lab.”

“Yeah but you have to be face to face to administer it. I didn’t have time to cook up a proper batch. You keep the guys out front busy and I’ll slip inside.”

“What about Loveless and Voltaire you can’t take them on by yourself?”

“I’m hoping you won’t have that much trouble with these guys after all there are ONLY three of them,” Artie winked at his partner.

Jim rolled his eyes and waited until his partner had worked his way around to the other side of the men. Then he simply stood up and walked right up to them, startling them.

“Hi, I think Dr. Loveless is expecting me,” Jim stated as he grinned at the men.

They continued to stare opened mouthed at him so Jim approached the nearest man and started swinging. Caught off guard, the man fell over backward, knocking down one of his fellow guards. Man is it me or do Loveless’ henchmen get dumber every time? Jim thought as he punched one man in the jaw. He knocked another man over the railing and bent to scoop up a broken piece when one of the men kicked him in the ribs.

Jim grunted and swung the piece of railing upward like a club, solidly connecting with the man. He barreled into him, tackling him to the ground. He looked up and saw his partner sneak into the house. Jim grinned as he began to fight in earnest, felling his first opponent easily then turning to meet the other two.

Inside the house, Artie quietly approached the two men in the hallway, his goatskin flask at the ready. The men started when they saw him casually walking down the hall and rushed him. Before they could get their hands on him, Artie squeezed the flask and a plume of bright red smoke emerged hitting them in the face. They staggered back coughing and slowly crumpled to the floor. Artie pulled his jacket away from his face and waved his arm to clear the air of the offending smoke.

“Philistines,” Artie remarked as he clicked his tongue against his teeth and continued cautiously down the hall.

Jim ducked then thrust his fist into his opponent’s stomach, doubling him over. He chopped his neck and his assailant fell to the ground. He turned on the last guard and grinned. The guard returned his grin as he advanced. They circled each other, Jim glad for the long overdue workout he was getting. He grabbed his opponent by his shirt and flipped him over his head, both men landing on their backs. Jim rolled over and planted his fist in the guard’s throat. The guard made a gurgling sound and his face turned red.

He grabbed Jim’s arm and twisted, causing him to wince and groan as he felt something snap. Jim brought his other hand down heavily onto the guard’s chest, knocking the wind out of him. Jim slammed his fist into the guard’s face time and time again until the guard lost consciousness. Man, this feels good, Jim thought as he pushed up from the guard and headed towards the house and his partner, cradling his injured left arm.

He entered the house and looked around. He didn’t see his partner but he did find the two fallen guards. He stepped over them and proceeded down the hall. When he reached the corner he peered cautiously around it and saw his partner in front of one of the doors.

Artie was leaning on the door, his face a mask of concentration, his forehead resting on the door. Jim padded down the hall noiselessly, coming up behind his friend. He tapped him on the shoulder and Artie jumped.

“What the…!” Artie spun around and instinctively swung, his arm contacting Jim’s injured arm, making him hiss.

“Jim! You nearly gave me a heart attack,” Artie reproached, Jim noted his shallow breathing and fine sheen of sweat on his brown.

“You okay, pal?” Jim asked.

“I was doing just great until you scared me out of a few years of my life!” Artie whispered, “What happened to you?”

“I played diversion so you could sneak in and get Jeremy out remember?”

“I said create a diversion not become a walking advertisement for a doctor’s office,” Artie grinned at him.

“I’ve had an off week…so sue me. You sure you’re ok?” Jim scrutinized his partner.

“Yeah, I’m good…just having a bit of trouble with Loveless’ new locks these seem to run on some sort of electrical current. I’m pretty sure this is the room they’re holding Jeremy in. I almost have this lock picked,” Artie replied as he turned his attention back to the lock.

Jim moved to the opposite side of his partner to get a view of the lock. Artie had placed one of his inventions over the lock and was trying to turn a key on the device. Finally the key turned and Artie reached for the doorknob. Jim grabbed his hand and stopped him.

“How do you know Jeremy’s in there?”

“I saw Voltaire come out with his hat and gun belt, so I figure this is where they are holding him,”


“Are you sure it’s safe?”
“Yeah, I tested it. This is the ONLY damn knob not electrified,” Artie snarled.

“And you know this because…?”

“Every other doorknob in this hall and that hall over there were vibrating hard enough to make my teeth chatter when I touched them and a couple were hot!”

“Hot? What do you mean hot?”

“I got an electrical shock, okay? My guess would be that Loveless has wired every damn door in this place BUT the one’s he using to throw us off track. Can we just go in and get Jeremy and get the hell out of here? Unless you’d care to go looking for Voltaire first and ask his permission?” Artie grinned.

“No that’s okay, lead the way, partner.”

Artie turned the doorknob and gently eased the door open. He stuck his head inside and looked around. The sight appalled him. Huddled in a corner he saw Jeremy. He leaned back out and nodded to Jim and they entered the room. They quickly ran over to Jeremy and looked down at him.

Jeremy’s face was covered in dried blood; his hair caked with it. He had a split lip, contusions and bruises on his face. Artie gently shook him. Jeremy stirred and opened his eyes. He looked at Jim and Artie for a minute before speaking.

“James? Artemus?” Jeremy whispered.

“Yeah, we’re here to get you out. Can you walk?” Artie asked.

“Walk? Heck, get me outside and I’ll run!” Jeremy pulled himself up the wall.

They crept toward the door and Jim peered out. There was no movement in the hall. He pulled the door open and they cautiously entered the hall. They made their way down the hall and rounded the corner. The guards Artie had dealt with still lay unconscious on the floor. They stepped over the bodies and continued on. When they reached the front door Jim assured Artie he had left it open when he entered. The guards Jim had dealt with were nowhere in sight. They left the house and started across the yard toward the trees where they had hidden their horses.

“Jim, you take Jeremy and head for the horses…I’m going to take care of something,” Artie said as he released his hold on Jeremy.

“No way, pal. We all go or none of us goes,” Jim replied sternly.

“Jim, I have a little surprise in this saddlebag for Loveless. I’ll be right behind you. Go…get Jeremy out of here and get Mesa ready for me,” Artie didn’t give him time to argue as he turned and went back into the house.

Jim stared after his partner for a second then headed toward the horses, not sure if he was supporting Jeremy or if it was the other way around. He felt tired and spent and his arm was throbbing. They reached the horses and Jim helped Jeremy onto his. Jim handed him the reins and grabbed Mesa’s reins. They sat waiting for Artemus to emerge from the house. Damn you, Artie! Why did you have to go back in? Why couldn’t you just leave Loveless to the Army?

Artie quietly made his way through the house, a man on a mission. I’m coming for you, Loveless, and come hell or high water you’re mine! Artie thought as he stole through the house, checking room after room in search of his prey. He put his hand on the doorknob in front of him…Bingo! This one wasn’t electrified.

“Loveless has to be in here, it stands to reason he would only electrify the doors he wasn’t using. I’ve got you now you little weasel,” Artie whispered as he removed the two pouches from the saddlebag.

[Artiespet]

He opened the pouches and carefully mixed the contents, careful not to inhale any. He tossed aside the saddlebag and the empty pouch. Artie carefully opened the door and looked in. Loveless had his back to the door, turning dials and flipping switches on the machine in front of him.

Artie crept up behind him, reached into the bag and removed a handful of the powder. He opened his hand and brought it up to his face and just as he prepared to blow the substance at Loveless a set of very powerful arms clasped around his chest from behind and began to squeeze.

Artie flung some of the powder behind him, hoping to stave off his attacker. It had little or no effect as the strong arums did not falter in their vice grip-like hold on him. Struggling to breathe, Artie tried tossing the remaining powder in his hand at Loveless. The little man sidestepped Artie’s clumsy throw and pulled on the end of the big machine and a door opened. Loveless squeezed himself inside and closed it behind him.

Artie brought his left arm up as high as he could and brought it back down swinging his elbow into what he was now positive had to be Voltaire’s ribs. For a split second the vice grip intensified, causing Artie to see stars, then the arms disengaged and Artie was spun around to face Voltaire.

“Hi ya, Voltaire!” Artie smiled, “Your boss didn’t stick around to help you out so why don’t you take his lead and be a good little ogre and vamoose?” Voltaire glared at him and advanced on him.

“Oh well, it was worth a shot,” Artie sighed.

He reached over and grabbed the chair Loveless had been standing on and held it between himself and Voltaire. Artie shoved it in Voltaire’s direction. Voltaire brought a large hand down on the chair, smashing it into kindling. Artie still held the back of the chair in his hands. He lifted it up and brought it crashing down on his head. Good thing he’s bent over of this would never work, Artie thought as he repeatedly hit Voltaire over the head with the chair back finally splitting it in two.

Just then the door swung open and Jim burst through. Taking in the scene he acted quickly, chopping Voltaire in the neck and kicking him in the back, sending his unconscious form flying into Artie, knocking them both to the floor. Artie tried in vain to move the mountain of a man off his chest. Jim grabbed Voltaire and pulled him off and dumped him on the floor. Artie lay writhing in pain on the floor.

“Artie!” Jim rushed to his side, “You okay, pal?” he asked as he helped him to a sitting position.

“Yeah, Jim. Loveless got away. You know what that means…we’re in BIG trouble when we get back,” Artie panted as he pointed to the end of the machine.

“There’s an opening…through there. Loveless went inside when I tried to get him.”

“Forget him, we’ve got Voltaire so we won’t be going home empty handed. We gotta get you back to the train.”

“We better tie him up first,” Artie gestured toward the unconscious giant.

Jim ran out and brought back the rope from his horse. They tied Voltaire up, making sure to leave enough rope to lead him. Jim realized they had a problem on their hands…how to get this motley crew back to the train. They only had three horses and none of them was in any real shape to travel let alone guard a man like Voltaire. Since they had no horse for him Jim decided he would have to walk back to the train.

He splashed some water on Voltaire’s face and pointed a gun he had taken from one of the guards in his face. Voltaire just glared at him but otherwise made no move to struggle or get away.

“We can do this the easy way, Voltaire, or we can do this the hard way. And just to let you know…I’m in no mood to do things the hard way,” Jim glared at him.

“Easy,” Voltaire said as he shrugged his shoulders, he seemed to have lost his fight without his boss around.

“Artie, you wanna stay here for the night and set out for the train first thing in the morning?” Jim asked his partner.

“Nah, those other guards and Loveless might have left but that doesn’t mean they won’t be back…unless…” Artie winked at Jim.

“You’ve got a point there, pal, come on, Voltaire…get up and let’s get going.”

“Artie what does unless mean?”

“Nothing…much,” Artie said as he grinned at his partner.

Artie placed one of his devices on the big machine and set it. He told Jim they had better hurry as he only gave them a minute or so. Jim shoved Voltaire toward the door and out of the house. He tied one end of Voltaire’s rope to his saddle horn and helped Artie up into his saddle. They set out in the direction of the train and had only gone a short distance when their ears picked up the sounds of yet another of Loveless’ lairs going up in smoke. Voltaire glared and Jim and Artie smiled while Jeremy merely shook his head…if he lived to be a hundred Jeremy felt he would never understand these two.

Artie prodded his horse forward followed by Jeremy with Jim bringing up the rear, Voltaire walking in front of his horse. After several hours, Jim looked at his companions, seeing they were far worse for the wear, he called out to Artie that it was time to stop and make camp.

Jim and Jeremy dismounted near a small clearing and Jim handed Voltaire’s line to Jeremy while he tied off the horses and unsaddled them. He looked over and noticed Artie had not dismounted.

“Artie?” Jim asked, his voice full of concern.

“I can’t get down, Jim,” Artie told him.

Before anyone could stop him, Voltaire reached up and pulled Artie from his saddle, gently setting him on the ground. Jim and Jeremy stared open mouthed at him as he steadied Artie, who took the offered help in stride and thanked him.

They set about the task of making camp before darkness fell. Jeremy gathered firewood and Jim helped Artie start a fire and prepare dinner. They were all too tired for conversation and Jim found he was kind of enjoying the quiet in a weird sort of way. He suggested they take turns on watch on the off chance that Loveless or his henchmen had followed them and to keep an eye on Voltaire. Jim just glared and shook his head when Artie volunteered to take the first watch.

“You, pal, can consider yourself off duty until we reach the train,” Jim told him.

Artie sighed and leaned back against his saddle and was asleep in moments. Jim watched his friend and even in sleep it was apparent he was in pain. Partner, you are something else. When we get back to the train you’ll have a lot of explaining to do. We all will…we’ll be lucky if the Colonel doesn’t fire us, Jim thought, Jeremy has bruised ribs, cuts and scrapes and Lord knows what else, my arm is quite probably broken, and you, pal…don’t even get me started on you. I’d be surprised if you have any ribs left that AREN’T broken. Man that doctor is gonna have our hides for this. Jim dished up the food, telling Jeremy to get Artie sleep. They ate in silence before Jim handed a plate to Jeremy and asked him to feed Voltaire. He didn’t want to risk untying him to let him feed himself.

Jeremy helped Voltaire eat then cleaned the plate and put it away. I wonder what he’s up to? Jeremy thought, he could very easily take us but he just sits there staring at the ground. And I know how he feels about Artemus so why help him? Jeremy just shook his head. Jim insisted on taking the first watch so Jeremy settled down by the fire and poked at it with a stick. He finally fell asleep listening to the coyotes howl.

Morning dawned clear, crisp and cold. Jeremy, who had had last watch, kept the fire going and had started a pot of coffee. Jim woke and checked on the horses and Voltaire. His partner, who had not stirred since the previous evening, finally woke. Straining to sit up, Jim rushed to his side and helped him. Artie mumbled his thanks and gratefully reached for the steaming cup Jeremy offered. He sipped the hot brew and took in their little group. They all looked like they had been in a battle…even Voltaire had bruises on top of his bruises. When Jeremy asked who wanted breakfast all heads shook no.

“Can’t we just head back to the train? It won’t take us too long to get there and I’m sure Richmond will have the Army out looking for us if we’re not back soon,” Artie rolled his eyes and smirked.

“Are you in that big a hurry to get back to what I am sure will become an extended suspension, pal?” Jim teased his partner.

“No, but it sure beats what will happen if the Colonel comes looking for us,” Artie smiled back.

“You do have a point there. All right, let’s head out then.”

The train loomed on the horizon as noon was approaching. To the weary travelers the train never looked so good. Jeremy slowed his pace and allowed Jim to come up beside him. He nodded toward the train where they spotted someone standing on the ‘porch’. Jim and Jeremy traded knowing glances. Colonel Richmond, it had to be. And by the looks of it he was not happy. A small group of soldiers scurried from around the back of the train and rode toward them.

The group slowed to allow the soldiers to reach them. Jim gladly relinquished their prisoner and fell in line with the soldiers when he was told they were to consider themselves escorted back under guard.

“How’s the Colonel’s mood?” Jim asked the soldier next to him.

“May I be frank, sir?”

“By all means.”

“His mood is…well…surly, sir. He’s so mad he could chew iron and spit nails. Just what did ya’ll do to him, sir?” The soldier asked.

“We just keep being ourselves, soldier. As long as you stay out of his way, the Colonel will direct that anger at us,” Jim chuckled.

“No offense, sir…but if I was you all…I’d try being different people for a while.”

“None taken, soldier, and believe me if we could go back to the train right now as anyone else we would!”

The three agents sat at the same table in the parlor car they had sat at only days before planning their mission. Their faces were a somber contrast in comparison to the exited ones of before. None of the agents could meet the glare of the man before them. They had failed…AGAIN!

“Gentlemen, what do you have to say for yourselves THIS time?” Richmond asked.

“Mission accomplished? We didn’t bring Loveless back but we didn’t come back empty handed either,” Jim replied, looking Richmond in the eye finally.

“If this is an accomplished mission I would rather not see one of your failures.”

“With all due respect, sir. We did bring Voltaire back and we did manage to destroy not one but two of Loveless’ hideouts,” Artie offered in their defense.

“I heard about that. While I am glad you destroyed his lairs; that is NOT the mission you were assigned. You were simply to deliver the President’s terms of surrender and negotiate Loveless’ return to custody.”

“Yes, sir,” all three agents replied.

“Would any of you care to tell me why it is that our best agents can manage to complete every other assignment they are given but ANY assignment involving Dr. Loveless comes your way and all rules and common sense seem to go out the window?” Richmond wanted to know.

“Loveless wouldn’t have it any other way,” Jim answered.

“Explain that to me, Mr. West.”

“Sir, we tried to reason with him but he wouldn’t hear of it. All he was concerned with was getting all of his demands met and nothing else.”

“We gave him every chance to do the right thing and come with us…he wanted to do things his way as usual,” Jim continued.

“Dr. Loveless is just different. He doesn’t really fit into any category we have, sir.”

“I see. And Mr. Gordon, would you care to explain why it is that you had rescued your fellow agent and yet you went back in after Loveless on your own?”

“I wanted him, sir. With all my heart I wanted him in custody…to stand trial for everything he’s done the he keeps getting away with.”

“You know that sounds like a motive of revenge, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you are aware are you not that revenge is not tolerated in the Service?”

Yes, sir, I am aware of that.”

“Was it revenge, Mr. Gordon?”

“I don’t know, sir. I honestly do not know,” Artie replied softly.

“Well, the three of you will have plenty of time to think about your actions…you are all hereby confined to this train until we reach Washington…which will be in about three weeks,” The colonel could barely contain his smile as all heads snapped up.

“Sir?” they questioned.

“Artemus you will require that much time and possibly more to heal from your latest antics, and James, you and Jeremy can’t seem to learn your lessons.”

“Sir, why three weeks? The weather isn’t going to get worse is it?” Jim asked.

“No, the weather should remain fairly steady,” Richmond responded a smile tugging at his lips.

“Begging your pardon, sir…then why the delay?” Artie asked.

“We’ve picked up a passenger who will be utilizing this end of the car for the next couple of weeks,” Richmond replied the smile no longer just tugging at his lips, it had become a full fledged grin that bordered on a smirk.

“May we ask who, sir?” Jeremy asked perplexed.

“You may ask, gentlemen, but I do not think you will like the answer.” All eyes turned to the entrance to the parlor car seeking out the new voice.

Jeremy’s eyes few as big as saucers, neither Jim nor Artie bothered to turn around as long experience had engraved that particular voice into their memories. Jim stole a glance at his partner and noted that he had grown a shade or two paler, if that was even possible. Artie looked at Jim, a look of fear and despair on his face.

“Oh, God, Jim, I told you even Great Aunt Maude couldn’t help us and I’d give just about anything to be with her right now,” Artie commented, knowing they were indeed in trouble now.

“Mr. President, please come in and make your self comfortable…your agents seem to have forgotten their manners,” Richmond ushered Grant into the parlor car.

“That’s all right, Colonel,” Grant stated with a smirk, “they’ll have plenty of time to brush up on them. It seems they have a date with my personal physician…starting with you, Mr. Gordon,” Grant pointed in Artie’s direction.

“Uh, sir…if it’s all the same you, I’d rather Jim and Jeremy were seen first,” Artie protested weakly.

“No it is not all the same to me, Mr. Gordon. Any idiot can tell you are in far worse shape than your compatriots. Meaning you require the most immediate medical attention,” Grant tried not to break his surly expression with the grin that was fighting to surface.

“This time, gentlemen, I will be overseeing your recoveries personally as I will be using this train to travel the Mid West inspecting the storm damage.”

“Now, gentlemen, if you have no further objections that I can guarantee you will not be listened to anyway… let’s get you back to your rooms.”

Before he could protest, Grant grabbed Artie’s arm and eased him out of his chair. Artie groaned and Grant merely glared at him. Jim and Jeremy exited the car just ahead of them. They stopped in front of the lab and Grant spoke to his guards.

“Boys, put a sturdy lock on this door and no one and I mean NO one is allowed in there unless you are told otherwise by me. And this one,” Grant gestured to his charge still held securely in his hands, “is to be locked in his quarters for the duration of my stay aboard this train if you find him in there.”

“Yes, sir!” the guards replied and scurried to find the requested lock.

“Boys, I am putting James and Jeremy in James’ room,” Grant said as they stopped by Jim’s door, “The doctor will be in to see you two shortly,” Jim and Jeremy filed silently into the room.

“Artemus, you will be the sole occupant in your room. Judging by the looks of you, Harold will insist upon it anyway. But I also wanted to give you some time alone to consider your recent actions.”

“Son, had it been any agent other than yourself there is no doubt in my mind that I would have them thrown out of the Service,” Grant remarked solemnly as he led Artie to his room.

“Yes, sir,” came the timid reply.

Grant helped Artie to his bed and helped him remove his boots and settle back onto the pillows. It was all Artie could do to keep his features in check when Grant accidentally brushed against his ribs.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that, Artemus,” Grant admonished him, “You do know Harold is going to pretty severely limit your activities don’t you? I myself am very interested in what motivated you to behave in this manner.”

“Sir, I have no defense for my actions other than the fact that I am human. I have far too many human frailties one of which being loyalty to my partner…to a fault,” Artie tried to soften whatever punishment he had coming.

“I know that, son. But what I was talking about was this seeming hatred for Dr. Loveless. I suggest you think long and hard about this and put it in its place. Would you care to talk about it?”

“Not just yet, sir, but maybe later.”

“Much later!” both men turned to the new voice.

“Harold, I see you found your first patient,” Grant smiled.

“Yes, sir, I have. Maybe you could keep the other two company while I examine this one. And, sir, use ear plugs if you have them…I don’t plan on being too gentle with our friend here,” Dr. Evans glared at Artie.

After Dr. Evans finished his examination of Artie, bandaged him and properly chastised him, Evans settled him back onto the pillows with orders that he not move from that spot for the next three days. Evans went to Jim’s room and completed his exams, giving them similar instructions.

Jeremy would be the first allowed up after a day, Jim after two IF he behaved. Happy all of his charges had been tended to, Evans returned to the parlor car to give his report to the President. The train was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. Grant smiled, thinking he had finally found a way to corral James and Artemus and he wondered why he hadn’t thought of it sooner.

Artie lay in his bed one arm behind his head. He shifted positions and knocked a pole over that had been leaning on his bed. With a grin he grabbed the pole and pulled it toward him. He grabbed a paper and pencil; and jotted a quick note. Still smiling he eased the pole across his room and through a small hole that opened when he pressed the tip of the pole against it. He worked the pole through until he felt the familiar double tug signal. He released the pole and waited. As the pole poked through to Jim’s room, Jeremy started and stared at the pole.

“James, what is THAT?” he asked.

“Oh, that’s Artie,” Jim rose and gave a double tug on the pole then pulled it through to his room.

“Artemus?”

“Yeah, it’s a little system we worked out to pass away the time,” Jim smiled as he read the attached note and quickly wrote his reply.

“It looks like you two have entirely too much time on your hands,” Jeremy chuckled.

“We only use this when one of us is confined to his room with something the other doesn’t want to catch.”

“So basically you have found a way to disobey orders without directly disobeying orders,” Jeremy said as he shook his head.

“Not at all, Jeremy. The President only said we had to stay out of each other’s rooms until the Doctor give us the all clear. He never said anything about poles.”

“Oh man,” Jeremy groaned, “you two don’t need a handler you need therapy,” Jeremy replied as Jim pushed the pole back through the wall.

Artie waited until the pole was close enough he could grasp it without having to leave his bed. Then he pulled the pole through and retrieved the note smiling as he read…

Jim,
Hey, pal, how did you two make out? I got sidelined for three days. No personal visits (HINT HINT ). Tell Jeremy to watch out if you play poker you cheat!
Artemus
Artie,

Jeremy will be out in one day and I have to wait two days. We’ll come visit you as soon as we can. Until then, pal, you know what works…they can’t keep us down.
Jim

P. S. I do not cheat at cards…that’s your job!

Artie chuckled as he wrote out his reply and sent it back. Oh the Old Man should have known better than this. Thinking he can keep us locked up and unable to communicate on our own train…tsk tsk tsk. Yep, this confinement is going to be a piece of cake! Artie pushed the pole back to his partner and waited for the reply…happily whistling to himself.

THE END