The Night Of The Deception

[Artiespet]

THE NIGHT OF THE DECEPTION

James West, Secret Service Agent for the United States Government, really hated these kinds of assignments. Sitting here just watching the comings and goings of some of this town’s citizens was not his idea of a successful mission. He would much rather just dive in head first and beat the information out of the men they were watching. He risked a glance across the street toward his partner.

Now there was a man more suited for this kind of intelligence work. Artemus Gordon, actor, soldier, spy extraordinaire didn’t seem to mind sitting idly by, in the snow no less, just watching. Jim thought assignments like these gave his partner some weird sense of satisfaction. Guess it comes from knowing he could best the bad guy without having to break a sweat, Jim thought as he chuckled, watching his friend.

Artemus was intently listening to the conversation of two gentlemen approaching him on the sidewalk. It’s a good thing Artie is a master of disguise, no way could I pull that off. Jim watched as his partner went into action. Artie limped from the alley and barreled head long into the gentlemen.

“Cuse me, kind sirs,” Artie slurred, “I did…didn’t see ya there,” he drawled.

“No harm done, here go get yourself a bottle and forget it,” one of the men handed him a bill and they continued on.

Artie pocketed the bill and limped his way across the street toward his partner’s hiding place. He slid down beside his partner and pulled the bill out of his pocket and looked at it. Fellow agent Jeremy Pike had come through yet again, Artie smiled.

“Yep, Jim that’s our man. Jeremy says he’s the one behind all the money counterfeiting. But he still doesn’t know who’s behind the bearer bonds counterfeiting,” Artie said as he passed the note to his partner.

“Guess we’re back to square one on that account, then,” Jim sighed.

“Not necessarily, Jim. When I was waiting for Jeremy I overheard a nice little conversation in that alley. Seems someone wants to liberate the mint of some of its paper stock tonight,” Artie grinned, knowing what that information would do to his friend’s spirits.

“Really now? Looks like I just might get some exercise on this mission after all.”

“Sure looks that way, James. How does round about midnight sound to you?”

“Fine, Artie, just fine,” Jim smiled.

The two men slowly made their way over toward the Mint building and took up their positions. They didn’t want to alert the thieves to their presence until after they had the paper and they could trail them back to their boss and eventually to the ringleader. Jim gently rested his hand on his gun, hoping he wouldn’t have to use it. Artie crouched down and kept his eye on the door.

They didn’t have long to wait. The door cautiously opened and two men carrying large bundles of what Jim and Artie could only assume was the bearer bond paper emerged and hauled their loads to a waiting buckboard. They looked around nervously, this had all been too easy and they were waiting for the trap to be sprung. They climbed into the buckboard and quietly made their way through the streets not noticing their shadows close behind.

Jim and Artie followed closely, careful to keep to the shadows. Interesting, Artie thought as they pulled up near what appeared to be their destination. Artie knew he would have to defuse his partner before he skipped the frying pan and ran straight into the fire. Oh well, if this is heading where I think it is James will still have plenty of opportunity to bash a few heads in, Artie thought as he slowed his horse and pulled over to the cover of the trees on the side of the road and waited for his partner to do the same.

“Jim,” Artie whispered, “you recognize that place?”

“No, should I?”

“Yeah, it belongs to Senator Alvah Crocker. He uses it when he’s in Denver on senatorial business.”

“Crocker? Isn’t he a little old to be involved in something like this?”

“Guess you’re never too old to think about getting as much money as you can before you die.”

“How do you propose we go about getting in there, Artie?” Jim asked with a gleam in his eye and a grin plastered from ear to ear as he wriggled his eyebrows.

“Not THAT way, James,” Artie rolled his eyes and grinned at his partner knowing Jim’s way of getting into places.

“It’s too early to tip our hand I suggest we use my way.”

“Oh and D & D is better than a head on attack?” Jim smirked.

“D & D? What’s that?” Artie questioned.

“Disguises and Deceit, pal. And I must say you seem to be awfully deceitful lately and if I didn’t know you better I’d think I’d have something to really worry about,” Jim laughed at his partner’s glare.

“Oh very funny, Jim. But this case calls for something much more sinister than mere disguises and deceit…just plain old Artemus Gordon and James West being their usual debonair secret agent selves,” Artie smiled back.

“Huh? Even our badges won’t give us any reason to get in there at this time of night.”

“We don’t need them. We wait until morning and the “theft” is discovered. Then we have every right to come here to talk to Crocker. After all, he IS the Chairman of the Appropriations Committee isn’t he? And as such we will of course have to consult him in our investigation,” Artie smiled quite pleased with himself.

“Oh but of course. But do you think that’s wise putting all our cards on the table like that right at the beginning of the game?”

“Who said that’s all our cards, Jim?” Artie winked at him.

“What have you got up your sleeve, Artie?”

“Nothing…yet. Just a hunch I’m playing…go with me on this one, Jim. If I’m right we may find out who’s behind the good Senator Crocker.”

“So you don’t think the Senator is behind all this?”

“Crocker? Nah…he might have had aspirations to be President in the past but I don’t think he’s capable of pulling this off by himself. He’s got to be getting help from someone, and I’m rather curious as to whom.”

“Just be careful, pal, you know what they say about curiosity and the cat.”

“Last time I checked, James, I was not a cat,” Artie grinned.

Artie and Jim slowly crept up toward the one window that was lit. They eased up against the house and listened in on the conversation that was taking place inside.

“We got the paper just like you said, Mr. Crocker. It’s all unloaded down in the basement. You got any more orders for us?” Slim Bannister asked the senator.

“No, not tonight. You and your men did well. Go now and wait until I contact you again. We mustn’t be seen together and especially not here.”

“Sure, boss. Uh…boss what about Jake? He ain’t no good to us since he got shot up last time. We really need to replace him.”

“Then by all means do so. Scouring the dregs of humanity for your ilk is a task I for one do not relish. Finding a replacement for Mr. Roberts I will leave up to you. Now leave me and do not contact me until I send for you,” Bannister turned to leave the room and turned back when Crocker spoke again.

“And Mr. Bannister…”

“Yeah, Mr. Crocker?”

“See to it that Mr. Roberts doesn’t talk…to ANYONE.”

“Yes, sir,” Bannister replied with a sinister smile as he left.

“Jim, you better go back to the train. I just thought of another way into that house.”

“Artie, I don’t like it when you get that look in your eyes.”

“Not to worry, James my boy, we wanted to find a way in and it just so happens that two ways in found us. You can still conduct the investigation and if anyone asks any questions about me just tell him I’m off doing your leg work,” Artie winked at his partner then disappeared into the shadows.

“Pal, one of these days your D & D will be your undoing,” Jim muttered as he chuckled and headed for his horse.

The next morning Jim rose early and rode toward the Mint. He feigned surprise when he was informed of the previous night’s occurrence. He quickly left to inform Senator Crocker and hoped his partner was making headway in whatever it was he had planned.

The man stood at the bar sipping on his beer. Most of the other patrons had been giving this man a wide berth. Whether it was from the ugly scar that ran from the corner of his right eye down his jaw line to his chin or from his all around grisly personality, and quite frankly, the man didn’t care, he was just glad they left him alone. He raised his head when Slim Bannister entered the saloon and approached the bar. Time to go to work, the man thought.

“Barkeep, I thought you said this place would liven up. And you said they was people here what’s lookin ta hire,” the scarred man grumbled and tried not to grin as Bannister took in his appearance.

“It will liven up buddy it’s still early yet…not all of my regulars are here yet,” the barkeep replied as he shoved a fresh beer at him and slid one down the bar to Bannister.

“What’s the matter, friend, “ Bannister said, “this place not lively enough for you?”

“Who’s askin?” the scarred man grumbled.

“Name’s Bannister, Slim Bannister. Who might you be?”

“Why you need ta be knowin?” came the grizzled reply.

“Just trying to be neighborly, friend. Could be I know someone who’s hiring but you have to have the right attitude.”

“Well now, you show me someone who’s hiring and I’ll show you a change in my attitude,” Bannister turned and extended his hand and smiled. Artie shook his hand.

“Friend, you sound like someone I could use. It just so happens I’m looking to replace one of my men who was wounded recently.”

“Doin what?”

“A little of this a little of that. You do whatever you’re told when you’re told and without question and you’ll be paid quite well.”
“Does this little of this and little of that include legal or illegal work?”

“Does it make a difference to you?”

“Don’t make no nevermind ta me. Long as I get paid at the end of the job. Although illegal is usually more fun,” Artie grinned and chuckled evilly.

“That it is, friend, that it is. So do you want the job?”

“When do I start?”

“Five minutes ago. All I need from you is a name and place to contact you. You’ll be paid five dollars a day, even when you don’t work for me.”

“Five whole dollars a day? Why you payin men that kind a money just fer sitting around doing nothin?” Artie feigned surprise.

“Let’s just say I need my workers to be ready at a moments notice and it’s worth the five dollars a day to make sure they don’t look for work elsewhere.”

“Sounds fair enough. I don’t mind gettin paid just to sit around.” Artie laughed a big hearty laugh as he extended his hand again to Bannister.

“Locke, Ben Locke’s the name. I just got into town and I ain’t got me a place to stay as yet…maybe you can recommend one?”

“Well, Mr. Locke, there’s Fly’s Boarding House over on Main Street. A lot of the men in my employ stay there.”

“Ain’t that place supposed to be haunted?”

“You aren’t a superstitious man are you, Mr. Locke?”

“Nah…I’ll sleep anywhere makes no nevermind ta me.”

“Good just tell the clerk you work for me and he’ll set you up with a room for a “special price” and you can take all your meals there too.”

“Alright then, Mr. Bannister. Do I need ta stay there all the time?”

“No, just don’t go more than a few minutes from there and let the clerk know where to find you in case I have an urgent need for your…uh…services.”

Bannister nodded to him, set his beer down and left, smiling. He was happy with his new hire and he was sure he would work out…IF he passed the test Bannister had in store for him. What an ass, Artie thought as he watched Bannister leave. It’s going to be a pleasure taking him out. Artie paid for his beer and left heading for the boarding house.

[Artiespet]

WWWWWWWWWW

Jim patiently waited in the study to Senator Crocker’s rented Denver home. He had announced himself to the butler and had been shown into the study immediately when he told the butler his business. He turned as he heard the door open and Crocker entered.

“Senator Crocker,” Jim crossed to him and extended his hand.

“Mr. West,” Crocker replied as he shook West’s hand.

“My butler said you have urgent business? What can be so pressing at this hour of the morning?”

“The Mint was compromised last night, Senator.”

“The Mint? Oh good heavens!”

I gotta hand it to him he’s good, Jim thought.

“Yes, sir. They didn’t get any money oddly enough only paper,” Jim scrutinized the Senator looking for any signs of guilt.

“Paper? What on earth…oh good lord don’t tell me they got the currency paper? With that any one could…”

“Oh no, sir. Rest assured we checked that. They only got away with preprinted government bearer bond stock.”

“Bearer bond stock? What on earth would they want that for?”
Oh he’s good…real good. Artie might even learn a trick or two from this guy, Jim thought as he fought to keep the grin from his face.

“With that bearer bond paper they could print their own government bonds for any amount. They could even have a good chance to bankrupt the nation’s economy.”

“Oh my, I will have to call an emergency session of the Appropriations Committee at once. We will have to find some way to counteract this.”

“Mr. West, have you any leads?”

“Uh…none yet, sir. But my partner is out doing some checking and we hope to have something soon.”

“Your partner? Oh yes…that would be that Mr. Gordon I’ve heard about. Well, I sincerely hope you find these culprits and soon. The travesty this would cause to this nation would be reprehensible to say the least,” Crocker remarked as he turned toward his desk and strode to the window, looking out.

“I’ll be going back to the Mint now, sir. I’ll keep you updated on my findings,” Jim said as he made his exit.

“Huh? Oh yes by all means…” Crocker said to his retreating back.

WWWWWWWWWW

“I didn’t expect ta see ya back so soon, Mr. Bannister,” Locke said as he gestured to Bannister to take a seat at his table in the saloon.

“Well, it seems I might have the need of your services, Mr. Locke,” Bannister replied as he took the seat across from Locke.

“What is it ya need done?” Locke crooked a curious eyebrow at him.

“There is a loose end in the organization that needs tightening. My…employer feels it would be best if you were to take care of that little task. Call it an initiation if you will,” Bannister scrutinized Locke carefully.

“I see. This loose end what needs tightening…is it male or female? And just how tight does it need to be?” Locke leaned forward and bent over his beer.

“Oh rest assured it’s indeed male. And it needs to be tightened all the way,” Bannister scrutinized him, looking for any adverse reactions.

“All the way so’s it don’t leak no more?” Locke questioned.

“I see your mother didn’t raise any fools, Mr. Locke. You complete this task and I think you’ll do just fine in our little organization,” Locke smirked back at him.

“Just how soon will ya be needin this done? I’ll be needin ta know where and how to find this loose end.”

“His name is Roberts, Jake Roberts. He’s staying at the boarding house, room 10. My employer would like this done as quickly as possible.”

“Hmm…how’s tonight? Say about 8 o’clock?”

“I suppose that would be suitable. But why not just do it now and get it over with?” Bannister questioned him.

“I got me a supper date with that pretty young thing over there,” Locke pointed toward one of the barmaids, “And I don’t like to mix business with pleasure.”

“My, my you do work fast, Locke,” Bannister smirked.

“I see what I want and I go fer it.”

“Until tonight then, Mr. Locke. I’ll meet you back here after it’s done,” Bannister said as he rose and left the table.

“Damned ignorant fool,” Artie muttered under his breath as he finished his beer then set the empty mug on the table and left.

Artie wandered through town, seemingly without direction until he was on the outskirts of town and Senator Crocker’s home. He watched the Senator’s home and waited for his partner to come out. As Jim was walking down the street toward the center of town, Artie “stumbled” down the sidewalk and into Jim, toppling them both to the ground. He jumped up quickly and grabbed him by the lapels.

“Mister, you best be watching where yer goin or yer liable to get hurt,”

“Sorry, friend, I didn’t see you,” Jim said trying to sidestep the man.

“Didn’t see…Mr. Fancy Pants, I think you need to be taught a lesson in how to notice people what’s right in front of you!” Artie drug him into the alley and slammed him up against the wall, Jim brought his hand up to strike him.

“Jim it’s me! Just make this look good,” Artie growled and shoved him against the wall again.

“Artie? Wow, nice make up job. What have you found out?”

“I’ve got a job working for Slim Bannister. See what you can find on him. He’s paying men five dollars a day to just sit around and wait for him. But that’s not the good part,” Artie landed a fake punch to Jim’s midsection and Jim buckled as if he had really been hit.

“What’s the good part, pal?” Jim asked as he faked a missed punch.

“I think I found us an excellent fountain of information on Bannister and Crocker and their whole operation,” Another shove and punch came, this time Artie missed and hit the building.

“You’ve been busy, Artie,” Jim ducked the missed punch and swung wildly, spinning himself down to the ground.

“That I have, partner, that I have. I need you to get to a Jake Roberts. You’ll find him over at Fly’s Boarding House Room 10. He was a flunky for Bannister. He was wounded on their last little outing and we need to get him to turn state’s evidence and set him up,” Artie grabbed Jim and rolled around the ground with him tightly in his grasp.

“Set him up? Why, Artie?” Jim pulled his arms up to protect himself as Artie sat on top of him hitting him.

“Seems Crocker doesn’t like loose ends and Roberts is a loose end. I’m the new guy so I get to tighten said end,” Artie rose off Jim and looked around.

Only a few stragglers had stayed to watch the fight and since Artie wasn’t sure if any of them belonged to Bannister he kicked Jim, then leaned in close and whispered to him in tones only his partner could make out.

“I need you to find a way to get me that new tranquilizer pistol I’ve been working on. Bannister wants Roberts killed but if I can pull this off we will have the best weapon against Crocker and his bunch that we can have. If you or Jeremy can arrange to be in the vicinity and get here before the cops do you can take him to a safehouse.”

“Sure, Pal. Jeremy’s still in town how about I arrange a meeting for the two of you at that bar you told me about? Say tonight around six. And pal, be careful Crocker doesn’t strike me as a man who cares too much about the men in his employ.”

“Don’t worry, James, I am quite attached to my beating heart and I intend to keep it that way,” Artie winked at him as he shoved him one last time.

“From now on Mr. Fancy Pants I suggest ya keep yer dad-blamed eyes open!”

“I’ll keep that in mind, friend,” Jim replied as he dusted himself off and left the alleyway and continued on toward the train.

“It’ll be done tonight, Mr. Crocker,” Bannister said as he pushed away from the railing of the bridge and moved his fishing pole to the other side of the man who appeared to be feeding ducks.

“Good I trust you found a man capable of doing the job without leaving any traces back to us?”

“Yes, sir. I think this new guy I hired will work out nicely. He doesn’t seem to mind dirty tasks in fact it seems he prefers them.”

“Just keep your guard up, if they are on to us he could be a plant.”

“I checked him out thoroughly myself. If he’s a plant then they did an excellent job. He has a record stretching back 15 years ranging from assault to theft to burglary and even a murder charge but nothing was proved on that.”

“Hmm…yes…a man like that could prove to be an asset to our organization. After he’s finished with Roberts bring him to my place. I think my partner would like to meet this man,” the old man tossed the last of his breadcrumbs into the river and walked slowly away in the direction of the Capital building.

Bannister stayed at the railing fishing for a while longer to make his cover took good. He stood thinking about Locke and all the things this man could accomplish for him. A smile worked its way onto his features, then he tossed his pole into the river and left.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jim rummaged through the lab until he found the tranquilizer pistol his partner had been looking for. He started to leave when he turned back and grabbed some of Artie’s assorted “toys” and put them in the bag as well and headed off for a quick meeting with Jeremy before meeting his partner.

“Jim, don’t you think Artemus might be getting in over his head on this one?” Jeremy asked concerned.

“Well, you know Artie. But I doubt anything either of us could say to him would make any difference,” Jim sipped at his beer.

“Maybe I could find a way to go undercover and keep an eye on things,” Jeremy offered, sensing the concern in Jim.

“And risk Artie’s wrath when he thinks we’re playing Mother Hen? You have more guts than I do,” Jim chuckled.

“You do have a point there, James.”

“But we can find this Jake Roberts guy and see if he’s willing to work for us and turn state’s evidence.”

“Do you think he might?”

“Artie thought there was enough of a chance to risk another meeting,” Jim hefted the bundle in his hand.

“Ahh…toys for Artemus?”

“Yeah I’m going to claim it’s a peace offering and hope it doesn’t get him in trouble.”

Artie strode into the saloon and looked around, he pretended not to notice Jim and Jeremy as he found a table near the back. He sat down and motioned the barmaid to bring him a beer. Jim quickly intercepted her on her way to the table, paying for his partner’s beer and heading toward him.

“I was hoping I would run into you again, friend,” Jim smiled as he set the beer in front of Artie and took the seat opposite him.

“As I recall our last meeting wasn’t too friendly…FRIEND,” came the curt reply.

“Look, I just wanted to apologize and tell you how sorry I am,” Jim placed the bundle on the table and pushed it toward him.

“Here maybe this’ll help,” Artie accepted the bundle but didn’t open it.

“Whatever. Just watch where yer walkin and ya won’t have any problems.”

“I’ll do that in the future.”

“Do you mind if I join you?”

“Suit yerself,” Jim waved the barmaid over and ordered a beer. They remained quiet until she brought it back to the table.

“How are things going, pal?” Jim asked hesitantly.

“Fine, so far, Jim. I’ve met some of the other members of this little club and if I had to guess I’d have to say they really scrapped the bottom of the barrel for these guys.”

“That bad huh? I hope you’re watching your back, pal.”

“I am, Jim. As long as you can deliver Roberts I think this will go smoothly.”

“Jeremy and I are on the way over to see him now.”

“Just don’t go gettin no idees about this here beer and gift smoothing things over, Mr. Fancy Pants. You just watch where you walk.”

“Will do,” Jim rose and left the table joining Jeremy, and they left, heading toward the boarding house and Robert’s room.


Jim knocked on the door to Room 10 and waited for an answer. He heard a muffled “come in” and he pushed open the door and he and Jeremy entered.

“Mr. Roberts? Mr. Jake Roberts?” Jim asked knowingly.

“Yeah, whaddaya want? I ain’t well right now so make it quick.”

“Well, Mr. Roberts, we’re here to see to it that you have a chance to get well. IF you’re willing to cooperate that is.”

“What are ya tryin to git at?”

“We have it on good authority that an attempt will be made on your life tonight.”

“My life? Why would any one want to kill me?”

“It seems your employer sees you as a loose end and he doesn’t like loose ends.”

“My employer? Why that no good…”

“Mr. Roberts, we are here to stop that from happening. If you are willing to cooperate with us we can keep you safe.”

“What do you mean…you want me to roll over on my boss? You don’t know what yer askin. They have a long reach.”

“Mr. Roberts, if you help us we can give you a new start. A whole new identity, relocate you anywhere you’d like.”

“I ain’t up to moving just yet how can you do that?”

“We work for the government. We’re Secret Service Agents,” Jim leaned forward and showed Jake his identification.

“Why should I help you? Now that I know they’re after me what’s ta stop me from just dealin with it myself?”

“Nothing, but at least if you help us there’s a better chance you’ll make it to tomorrow morning alive,” Jim glared at Jake.

“Ya’ll got a man on the inside don’t ya?”

“What makes you think that?” Jeremy asked somewhat alarmed.

“Has to be that way. Only way you could know someone’s out to git me.”

“We have our ways, Mr. Roberts but if you aren’t interested we’ll take our offer and leave,” Jim and Jeremy rose and headed toward the door.

“Wait, I didn’t say I wasn’t interested. What do you want me to do?” Jim and Jeremy pulled their chairs closer to the bed and began to lay out their plan.

[Artiespet]

WWWWWWWWWW

Artie placed the bundle from Jim on his bed and opened it. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw the “extras” Jim had included. When he reached the bottom of the bundle he found a note Jim had written. Artie, I put some extra things in just in case. I hope you don’t have to use them. And pal, take care of yourself and be careful. Jim. Artie smiled, shook his head and carefully hid the items. He checked the time and left for his meeting with Jake.

Artie quietly knocked on the door to Room 10 and carefully opened the door at the muffled words. The man on the bed eyed him warily. Artie approached the bed and stood staring at Jake.

“Ya know why I’m here,” Artie stated matter of factly.

“Yeah, I know. So…you’re the one taking my place then?”

“Reckon so. If’n I do this.”

“Yer friend can really do what he said?”

“Yes…yes, he can.”

“Well, then I guess you’d best be gettin to it.” Even though Jake knew what was coming he still cringed as Artie lifted his pistol and fired, the dull thump sounding like a cannonball in the quiet room.

Jake slumped back and Artie set about the task of making it appear Jake had actually been shot. He made short work of the transformation and stepped back to admire his handiwork. Satisfied, he left in search of the hotel clerk. I just hope I gave him a large enough dose to keep him sedated until our guys can get here and claim the body, Artie thought.

The clerk rushed into the room with Artie on his heels. The clerk checked to see if Jake was still alive and looked at Artie and solemnly shook his head. He pulled the blanket up over Jake’s face and stood to face Artie.

“You see who did this?” He asked accusingly.

“No, I was told to look in one him by Mr. Bannister. He didn’t answer when I knocked so I opened the door and looked in. I found him like that,” Artie glared back at the clerk.

“Well, I’ll see to it that the body is disposed of properly.”

“I have a meeting with Bannister…I’ll tell him about Jake,” Artie offered.

“You do that then,” the clerk made his exit and Artie followed.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jim sat through the dinner meeting with Jeremy, Colonel Richmond, and two other agents, not really paying much attention. He was jolted back to the conversation when Jeremy pulled at his arm.

“James, I asked if you had anything to add to my report?” Jeremy asked.

“What? No, your report was fine.”

“Jeremy, is he all right?” Richmond asked, “He didn’t even notice your comment about the place being on fire!”

“What?!?” Jim looked confused.

“Forget it, James,” Jeremy said knowing what was on his friend’s mind.

“Colonel, James has his mind on other things.”

“No need to guess what “other things” are is there? Have you heard from Artemus, James?” Richmond wanted to know.

“No sir, not since I delivered that new pistol to him,” Jim replied distractedly.

“I see. Well, James you need to pull yourself together and focus on your mission. Artemus can fend for himself.”

“Yes, I know that but for some reason I feel like I’m missing something. Something important.”

“Well, it’ll come to you…until then let’s see if we can’t get Artemus that information he needs,” they rose and left the restaurant, each going their own ways.

Ben Locke sat at his table and sipped his beer waiting for Bannister to arrive. Hopefully as soon as I tell him I did his dirty work he’ll let me into the inner circle. We need to find out who these guys work for and take them down before they cause some serious damage, he thought. He looked up at the shadow that had crossed his table. Bannister had finally arrived. Ben leaned back and waved Bannister to the seat across from him.

“You’re here so I assume you have completed your task?” Bannister asked.

“Yeah I done it. Then I got the clerk and told him I found him dead when I came to his room.”

“Fine, just fine. You’ll get a little something extra in your pay envelope this week.”

“Sounds good ta me. You got any other jobs just give me a holler.”

“No, I have nothing at the moment. Nothing that is except a meeting for you to attend,” Bannister watched him carefully.

“Meetin? I ain’t no businessman…I don’t even go to Sunday meetin,” Ben growled.

“This meeting is mandatory, my friend.”
“Manda what?”

“Mandatory…it means you have no choice but to go. But no worries, it’s just that my employer wanted to meet you. He’s very impressed with your resume.”

“I don’t know what this here res u may is but if it means he’s happy with my work that’s fine with me.”

“We’ll leave as soon as you finish your beer. But my employer doesn’t like to be kept waiting,” Bannister said, noting the hesitant look on Ben’s face.

“Well, then, let’s not keep the man waiting,” came the reply as he took a large swig of his beer and set his glass down.

As they made their way toward the door Ben did a double take as he noted the entrance into the bar by Jeremy and Jim with none other than Colonel Richmond in tow. He tried to keep his eyes focused on getting out the door but snuck a quick glance at his partner. Hmm, Jim looks a little preoccupied, Artie thought as he quickly remembered not to smile at him. Bannister waited until they exited the saloon and were a short distance away before he spoke.

“Ben, that man back there…you know him?” Bannister asked skeptically.

“Mr. Fancy Pants? Nah, I just beat him up yesterdee for bumpin into me on the street, why?” Ben hoped Bannister bought his story.

“Oh, so you’re the one responsible for his black eye.”

“Yep, and next time he’ll get worse,” Ben grumped.

“Try and stay away from him if you can. The last thing I need is for one of my men drawing undue attention to themselves.”

“I’ll do my best, Mr. Bannister, but he gets in my way again all bets are off.”

“Well, just see to it that he doesn’t.”

They walked on in silence, Artie realizing they were headed for Senator Crocker’s residence. Well, the disguise fooled Jim and it seems to have fooled the Colonel it should work on the Senator. I only hope he doesn’t recognize my voice. Artie thought as they entered the house and were shown to the drawing room. Bannister took a seat and Ben chose to remain standing in case he had to make a quick get away. The door opened and Crocker entered. He crossed to the desk and took his seat behind it. He stared at Locke intently for several intense moments before he spoke.

“Mr. Bannister tells me you completed your assignment most satisfactorily…Mr. Locke is it?”

“Yes, sir. I done what he told me to and the cops are gonna be buffaloed till kingdom come,” Locke smiled, quite pleased with himself.

“Mr. Bannister, the envelope on my desk contains the necessary information on your next assignment. I have other work for Mr. Locke. Take your envelope and get to work. I wish to speak to Mr. Locke in private,” Bannister, grabbed the envelope and headed towards the door, apparently not bothered by the brush off.


“Mr. Bannister…”

“Yeah, boss?”

“That other little matter we discussed earlier…have you seen to it?”

“Yes, sir. Everything is on schedule,” Bannister replied as he slipped quietly from the room.

“Mr. Locke, Slim tells me you are a man of certain talents I require,” Crocker stated.

“That depends on the talents you’d be needin, sir.”

“There are three Secret Service Agents investigating the bearer bond paper robbery from the Mint recently. I need them silenced.”

“Permanent like?”

“Mr. Locke, I was told this type of work didn’t bother you…that you in fact preferred it. Was I misinformed?” Crocker glared at him.

“No, sir. Killin don’t bother me none…it’s the ones you want killed this time what bothers me.”

“Secret Service Agents are men just like you and me. They bleed and they die just the same.”

“I ain’t disputin that, sir, it’s just that Secret Agents bring special problems.”

“Such as?” Crocker was beginning to lose his patience with this man.

“They is a whole different kind of man for one. And they work for the govment…they’s more likely ta be missed than some no account like Roberts.”

“Very valid points. But these men are jeopardizing my entire operation and as they can not be bought they must be dealt with in another manner.”

“As ya wish,” Ben crossed toward the door to make his exit when Crocker’s next comment made him freeze.

“Mr. Locke, my partner wants these men removed from the situation rather badly and I for one am not in a position to argue with him. Perhaps Mr. Bannister made a mistake in hiring you.”

“No, sir. Maybe if I could talk to your partner I could figure out…”

“Mr. Locke!” Crocker shouted, “My partner does not have the time to consult with lackeys. Either do the task assigned to you or I shall have Mr. Bannister search for a replacement for you. And I assume you know how that would end.”

“Yes, sir, I’ll git right on it. Is there any time it has to be done?”

“Mr. Bannister is seeing to that. You are to meet him in the alley behind the boarding house in an hour. He will have some men there to help you.”

“And them agents?”

“They will be there do not worry about that. There should be three agents…a Mr. Pike…a Mr. West and a Mr. Gordon. My partner is primarily interested in Mr. West and Mr. Gordon but make no mistakes and do not allow Mr. Pike to get away.”

“Yes, sir,” Ben replied and took his leave.

An hour? How the hell am I going to alert Jim and Jeremy that they’ll be walking into a trap? And how in hell can Artemus Gordon show up for that meeting? I only hope Jim catches on quickly or we could all be in trouble, Artie thought as he headed back to his boarding house and the “meeting” in the alley.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jim entered his hotel only to be stopped by the clerk who handed him a note from his partner. He opened the note and scanned it before handing it to Jeremy.

“What do you make of it?” Jim asked.

“Well, for starters, I’d think it was a trap.”

“You’re a smart man, Jeremy, Artie’d never send me a typed note and especially NOT when his cover is an illiterate gun for hire.”

“And it just doesn’t make sense. How could he have found the time to type this let alone get it delivered here when he’s been at Crocker’s for the past hour.”

“Crocker’s? How did you know that?” Jim asked, shocked.

“You and Artemus don’t have the market cornered on informants, Jim,” Jeremy replied with a grin.

“I guess not,” Jim chuckled, “How are you fixed for weapons?”

“I have plenty, although I’m sure it’s nowhere near your usual accoutrements.”

“Heh heh you’re probably right. What do you say we head over to the alley? I’ve been needing some exercise lately anyway.”

“I’ll just bet you have, James. How DOES Artemus keep you out of the proverbial frying pan and accompanying fire as well as he does?” Pike laughed.

“He tries but when he fails he usually just stands back and turns me loose,” Jim replied returning the grin.

“Well now, this little party may be fun yet. What are we waiting for…let’s go get em!” They left the hotel and headed for the boarding house alley.

[Artiespet]

“You know one of Bannister’s men is a Secret Agent don’t you?” Crocker asked the figure seated across the desk from him.

“Oh I am very much aware of that. And unless I miss my guess I would say it’s the elusive Mr. Gordon. He has yet to put in an appearance in this little game so I can only assume he has we just haven’t spotted him yet.”

“The only new man would be that Mr. Locke Bannister hired. He did request a meeting with you but I vetoed the idea.”

“You what! Oh you really shouldn’t have. I would dearly love to see Mr. Gordon keep his disguised self from reacting when he found out I was your partner.”

“You are well acquainted with these Agents then I take it.”

“Oh yes, Mr. West and Mr. Gordon and I go back quite a way. One could almost say we are intimately acquainted,” the figure in the chair giggled.

“We still have time and if you’d like I could have my coach brought around and we could be one of the passersby when this goes down,” Crocker smirked evilly.

“A splendid idea, a most splendid idea indeed. I have instructed my own men to be near by to carry out my own little plot. Being there would be most enjoyable.”

“Your own little plot? I don’t understand.”

“Your men are free to do as they will with Mr. Pike as long as they dispose of him. West and Gordon are to be taken care of by my men.”

“Very well, I’ll see to it that the men are so informed.”

“Yes, you do that but, Crocker, just in case my suspicions are true do not inform this Mr. Locke,” Crocker left to contact his men and have his coach brought around, wondering if his alliance with this man had been a good idea.

Artie stood staring out the window in his room, watching the street below. He had a bad feeling about this night. He stared intently at the traffic and pedestrians, searching for any signs of suspicious activity. I know something’s up. I just know it! I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that something terrible is going to happen in that alley…get a hold of yourself Artemus old boy…there’s nothing to worry about. Jim’s a big boy he can take care of himself. And he has Jeremy there to help him. I just hope I can make my end look convincing enough. Artie turned away from the window, grabbed his jacket and left the room.

The other men had taken up their positions along the street and Ben and one other man took up their positions by the alley. They had been assigned the task of dragging the Secret Agents into the alley. Ben started a conversation with his man to pass the time and to try to look as inconspicuous as possible. This man either didn’t know anything about their bosses or had been instructed not to tell. Ben engaged him in other conversation until he noted the impending arrival of the Agents and he nodded to his partners across the street.

“Here they come. You let me haul ol’ Mr. Fancy Pants in here. I got a bone to pick with him,” Ben told the man across the alley from him.

“Whatever… don’t make no never mind ta me which one I git. But I thought they was supposed to be three of em.”

“The other one must have gotten side tracked. Least ways we git two of em.”

There goes that coach again, Artie thought, I’m sure I saw it passing by quite a few times. Artie watched the coach slow and come to a stop across the street. He watched as one of Bannister’s men approached the coach and spoke at length with the occupants. Artie couldn’t get a good enough look at the man’s face to read his lips but the glare in his eyes was unmistakable. The man glanced at him then back into the coach.

Uh oh, this doesn’t look good. They couldn’t have found out about my cover could they? Just as he had started to cross the street to try and find out he collided with Jim and Jeremy. Thinking quickly, he grabbed Jim and hauled him into the alley, noting that his partner had grabbed Jeremy.

“Well, well…look who I got here. It’s Mr. Fancy Pants. Didn’t I tell you to stay out of my way?”

“Well, friend, this time it was completely your fault,” Jim grasped his wrists and spun him around, slamming him into the wall.

“Artie, I have a feeling this is a set up,” Jim whispered as he slapped him.

“I know it is. See that coach over there? That’s Crocker’s and I think his accomplice is in there with him,” Artie blocked him and punched him in the stomach, making Jim double over.

“Sorry, Jim, but I might get shot if I don’t make this real.”

“It’s okay, Artie, and I’ll try not to get you too bad,” Jim winked as he landed a solid right cross to his friend’s jaw.

“How kind of you, James. You know we’ve got to get a look inside that coach, don’t you?”

“Yeah, pal. But first one of us has to win.”

“I vote for me since I’m the charming one and since I’m supposed to win.”

“Good thing you didn’t say you were the good looking one, pal, with that scar that’s a face even Mother Gordon would have trouble loving.”

Artie pushed Jim away and down onto the ground. They rolled around the alley trading punched. Artie risked at glance at Jeremy and was reassured that for the moment he was holding his own. His attention was brought back to his fight when he failed to notice Jim swing a piece of wood his flailing hand had found and it connected solidly with his rib cage with bone breaking snaps.

Just as Artie had decided to put an end to the fight and he had placed his hands around Jim’s throat in the move they had worked out earlier, Jim’s eyes went wide. Artie, caught up in the moment and completely immersed in his character, didn’t notice the look on his friend’s face. Jim decided there was no time to try and get his partner’s attention so he did the only thing he could think of.

“Artie, look out!” Jim shouted just as Artie felt the crashing blow on the back of his skull and he fell forward onto his partner.

Jeremy had heard Jim’s shout and, wondering why he would blow his partner’s cover like that, looked over too see Artie fall. Realizing this was a setup and a dangerous one at that, Jeremy evaded his captors and slipped down the alley. He hated leaving them there like that but he knew that if they were to have any chance at all he had to get away and get to the Colonel. He stayed to the shadows and made a note of the hospital name on the side of the ambulance that came and took them away. After painfully watching Jim swarmed over by a sea of men, Jeremy took off in the direction of Richmond’s hotel.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jim slowly opened his eyes and looked around. He spotted Artie slumped over against one wall and tried to rise when he discovered he had been tied quite tightly to the chair he was sitting in. He tried to activate the knife in his boot only to discover it had been removed. He tried his wrist gun only to find it gone as well. Damn, whomever we’re dealing with knows us pretty well. I hope Artie wakes up pretty soon. I’d like to see what he knows about our mysterious captors. As if on cue, Artie began to stir and he opened his eyes. He shook his head to clear the cobwebs and moaned.

“Oh man I hope someone knows the whereabouts of the sledgehammer that kissed the back of my head,” Artie groaned as he tried to reach up and feel the sore spot when he discovered he had been tied to a pipe running along the wall to the heater in the corner.

“It’s about time you woke up, Cinderella. Have a nice nap did you, pal?” Jim smiled at his friend but concern was written in his eyes.

“Just dandy, James. I see you were extremely productive while I was out.”

“Sorry, pal, after you fell on me they swarmed me and hit me too. I just woke up myself a minute ago.”

“No, I’m sorry, Jim. It stands to reason if they wanted me out they’d want you out too. You didn’t happen to get a glance at our mysterious friend did you?”

“No, I didn’t but I did see Jeremy get away so at least someone knows we were taken this time.”

“Well, that’s good at least,” Artie commented as he tried his bonds.

Artie pulled on the ropes binding his wrists to the pipe and grunted when he felt something pull in his chest. He twisted his features and took short breaths until the pain lessened. He flashed a smile at his partner and kept trying to loosen his ropes. Damn, whoever did this sure as hell didn’t want it to be too easy for us to get away. I can’t even get at my cuffs to see if they left me my special cuff links. He noticed Jim scrutinizing him and he went back to work on his ropes.

“Hey, you okay, pal?” Jim questioned.

“Yeah, Jim, just fine it seems I was hit on the head,” Artie joked, “Whoever tied these ropes did a topnotch job. If they were any tighter they’d cut clean through my wrists! What about you?” Artie hoped Jim didn’t notice his soft grunts or that he would take it as just effort put into getting free.

“Same here, pal. Do you think you can try and work your way down to that joint over there? Maybe you can loosen it.”

“Way ahead of you, James,” Artie replied as he had already begun working his way down the pipe.

Artie carefully inched his way down the pipe putting on his best actor’s face when he felt his ribs pull. Slowly, he reached the joint and he twisted around to get a better grip on the pipe. When he leaned forward, to get his hands in a better position, he let out an involuntary groan. Knowing Jim was watching, Artie kept his eyes trained on the floor in front of him and just kept working on the pipe maintaining the steady back and forth rocking rhythm.

“Artie,” Jim said when his partner wouldn’t meet his gaze. No reply.

“Artemus,” Jim said more forcefully.

“Yeah, Jim?” came the terse reply but still Artie wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“I’m going to ask you something and I want an honest answer this time. ARE YOU OKAY?”

“I’m fine, Jim, as well as can be expected for either of us under the circumstances…” Artie nearly growled.

“Artie…” Jim tried again.

“You want to come over here and try this, Jim? This pipe is rusted and it doesn’t want to turn,” Artie glared at his friend more out of frustration than anything else.

“Aw, Jim, I’m sorry,” Artie said as he slumped back down to the floor to rest for a moment before trying to budge the rusted pipe.
“It’s okay, Artie.”

“I did feel the threads give a little…I’ll try again,” this time Artie managed to keep the pain from showing in his features and he went back to work on the pipe.

“Hey, Jim,” Artie said, slightly out of breath, “any ideas on what we do after we get out of these ropes?”

“A plan usually presents itself, pal,” Jim grinned.

“Oh great out of the frying pan and into the fire,” Artie rolled his eyes and grinned back.

“You wouldn’t want it any other way, pal.”

Finally after several minutes of the rib jarring rocking back and forth on his haunches and much twisting of his wrists and arms, Artie grunted with satisfaction when the pipe separated. He slid his hands across the threads and he leaned against the wall when his hands were free.

He took a few deep breaths and started to work his hands out from behind his back. Jim watched his progress, wishing it were him doing that instead of Artie as he was the more agile of the pair. Sweat beginning to break out on his forehead, Artie had worked his hands to where they were behind his knees. He rolled over onto his back and lifted his legs into the air. He was extremely grateful that Jim didn’t have a view of his face as it was all he could do to keep the groans from escaping.

“There, that’s done it!” Artie said as he finally worked his hands over his legs.

“Great, pal, can you get your hands free?”

“I can’t feel much in them just yet but I do see they left my “special” cuff links on me. Do you think you could reach them?”

“Sure, I’ll give it a shot.”

Artie walked over to the chair and extended his bound wrists to his partner’s right hand. Jim flexed his numbing fingers and tried to reach Artie’s cuff link. His fingers slipped off and he tried again. This time his fingers held and he pulled the cuff link off and pushed it into Artie’s ropes. Artie brought his hands up to his chin and smashed the cuff link. His ropes began to smoke, then burst into flames. Artie worked his wrists and the ropes fell away and onto the floor. He quickly and carefully rubbed at his bruised and bleeding wrists to restore some circulation. Then he set about untying his partner’s hands. Soon Jim was freed and he too rubbed his wrists to restore circulation. They began to inspect the room for any possible means of escape.

“Looks like they took us to some kind of asylum,” Jim commented.

“Well, the bars on the window would lead me to think so too. I’d say it’s the Asylum of the State of Colorado. So that means we are out in the middle of nowhere. The state gave this place plenty of breathing room. It’s about 15 or 20 miles to town.”

“And you know this how, Artie?” Jim asked quizzically.

“Oh I did a stint in here for a mission once. Went quite well if I do say so myself,” Artie replied with a smile.

“I’ll just bet it did, pal. You probably left the staff questioning their own sanity by the time you left,” Jim chuckled.

“Aww, Jim, would I do that?” Artie returned his partner’s grin.

“In a New York minute, pal.”

“Hey, Jim, look at this…” Artie waved him over to the door.

“How careless of them to put us in a room with the hinges on our side of the door,” Jim commented has he grinned and removed his belt.

Jim used the prong from his belt buckle to pry the bolt from both hinges. He looked around for something he could use on the lock. Not seeing anything he pushed on the door, checking its sturdiness.

“Well, pal, this is one very solid door. We’re both going to have to do this. You vote for kicking it or you want to put your shoulder to the grindstone so to speak?” Knowing he preferred neither option Artie chose his words carefully.

“You pick, partner, I don’t care which method we use as long as we get out of here.”

“All right, shoulder’s it is then. On three…” they backed up to the window.

[Artiespet]

“One…two…three!” they rushed the door and their shoulders slammed into the unforgiving wood. The door held fast and Artie thought his ribs would burst.

“Any more bright ideas, Mr. Fancy Pants?” Artie wisecracked as he rubbed his shoulder.

“Just one, Artie. How are your legs feeling?”

“Oh…no worse than your average old timers,” Artie commented as he lined up next to his partner, who merely grinned and shook his head.

Four very well placed kicks later the door finally parted from the frame and fell outward into the hall. Jim stuck his head out and checked the hall. Not seeing anyone he ventured out. Artie followed. They crept to the end of the hallway and checked the other halls. Jim began to frown and Artie’s features mirrored his.

“Jim, do you get the idea that maybe this has all been just a little too easy?” Artie voiced the thought they were both thinking.

“Yeah, pal, I do and I don’t like it.”

“Me either. That door coming down should have alerted the next county and I don’t see one single asylum guard,” they worked their way down to the end of the long hallway.

“Hey, Jim, take a look at this…” Artie gestured to the exit.

“All the doors and windows have chains on both the inside and the outside. I’ve heard of wanting to keep the inmates in but this is ridiculous. It’s the same all around here. From what I can tell the only way out seems to be that door there at the end of this hall.”

“You beginning to get the idea we’re being herded, Artie?”

“That I do, James, that I do. What do you say we go meet the Head Cheese in this rat maze?”

They cautiously made their way toward the door at the end of the hall, Jim desperately wishing they had some sort of weapons to defend themselves with. They reached the door and Jim tried the doorknob.

“Oh gee lookie, Artie, it’s unlocked. Think we should go in?”

“Oh but of course, James, it would be impolite of us to do anything else.”

“After you, James,” Artie gestured to his partner and Jim slowly pushed on the door and opened it.

WWWWWWWWWW

“Sorry for waking you Colonel, but I thought this couldn’t wait til morning.”

“What is it, Pike?” Richmond said as he tied his robe and gestured him inside.

“The meeting in the alley…”

“Oh yes, the meeting and West isn’t here to report with you…don’t tell me…let me guess…you are unscathed but James is at the hospital.”

“Uh…no, sir…not exactly.”

“Not exactly? Mr. Pike perhaps you’d better sit down and tell me the rest.”

“Yes, sir,” Jeremy took a seat and began to fill him in.

“And when even more men piled into the alley I saw a window of opportunity and took it. I feel real bad about leaving them there like that but I thought it was best.”

“You did the right thing, Pike. West and Gordon can generally take care of themselves. Did you happen to see anything that could help us find where they were taken?”

“As I was leaving an ambulance wagon drove up. It said ‘Asylum Of The State Of Colorado on the side.”

“Asylum…why would they be taken to an asylum instead of a hospital?”

“My thoughts exactly. Unless it was part of the set up…”

“Set up? What set up and why do I have the feeling this will require an entire bottle of aspirin?”

“Well, Jim and I found out it was a set up when we received a typed note supposedly from Artemus requesting a meeting in the alley. Jim thought they might have discovered who Artemus really was and since we thought he might be in trouble we went to the meeting. And, sir, there really wasn’t time to get word to you.”

“And had they discovered Artemus’ true identity?”

“Apparently. Just as I was about to help Jim he shouted Artemus’ real name…I looked up and saw one of the men hit him in the back of the head with the butt of a rifle.”

“Oh great. What happened then?”

“I saw Artemus fall forward onto James and they were swarmed over by men and in the confusion I slipped away.

“Well, at least this time we know where they were taken. Get over to the office and get some men on this right away. I’ll go and inform the President. And, Pike, you didn’t sustain any injuries did you?”

“None that need any immediate attention, sir. I just need to get out there and find those two,” Jeremy replied as he rose and left.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jim opened the door and it led to a large open courtyard. They saw the gate open and immediately ran for it. They were almost to the big iron gate when the two sides of the gate began to close. Jim sprinted forward with Artie close on his heels. They had almost reached the gate when an eerily familiar voice stopped them.

“Gentlemen, if you don’t want to be shot I suggest you stop right there,” Jim and Artie stopped but neither turned around to face their captor.

“Oh great! You do recognize that squeaky little voice don’t you, James?” Artie asked rolling his eyes.

“Sure I do, Artie…it’s none other than our dear friend Dr. Miguelito Loveless,” Jim spun around and put on his flashiest smile.

“How have you been, Dr. Loveless? I was wondering when we’d see you again.”

“I’ve been better, Mr. West. It took me a little longer than usual to escape this time. Your government must be taking a page from Mr. Gordon’s book. Their jails are getting more and more inventive and ingenious,” the little man remarked as he strode across the courtyard.

“Why thank you for your kind words, Miguelito,” Artie snickered, “I’ll try and remember to add a few new pages in your honor.”

“Oh how droll, you two are. One would think you could try to learn at least one new distraction tactic by now.”

“Why teach old dogs new tricks when the old tricks still work so beautifully?” Artie commented.

“Mr. West, you really need to curb your partner’s tongue. One day it will lead to his undoing,” Loveless growled as he scowled at him.

“Aw, Jim, did you hear that? And you said my D & D would be my undoing,” Artie clicked his tongue on his teeth.

“Look on the bright side, Artie, now you have options,” Jim commented as he slowly edged closer to the gate.

“Come now, Mr. West. No sneaking off just yet. I’m shocked and even hurt that you don’t seem to be the least bit interested in my plans, despite your usual ploy to act like you aren’t.”

“What can I say, Loveless? You’ve become predictable. You no doubt have plans to either topple the nation’s economy of topple the President,” Jim replied.

“Really, Loveless you should come up with some better material…one day we may just stop showing up to these little parties,” Artie deadpanned.

“Oh then you should be particularly interested in my newest game, gentlemen,” Loveless snickered.

“And what makes you think that?” Jim asked nonchalantly even though his curiosity was running wild.

“Because you thought this was all about the missing bearer bond paper! How delightful!” Loveless clapped his hands and smiled.

“It isn’t?” Jim asked.

“Not in the least, Mr. West. The theft was only to get your attention. I have no need for the pittance they would provide. I’ll just throw the paper on my fire,” Loveless said as he walked between and around Jim and Artie.

“Wait just a minute, Doctor,” Crocker interrupted, “We had a deal. I went out on a limb for you…” he began to protest.

“Uh oh, James, do you get the impression that all is not going well in their little corner of paradise?

“Yeah, Artie, it sure seems that way, doesn’t it?”

Doctor Loveless, I demand…” Crocker began only to be interrupted.

“You, sir are in a position to demand nothing…nor am I in a mood to grant you anything. Voltaire, remove him, his usefulness to me has ended.”

“You won’t get away with this!” Crocker shouted as Voltaire began to drag him away.

“My dear Senator, I will. As you are hardly in a position to go to the police; Voltaire, pay him then send him on his way,” Loveless turned his back on the senator and turned his concentration back to the secret agents.

“Now, gentlemen where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?”

“You were trying to convince us that your new plan is different from your usual one,” Jim supplied.

“Oh yes, the theft at the Mint was merely a ploy to get to you two gentlemen. I need reliable…witnesses…so to speak, for my experiment and who better than the top two Secret Service Agents President Grant can supply?” Loveless smirked.

“Did you hear that, Artie? Now we’re wanted as reliable witnesses…” Jim said.

“We sure do seem to be picking up in popularity, James. Maybe it’s time to consider getting ourselves an agent,” Artie retorted.

“Oh do shut up you two!” Loveless shouted as Voltaire rejoined the group.

“You paid the Senator what was due him I trust, Voltaire?”

“Yes, Doctor,” Jim and Artie exchanged worried glances.

“Now, back to you gentlemen. That is if you are through playing games.”

“I don’t know about you, Artie, but I’m done.”

“Oh yeah, sure, Jim. I’m done too. Anything to get this over with.”

“Very well then gentlemen, let’s carry on. Mr. Gordon, this will most probably interest you far more than Mr. West but I digress…”

“For some time now I have been developing a serum that will at first weaken my opponent then eventually deprive him of all his mental faculties thus rendering him under my total control.”

“Oh that does sound intriguing,” Artie commented dryly.

“So far the test subjects have not proven to be sturdy enough mentally or physically to withstand the testing,” Loveless kept talking ignoring Artie.

“So if you have test subjects what do you need us for?” Jim asked.

“Let me take a stab at this if you will,” Artie asked, Loveless bowed and waved his child-sized hand in his direction.

“I believe the good doctor needs test subjects with…how can I say this delicately…well, what the good doctor needs are guinea pigs with a bit more intelligence than his usual clientele,” Artie said.

“How very astute of you, Mr. Gordon. I had always assumed you to be the brains in your partnership.”

“Hey what about me?” Jim tried to sound hurt.

“You, Mr. West, are obviously the brawn. You charge in first, knock people around and ask your questions later,” Loveless remarked snidely.

“Artie, I do believe the doctor just insulted me.”

“Looks that way to me, Jim. What’re you gonna do about it?”

“At the moment, Mr. West, there is nothing you can do except to do as you are told. Should you choose to try some of your usual heroics, either of you, Voltaire will no doubt help you change your minds,” Voltaire grinned evilly.

“Oh now you’re just being plain rude,” Artie whined, “when have we ever not stuck around to find out how to stop one of your plots?”

“Maybe this is one plot we should decline sticking around for, pal,” Jim said.

“Oh no, gentlemen. Not only do you not have a choice but as you can see Voltaire has readied my instruments, let’s not keep him waiting, shall we?” Loveless gestured toward the two chairs that had been placed behind him.

Voltaire moved behind Jim and Artie and, with a pistol in each man’s back, he prodded them toward the chairs. Once they were seated, Voltaire removed their jackets, causing the men to shiver in the cold winter air. He then rolled up one sleeve before tying them securely to their chairs. Artie hissed as the ropes pulled tight on his wrists, reopening his wounds. Loveless walked over to stand between them and grinned like the Cheshire cat.

“Really, doctor, there was no need to tie us up,” Jim commented.

“Oh, my dear Mr. West, but there is. You see there are a few nasty side effects of my serum which I can’t seem to get rid of.”

“Oh nice, do we even want to ask what those side effects are?” Artie ventured.

“Of course you do, Mr. Gordon. Your boundless curiosity will get the better of you if you don’t.”

“The side effects are almost as interesting as the serum itself.”

“All right then, I’ll bite, doctor…just what are the side effects of this little serum of yours?” Artie asked, not sure if he really wanted to know.

[Artiespet]

“Quite nasty, I assure you,” Loveless said as he watched Voltaire inject Artie with the serum.

“First, your veins feel like they are on fire as the serum works it way through your veins. Then, when it reaches your heart, well, that’s when the fun really begins,” Loveless looked at his captive audience.

“I’m already feeling the burning,” Artie said as he turned his head toward his partner, “If the rest is as bad as this, Jim I’d decline the invitation if I were you.”

“Any chance of that, Loveless?” Jim asked, already knowing the answer.

“You should know me better than that by now, Mr. West,” Loveless admonished him.

“Voltaire, get behind Mr. Gordon, by the looks of him the medicine is just about to reach his heart.”

Voltaire quickly injected Jim with the serum and took up his position behind Artemus. Loveless waved another burly henchman over to stand behind Jim. Voltaire gripped Artie’s shoulders and held on as tightly as he could. Artie’s eyes grew wide. Suddenly he lurched forward and started thrashing about. Voltaire’s muscles knotted and he knuckles turned white from the effort to keep him still.

“One of the nastier side effects, Mr. West,” Loveless explained, “I should explain to you quickly before the serum effects you as well.”

“Oh please do,” Jim said through gritted teeth as he was beginning to feel the burning sensation in his veins.

“Once the serum hits the heart it seems to cause convulsions of sorts. The heartbeat increases dramatically, sometimes even to a fatal level,” Loveless recounted.

“You mean Artie could…”

“While that is possible, Mr. West it is highly improbable. Both you and Mr. Gordon are in far superior physical shape than that of most of my test subjects.”

“But you are right, Mr. Gordon seems to be reacting far worse than I had thought he would. Has he been feeling ill lately?”

“You should know, I have a feeling you were in that coach by the alley.”

“Oh yes, the blow to his ribs with the board and that blow to his head I do hope that won’t cause any problems with my test.”
I sure hope that blow to his ribs with the board won’t, Jim thought, thinking back to the altercation in the alley.

Artie had stopped thrashing and Jim looked over at him, not liking what he saw. Artie’s skin had taken on a gray pallor and his breathing was slow and shallow. Jim was about to try talking to his partner when he was overcome by the seizures. He gripped the arms of his chair and tried to force his body to stay in once place. Even with the muscle-bound henchman holding him, Jim lost the battle and finally gave in to the earthquake like shaking. Finally his body too began to obey him again. Jim fought for control, heaving and gasping for breath. When he finally got his breathing under control enough to speak, he turned to his partner.

“Artie…you okay?”

“Just peachy, Jim. Wait till your breathing starts to return to normal…then the fun really begins,” Artie replied through gritted teeth.

“Oh do tell, Mr. Gordon,” Loveless implored, “None of my earlier test subjects made it this far. They all seemed to perish. I am most anxious to hear about the further after effects from a genuine test subject not just what I have read.”

“Let me inject some of that stuff into you so you can find out,” Artie wisecracked.

“Now, now, Mr. Gordon…that is hardly a helpful attitude.”

“Well, right now I’m really not in a mood to feel very helpful. The shaking has stopped but now I feel like I’m being repeatedly stuck with about a thousand pins and needles. And cold…I feel incredibly cold,” Artie tried to describe his symptoms with as much detail as he could, more for Jim’s sake than for Loveless.

“Your skin is kind of gray too, pal,” Jim said.

“Yeah well you don’t look so hot yourself.”

“Gentlemen, focus if you can, please,” Loveless interrupted.

“The next phase of my experiment is the most crucial and needs to be explained right away.”

“Jim, think if we ask nice he’ll let us skip this part?”

“Something tells me the answer would be no, pal. So we might just was well listen to what the little madman has to say.”

“Very good observation, Mr. West. And you gentlemen do not want to waste any of the very little precious time you might have left debating.”

“Now, just what do you suppose he meant by that, Artie?” Jim asked his friend.

“I have no idea but I’m afraid we’re about to find out,” Artie replied.

“Gentlemen! Please stop your incessant chatter!” Loveless was quickly losing his patience with these two.

“You must stop this behavior at once or you’ll not get your next instruction in time and I would rather upset if you ruin my experiment at this stage.”

“Then by all means please go on,” Artie said, “don’t keep us in suspense.”

“The next phase of my experiment has never been tested before. I am only going on theory. You two will be turned loose on the Asylum grounds, which are quite extensive, and you will be observed as the serum works its way through your systems.”

“Oh, joy, Jim, now we’re gonna be rats in a maze,” Artie grumbled.

“I prefer to think of it as you two performing a very valuable service for me. Since this part of the experiment has never actually been done it will be interesting.”

“Just what exactly is it that you want us to do?” Jim asked; shuddering as the pins and needles feeling overcame him.

“Simple, you both will be given a map that will guide you to the antidote. Each map is different and your paths will not cross.”

“There’s an antidote to this? Loveless you ARE a heartless son of a…”

“Do not waste your time, Mr. Gordon…you have approximately 24 hours to find the antidote. One of my men will be close by each of you, watching and closely following you but you won’t know where he is or be able to find him. Nor would I waste my time trying if I were you.”

“Should you show any signs of distress, not just giving up but very genuine distress, they will quickly guide you to the antidote.”

“Isn’t that nice, the Head Cheese wants his rats to survive,” Artie snarled.

“Oh but of course, Mr. Gordon. If I had wanted you and Mr. West dead I would hardly use an experiment such as this. I would want to witness your demise first hand and not merely hear about it from an uneducated lackey.”

“Oh that’s a reassuring thought,” Artie intoned.

Loveless motioned toward the agents. Voltaire approached and untied Jim who reached immediately to rub his arms and legs. Then Voltaire untied Artie who gently massaged his chest and clenched his jaw tightly to keep his groans to himself. Jim scrutinized his partner carefully but said nothing.

“Gentlemen, here are your maps. You’ll of course not be given any food or water as I am sure you can survive off the land for a mere 24 hours.”

“Oh sure, no problem…no problem at all. You have any problems with that, Jim?” Artie asked his partner.

“Not me, Artie, it’ll be a piece of cake,” Jim replied.

“Very well then, gentlemen. I suggest you get started as the other symptoms will begin to manifest themselves shortly.”

“Other symptoms?” Jim asked.

“My guess would be that the next symptom is the nausea I’ve been feeling, Jim.”

“Right you are, Mr. Gordon. I’m only too sorry I don’t have the time to explain the others to you they are just as much fun as these first ones.”

“Oh and before I forget…you had better try and reach that antidote as soon as possible as your mental faculties will begin to grow dull,” Loveless grinned as he handed them their maps.

Jim moved to help Artie and was angered when Voltaire intervened. He looked at his partner and mumbled a hasty ‘see ya, Artie’ and left. Artie slowly pushed himself out of the chair and with a last glare at Loveless he departed.

WWWWWWWWWW

Colonel Richmond paused at the door to the President’s office positive he didn’t want to go in. All the way over, after his meeting with Jeremy, he went over the conversation he would have in his mind. And it always ended the same. He entered the office and took his seat and began briefing the President.

“They did what?!?? Grant thundered, “Colonel Richmond, I do NOT recall telling you to allow such actions.”

“In my defense, sir, you know how those two tend to take their assignments and run like hell with them…”

“Yes, unfortunately I am all too familiar with their behavior. What is being done to locate our missing agents?” Grant asked.

“Jeremy Pike was in the alley with them but he managed to escape and came straight to my hotel room. He saw a name on the side of the ambulance wagon that took them away and he’s checking on that now.”

“Good, at least we have some sort of lead. Colonel, I want these men found as quickly as possible. Denver is still a wild and largely unsettled area. Lord only knows what kind of trouble they’ll find. I’m going to extend my stay here in Denver until this is resolved,”
Grant stated.

“Sir, there’s no reason to stay beyond the end of the symposium.”

“Colonel Richmond, surely you don’t presume to tell the President of These United States what he should and should not do!”

“Not at all, sir. I was merely suggesting that you have more important things to attend to than this…I could keep you informed…”

“Colonel! That certainly sounds like you are trying to tell me how to do my job! The symposium is wrapping up several days early and since I an mot expected back in Washington yet I see no reason whatsoever why I can not stay at least until my scheduled departure date.”

“You do have a valid point, Mr. President. I will alert your security detail to stay in place. But, sir, surely you don’t intend to join the search…even you have to see the inherent danger in that.”

“I do see the potential dangers in that, Colonel. However, I had planned on staying and touring the area anyway. I see no reason to change that plan.”

“Very well, sir. And, sir, I know how you feel about the men, Gordon in particular, but you really must think about your safety first.”

“I do understand your concerns, Colonel, but you understand this…those men are like sons to me and if I can be of any help in any way in their quick and safe return then by God I will. But I will not do so on my own, only if the situation warrants. Will that suffice, Colonel?”

“Yes, sir. If there’s nothing else sir, I’ll get on these arrangements. I’ll need to bring in a few men from Golden or Boulder, I will not pull any men off your detail.”

“No that will be all, Colonel. Pull as many men as you feel necessary from those towns…just find me my agents. I have a bad feeling about this situation myself,” Richmond rose and left.
Boys, boys, boys what have you gotten yourselves into this time? Grant mused.

WWWWWWWWWW

For what must have been the tenth time in the past hour, Jim sat on a nearby rock consulting his map. He was sure he had followed his map to the letter. He marked the spot as inconspicuously as he could, hoping his observer didn’t see and took off again. If Loveless was telling us the truth about our tails they’re good, real good. All this double backing I’ve been doing I should have come across someone’s tracks besides my own. Hmm…maybe they’re watching with a spyglass. Well, whatever way they’re watching I don’t intend to continue playing Loveless’ game his way, Jim decided.

Fifteen minutes later he again came to the spot he had marked. He sat on the rock and took out his map and forced his weary mind to focus on it. Oh, Loveless, you are a sneaky little bastard, Jim grinned. I’ve figured out your game. Now it’s time to play by my rules, Jim grabbed up his map and set off in the direction he had traced.

There’s something I’m missing on this map, Artie thought, it’s staring me right in the face, I just know it! Hey, didn’t I pass that rock already? Artie stopped to examine the area. Oh yeah, that’s where I lost my lunch. Loveless what ARE you up to? This map is the key but how? Wait, I’ve got it! Oh you sneaky little devil. If I kept following this map I’d never get to the antidote. I think it’s time to turn the tables on our demented host. I just hope Jim has figured this out, Artie thought as he headed in a new direction.

“What? What do you mean they went off the map? They can’t do that…that’s not fair!” Loveless stomped around the room.

“This isn’t fair, Voltaire, it just isn’t fair!” Loveless pouted.

“You want me to go get them, boss?” Voltaire volunteered.

“No, let them play their little game within a game. Two can play at that. Voltaire I want you to do something for me…” Loveless pulled Voltaire down to his level and explained his plans, Voltaire grinned, nodded and left.

“Try to mess up my plans will you gentlemen…I think NOT! I’ll show you Mr. West and Mr. Gordon…let’s see how you deal with a game within a game within a game,” Loveless gleefully rubbed his hands together as he paced about the room.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jeremy was disgusted in his search for his fellow agents. When he had inquired as to the whereabouts of the Asylum Of The State Of Colorado he had been informed that the site was under repairs and the patients and most of the equipment had been assigned to area hospitals as had the ambulance wagons. He scoured the city banging on whatever door he was directed to, waking everyone he could trying to find his fellow agents. The sun would be rising in a few hours, but Jeremy didn’t care…he kept knocking on doors.

WWWWWWWWWW

Damn, Loveless would have to pick a night with cloud cover, snow and virtually no moonlight for his silly little games, Artie thought as he pulled his jacket as tight as he could. I don’t know how far I’ve come but I must be getting close to that shed on the map. After I get that antidote and warm up a little that little weasel is going down, Artie heard a rustling sound in the brush just ahead of him and he reached down and picked up a rock. He crept toward the bush, rock raised. Just as he approached the bush a small rabbit leapt out at him. Artie jumped back in surprise and almost fell.

“It’s a good thing for you I have no appetite at the moment,” Artie said as he scooped the animal up and stroked it, “Otherwise I’d skin you alive little guy,”

Artie patted the rabbit then leaned over and released him. He looked toward the ridge where the map indicated the shed was and wished morning would hurry up and get here so he could actually see his goal. He grumbled when he had to stop yet again to throw up. Damn you, Loveless! That antidote had better be there, this is a good four hour climb for a man in good condition not to mention one in my condition.

Jim looked up the mountainside to the ridge where he knew the shed to be and cursed the darkness. Loveless, you certainly live up to your name. No one with an ounce of human compassion could devise a game like this. He too had stopped to lose the meager contents of his stomach. He used the map to wipe his mouth then tossed it aside. Heaving a heavy sigh he set out again toward his goal. I sure hope Artie’s okay. My own symptoms have intensified and I’m beginning to feel lightheaded and a little dizzy, Jim reached out to pull himself up the mountain and missed.

Before he could get his eyes to focus, he had slid back down about 20 feet. He cursed, stood up and brushed himself off and discovered he had received a deep cut to the palm of his left hand. He tore a strip of cloth from his shirt tail, wrapped it around his hand and continued on.

I hope Jim is having a better time of this than I am. What am I saying of course he is…the man’s an insufferable health nut! Day in day out…eat right, exercise, go on missions, sleep and get up the next day and do it all over again. Sometimes I’d just like to hit that man up along side the head with some of those boards he breaks…Whoa, where did THAT come from? Must be yet another side effect of that serum. Artie sat down on a rock and pulled out his ever present journal and pencil. He squinted to make out the page and quickly made a notation about his new symptoms.

After he finished his journal entry he put his journal away and frowned, Why would Loveless leave me my journal and pencil yet he takes everything else? Hrmph, he must have counted on me making notes for his amusement, the pompous little ass! Artie angrily lurched to his feet and headed up the path.

“What is the latest on our agents?” Loveless asked Voltaire.

“They are making their way up the mountain, boss. At this rate they will reach the shed well before the deadline,” Voltaire replied.

“Good…I can hardly wait for the reports when they discover my little twist. What about the agents themselves? Are they exhibiting any more symptoms?”

[Artiespet]

“Yes, Doctor, they are both stopping frequently to vomit and Mr. Gordon seems to have developed a most interesting symptom,” his aide consulted a clipboard before continuing.

“At approximately injection plus five hours Mr. Gordon began to exhibit signs of anger.”

“Anger? Explain.” Loveless demanded.

“He began muttering to himself, throwing rocks, and, according to his observer who had to move in rather close, Mr. Gordon seemed to be becoming more and more irritated with his partner.”

“Artemus Gordon, Mr. West’s sworn protector and babysitter is ticked off with his partner? Oh, this is a most pleasant side effect.”

“I wonder how long until Mr. West begins to exhibit this symptom. It will be most interesting to see how they react to one another when they meet up at the shack…most interesting indeed.”

“Mr. President, the Colonel left explicit instructions that if you wanted a buggy or horse we were not to comply with the request until he was notified,” the guard at Grant’s door informed him.

“Son, I am the President am I not?”

“Yes, sir,” came the timid reply.

“Well then as the President any order I give supercedes any order given by Colonel Richmond. Now go and get several men on horseback and ready a buckboard for me.”

“Yes, sir. Uh, sir, you are going looking for them missing agents ain’t ya?”

“I promised Richmond I wouldn’t go looking for them but if, while we are out, we should happen to run into them I see no reason why we can not help them,” Grant winked at the soldier as he rushed off to carry out his orders.

“Man, I knew working for this President would never be dull,” the soldier commented as he ran down the hall.

“I’d love to be a fly on the wall when Richmond arrives and sees I’m gone. I think I’ll leave him a note that ought to get his juices flowing,” Grant chuckled.

Richmond arrived shortly after sunrise, and stopped just short of the President’s suite. The guards were not stationed outside the door. He rushed to the door and knocked. When he received no answer, he used his passkey and entered the suite, quickly conducting a check of all rooms. When he returned to the outer room he noticed the note on the desk. He strode over to the desk and tore open the envelope, his eyes scanned the page then he crumpled it and tossed it onto the desk.

WWWWWWWWWW

The sun had finally risen and was bright even though it wasn’t warming the cold, crisp winter air. Jim pulled his jacket tighter around him and trudged on, glad for the light. He noted that the vomiting seemed to have stopped again, whether it was from lack of stomach contents or the serum losing it’s staying power he neither knew nor cared. I hope I get to that antidote before Artie, if anyone deserves that antidote it’s me. I do all the hardest parts of our missions while Artie just stands around doing nothing, Jim muttered as kicked at some small rocks in his path. Whoa, James, where the hell are those thoughts coming from? Artie’s the best thing that ever happened to you. Get a grip…this has to be part of the side effects. Jim turned and looked down the mountain, hoping his higher elevation would give him a chance to locate his observer.

He wanted to put an end to this game once and for all, when he spotted movement about half a mile behind him. He stopped climbing and crouched down behind a rock. He peeked over the rock as the figure slowly made it’s way up the mountain, head bowed low. Jim ducked and waited until the figure walked past him then he launched himself onto the figure, knocking them both to the ground.

The man grunted, rolled over and began swinging. He connected solidly with Jim’s jaw, which sent him sprawling backward. The man jumped on top of Jim and began hitting him about the head and shoulders. Acting on instinct, Jim, working his arms free, began pounding on the man’s rib cage. The man groaned and rolled off him, trying to protect his already broken and battered ribs. Jim jumped back onto the man and just as he was about to hit him, realization set in and he saw who it was and froze. The man took this opportunity to swing at him again. Jim blocked the swing and held the man’s arms down.

“Artie! Stop! Artie, it’s me!” Jim shouted. Artie froze momentarily.

“Jim?” Artie questioned squinting against the sunlight.

“Yeah, pal, it’s me,” Jim smiled as he rose off his friend and extended his hand to help him up.

Artie accepted the offered hand but stayed bent over for a moment. He straightened slowly and avoided his partner’s gaze.

“Hey, pal, are you okay?” Jim asked concerned.

“Yeah, Jim, I’m fine. I just had some heavy weight lifted off my chest,” Artie replied with his best smile.

“You don’t look so good, pal, but you sure are a sight for sore eyes,” Jim commented as they sat on some nearby rocks.

“You don’t look so hot yourself, pal,” Artie commented.

“Jim, we might have a problem…”
“What that, pal?” Jim asked.

“After the vomiting stopped, I started experiencing…well, I…” Artie didn’t want to finish.

“You starting feeling less than appreciative of your partner?” Jim supplied.

“Well…uhm…yeah…I’m really sorry, Jim.”

“Don’t worry about it, Artie, it’s the serum. I had those same thoughts. Pal, we can get through this. Have you experienced any other symptoms?” Artie thought carefully before answering.

“Other than wanting to bash your head in not really. It’s getting harder to resist that urge but at least I stopped throwing up…much more of that and I’d help the serum do it’s dirty work,” Artie chuckled as he held his ribs and gently rubbed them.

“You aren’t holding anything back are you, pal? That would piss me off to no end.”

“Honest, Jim. I’m not holding back anything about the symptoms of the serum. And I resent you implying that I would,” Artie glared at his partner.

“Whoa we need to calm down…the serum is trying to rear it’s ugly head.”

“Yeah, you’re right. What do you say we screw with Loveless and go get that antidote together?”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Jim smiled.

They slowly made their way up the mountainside with Jim in the lead. How come Jim always get to take the lead? Artie asked himself, When we get this over with Jim and I need to have a long talk…my ribs are killing me, Jim probably broke a few of them in that alley …and fighting with him just now sure didn’t do them any good. Climbing this mountain is hell but no way in hell am I going to say anything to that sanctimonious bastard. Brother am I getting tired of this attitude and I just don’t seem to have the energy to fight it off. They were nearing the top of the ridge and they again entered a wooded area. They trudged on in silence for a time before entering a clearing where Jim spotted the shack. He slowed his pace and crept around the clearing to get a full view of it. He told Artie to wait by a log while he checked the shack for any possible booby traps.

Artie gratefully sank onto a fallen tree, panting. He reached up and wiped his forehead, noting that he was feeling sick to his stomach again. He leaned over the log and threw up, spewing blood everywhere.

“Jim!” Artie shouted holding his ribs.

“James! You better find that antidote NOW! There’s a new symptom I really don’t like! JAMES!” Artie shouted as he slid off the log and landed with a thud on the ground.

Jim came barreling out of the shack and raced toward his friend, all thoughts of anger gone; replaced by fear. He grabbed his partner as he began to convulse. Jim laid his back against the log and removed his jacket, throwing it over Artie then holding him tightly. When he stopped thrashing, Artie slowly opened his eyes and looked at his partner.

“What the hell just happened?” Artie asked, confused.

“I went into the shack to check for booby traps and get the antidote when I heard you screaming. I came out and found you having convulsions,” Jim checked his partner over, frowning when he winced at the light touch on his chest.

“I remember throwing up over there,” Artie pointed behind the log, “then I don’t remember anything else until now,” Artie said shivering.

“What about you, Jim? I seem to recall it started with profuse sweating and lightheadedness. You should have started feeling that by now.”

“No, pal, I’m feeling pretty good actually. I did feel sick for a minute then it seemed to pass. Now I’m just tired and cold.”

“Cold? Like a bone jarring cold or just cold, cold?” Artie was all business now.

“Kind of bone jarring. It’s like I don’t think I’ll ever be warm again,” Realization struck Artie.

“Oh God, Jim! Here let me give you your coat back,” Artie pulled himself up onto the log and handed him his coat.

“You sure you don’t need it, pal?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine, you deserve to be warm too. Hey did you get the antidote?”

“The antidote? Oh yeah, I almost forgot. No, it wasn’t there, pal. All I found was this note,” Jim passed it to Artie.

Gentlemen,
I discovered you cheated and I would have thought better of the dynamic duo! Since you chose to change the rules of my little game, I have decided to play by your rules. I have removed the antidote from this location and brought it back to my lab. Now, now, gentlemen, don’t get upset after all it IS your fault.
You have about three hours to take the trail back down the mountain. Oh and one more thing I have discovered about my serum…our dear Artemus, being slightly older than James, will take the brunt of the symptoms. You, Mr. West, being in top physical shape, there is a chance you will miss most of the latter stage symptoms if you reach the antidote in time.
I am sure Mr. Gordon has figured this out already unless the serum is too far advanced, but the more active you are the faster the toxin works its way through your system. So good luck, gentlemen, I eagerly await your arrival.
Dr. Loveless

Artie crumpled the letter and threw it to the ground. Jim stared at his partner for several long moments before breaking the stony silence.

“Artie…”

“Don’t start, Jim. And don’t blame yourself for this either or I’ll let the serum take over and beat the crap out of you,” Artie’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Artie, you read that letter…we’ve got to get you to that antidote and fast.”

“How do you propose we do that, Jim? We have no horses or any other way of traveling but on foot.”

“I know, pal. But you can’t walk back there. It could kill you.”

“I know that, Jim, but since we don’t have a choice I do have a suggestion,” Artie looked hesitantly at his partner.

“Don’t even think it, pal. I’m NOT leaving you here!” Jim stated forcefully.

“Jim, you don’t have a choice. And I don’t mean to stay here. You go on ahead and get that antidote. After you take it bring some back for me. I’ll keep heading towards the Asylum…but if we stay together I could slow you down too much.”

“But, Artie…”

“Damnit, Jim…you’re wasting time standing here arguing. Just go, I’ll be right behind you,” Artie’s expression softened, “honest, Jim.”

“I don’t like this one bit, pal. And I’m going to come back as fast as possible so you take your time,” Jim and Artie’s gaze locked for a moment then Jim turned and headed off at a brisk jog.

WWWWWWWWWW

“Soldier pull up!” Grant shouted.

The group halted and Grant stood in the front of the buckboard, peering down the trail. The soldier next to him took out a spyglass and handed it to the President, who looked in it, lowered it then looked at the surrounding area.

“Captain,” Grant called to one of the soldiers on horseback.

“Yes, sir?” he replied.

“Ride ahead and pick up that man. That’s James West! And find out where Mr. Gordon is,” the Captain rode off at a full run.

“Soldier, lets get moving, but not at the same speed as your Captain, I would like to get there in one piece,” Grant muttered as the soldier gave the horses their reins and hurried after his Captain.

WWWWWWWWWW

Artie walked down the path until he reached the road, grateful for the level surface. He was tired, bone tired and he felt like he had been walking for weeks. He heard a sound in the distance that sounded like a buckboard and several horses. Thankful he had only just entered the road and couldn’t have been spotted as yet, he quickly got off the road and crouched down behind a bush. He waited until the wagon passed him then he rose and set off again in the direction of the Asylum. Thinking it would be better if he left Jim some sort of marker, Artie tore a piece of cloth from his shirt and tied it to a bush after hastily scribbling a note on it for his partner.

“Halt, sir!” The Captain yelled ahead to the man jogging down the road.

Jim stopped, turned and grinned when he saw the soldier. He ran back to him and after a hurried conversation, the Captain pulled him up behind him and they headed back toward the President.

When they reached Grant, Jim jumped off the horse even before the Captain could stop it, and he ran to Grant’s wagon.

“Mr. West!” Grant called.

“Sir, there’s no time to explain…we’ve got to get to the Asylum! We’ve got to save Artie!” Jim spoke rapidly.

“Whoa son, slow down and tell me from the beginning.”

“There isn’t time, sir. We were both…Artie’s…wait…sir, didn’t you pass Artie on the road?” Jim immediately became alarmed.

“No, James, we saw no one until I saw you. Are you sure Artemus was on the road?”

“He should have been by now. We met up on our way to get the antidote and he made me head back to the asylum without him. He promised…”

“Antidote? What’s this antidote you keep talking about and why is it so important? Come on, son, think clearly,” Grant said.

“Loveless injected us with some kind of new serum he’s been working on. Artie’s older so it’s affecting him worse than me. He wasn’t looking too good when I left him.”

“Then that ass Loveless sent us on a treasure hunt for the damned antidote but when we reached it he had taken it and left a note telling us that we had to go back to the asylum.”

“Sir, we’ve got to hurry the intense anger is coming back and I don’t know if I can fight it off this time. We’ve got to hurry. The more active we are the faster the serum works. Artie got injected before me…we’ve to go find him and get that antidote,” Jim was becoming more and more agitated and his breathing harsh.

“James, calm down,” Grant spoke to a nearby soldier, “Send a man back to find Mr. Gordon. Tell him to approach him with great caution, if he’s worse off than Mr. West here, he could be a handful. When you find him head down this road straight for the Asylum.”

“Yes, sir,” the soldier rode off quickly.

“There, James, that man will find Artemus and bring him to us. Now, just calm down and tell me what happened while we ride to the Asylum.”

Grant took the reins from the solider and had him move to the back of the wagon. Grant slapped the reins against the horse and stared toward the Asylum. Jim leaned back and closed his eyes as he recounted their encounter with Loveless. Grant listened intently, the look on his face hardening. When Jim began describing the side effects of the drug, Grant look at him in shock…My God, what these two have been through. Dr. Loveless is indeed a madman who needs to be dealt with on a more permanent basis! They rode on in silence, Jim with his head tilted back; Grant with his eyes trained on the road, a look of pure hatred in them.

[Artiespet]

Artie was sure he was still headed in the general direction of the Asylum. He kept tearing bits and pieces off of his shirt and tying them to the branches at varying intervals. He was becoming so tired and worn out he began wandering back and forth. Artie sat on a rock as he removed another piece of cloth from his shirt and leaned forward to tie the cloth to a nearby tree branch. He missed the branch and landed with a thud on the ground. He tried to rise and nearly passed out at the searing pain in his chest.

“Damnit!” he cursed as he rolled onto his back.

“I’ve got to keep going…I’ve got to get to Jim and that antidote,” Artie lay there for a few minutes waiting for the pain to subside.
Holding his right side, he rolled to his knees, staying there for a moment. He steadied himself on a rock as a wave of nausea and dizziness swept over him. After his world stopped spinning, Artie slowly rose and once again headed off muttering a muffled ‘I’m on my way, Jim’.


WWWWWWWWWW

Grant pulled the reins, stopping the buckboard as he signaled for the soldiers to do the same. They grouped around the buckboard to get their instructions.

“Gentlemen, we have ourselves a rather delicate situation here. James is not fit to lead you but he is the only one who knows where Dr. Loveless may be hiding in that Asylum. And Loveless has the antidote we must get,” Grant pointed to two men.

“I want you to go with Mr. West, guard him well and get that antidote. Bring back enough for Mr. Gordon as well,” pointing to another soldier he added, “you go back and join in the search for Mr. Gordon. If you find him get him back here yesterday!” The soldier didn’t even bother to salute as he rode off at top speed.

“Sir, what do you want me to do?” the remaining soldier asked.

“WE have the hardest task of all. We get to wait. I don’t want all of us to go riding in to that Asylum…it might spook Dr. Loveless and get James and Artemus killed.”

“But there is nothing that says we have to wait right here,” an idea formed in Grant’s mind, he prodded the horses over to the side of the road and got down.

“We need to search the immediate area. We can start on this side of the road and if we don’t go too far Richmond will have no reason to complain.”

“Mr. Gordon is out here somewhere and if Mr. West is right about where he and Artemus separated then he should be in the vicinity.”

They left the road and began their search, the soldier keeping the President within eyeshot at all times. Grant turned his attention to the area directly in front of him. He searched for tracks or any signs that Artemus had been through the area, Could he have gotten past us without us seeing him? Grant wondered, he was deep in thought when he heard a shout.

“Mr. President, sir! Come quick, sir!”

WWWWWWWWWW

Jim and the soldiers with him stopped by the iron gates to the Asylum. All of the alarm bells were going off in Jim’s head. The gate was not only unlocked but wide open. Jim strode through the gates and ran to the nearest building. He motioned the soldiers to follow. Then Jim looked into a window.

The room was empty. They looked in all the rooms on that side then proceeded cautiously to the other. When they had made their way back round to the front of the building Jim looked like he would explode. There didn’t appear to be any trace of Loveless. They entered the building and Jim headed for the room they had been held in.

There, waiting on a stool was another note from Loveless. Jim tore it open and read it.

Gentlemen,
Iif you are reading this then you made it back in time, unless of course Mr. West was the only one to make it back. In that unfortunate case, please accept my condolences. In any case, you who have survived, have played the game beautifully and I will award you with the antidote. You will find the antidote in the cupboard behind the nurse’s desk at the end of the hallway. It must be administered in three doses over a period of 24 hours. I would suggest injecting Mr. Gordon first as he was the first injected.

By now he should be exhibiting signs of depression as I am told that is the last symptom…which often leads to disastrous results. Sorry I did not stay my dear Mr. West but when your observers informed me you cheated yet again by getting help from President Grant no less…I chose to cheat again and I took my leave. He who runs lives to fight another day. Then well shall see who the victor is.

Loveless

P.S. Enclosed you will find the instructions for the antidote.

Jim read the note has he ran down the hall. He vaulted the desk and tore open the cupboard. The sight nearly reduced him to tears. There was a large vial with red liquid in a rack surrounded by hypodermic needles. Jim rested his head on the cupboard and sighed with relief.

“I’m on my way, pal, hang in there,” Jim whispered as he grabbed the rack.

His hands were trembling and his legs felt like cooked spaghetti. A soldier stepped forward and took the rack from him. They led him out the front door and to their horses. They climbed up and raced off, the soldier cradling the antidote as if it were a baby. Jim had refused to let them inject him, insisting they get back to his partner.

They rode up to the buckboard and Jim fell more than jumped off his horse. The nearest soldier helped him to the buckboard. Finding it empty, Jim was immediately alarmed.

“Mr. President?!” Jim shouted.

“James!” came the muffled answer from somewhere off the road to his left.

“Sir!” Jim shouted as he ran.

He was dismayed when he reached the President’s location only to find they had not found his partner yet. Grant quickly filled him in and Jim insisted on joining the search. Grant quickly vetoed the idea; saying that Jim was infected himself and the search would only speed up the toxins. He had a soldier accompany him back to the buckboard to wait. The other soldiers join in the search for Artemus.

Unable to keep going Artie had slumped down by a rock and leaned his head against it. Closing his eyes he sighed heavily. I’m sorry, Jim, I tried the best I could. This time my best just isn’t good enough. I failed you big time…I only hope you can forgive me. Artie’s head rolled to the side and his slumped over, his skin cold and clammy, his breathing shallow and rapid with a slight blue tint to his lips. He never heard the commotion that took place seconds later.

Jim jumped down from the tailgate of the buckboard when he heard the soldier shout. He ran on unsteady legs toward the group. He slammed to a halt when he reached them. Grant was sitting cross-legged on the ground, holding Artemus in his arms. Jim took in his partner’s appearance and his heart stopped beating. He dropped to the ground beside the President and his partner, tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

“He’s not…is he…is…” Jim couldn’t bring himself to voice what he feared most.

“Not yet, James, but I don’t know if we are in time to save him,” Grant spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Maybe I can help,” both men looked up through tear filled eyes.
“Doctor Evans, what are you doing here?” Grant asked.

“One of your men rode into town and told me what was happening. Knowing these two as I do I came right away.”

“Excuse me, sir, but I need to get at Mr. Gordon.”

“Do you want me to carry him back to the buckboard?”

“Judging by the looks of him there isn’t time.”

Evans scanned the note Jim handed him and grabbed the vial and a syringe. He carefully measured the medicine and ripped off Artemus’ coat, lifting an eyebrow at his torn shirt. He stuck the needle into his arm and pushed the lifesaving elixir into his veins. He spotted the bruising on his chest and pulled his shirt back. Jim gasped.

“Mr. West, when did he break his ribs?” Evans asked.

“I have no idea, doctor. I didn’t know…Artie didn’t tell me,” Jim replied.

“Harold, you need to inject James as well. He was given that serum too,” Grant said, his mind snapping to attention.

“What? Oh yes,” Evens readied another dose of the antidote.

“Mr. West, what do you mean Mr. Gordon didn’t tell you? You mean to tell me he’s been wandering around this wilderness with broken ribs for Lord knows how long?”

“Yes, doctor. Unless something happened to him while we were separated he must have broken them in that alley…when I…” Jim’s voice faltered.

“Don’t worry about that right now, Mr. West. Sir, we need to get them to a hospital immediately. They need to be immobile until this wears off.”

“Evans, you help James, I’ll get Artemus to the buckboard.”

“No! I will carry Artemus,” Jim tried to rise only to find two soldiers holding him back.

“Son, I’ve got Artemus…you wont do him any good if you die trying to play his protector,” Grant said, Jim merely nodded.

“This will only take a minute, Mr. West, then I want the soldiers to carry you to the buckboard and you can be with Artemus.”

“I don’t need…” Jim began.

“Mr. West, you need the toxin to slow down enough for the antidote to do its work and neutralize the toxin.”

Evans injected the antidote into Jim and motioned the soldiers forward. They made a chair with their arms and Jim sank into it. Truth be told, he didn’t think he could have made it himself. He was very tired and before he could succumb to the overwhelming desire to sleep he had to make sure his partner was all right. When they reached the buckboard, Jim pulled himself off the soldiers and didn’t resist when one grabbed him to steady him when he swayed.

Jim watched as Grant covered Artie with a blanket and carefully and gently tucked it around him. Jim was sad to note that his partner’s lips still had a blue tint to them. He waited for the President to climb into the front and take a seat before he allowed the soldiers to help him into the buckboard. He insisted on sitting up with his back against the front seat so he could keep an eye on Artie.

Evans finally acquiesced, knowing how stubborn he was. Evans worked his way between the two men, reaching over and covering Jim with a blanket. He hoped Artemus would be alive when the time came to administer the next dose. Evans looked over at Jim, not surprised to find him asleep. He smiled when he saw Jim’s hand underneath his partner’s blanket and it appeared he had a death grip on his shoulder. He wished there was more he could do to help but until they reached the hospital he was virtually powerless to help.

The trip to the hospital was thankfully fairly uneventful. A few times Jim stirred but never fully woke. Evans was concerned that Artemus never did more than turn his head from one side to the other. When they arrived at the hospital a soldier ran in to get stretchers and medical staff. They gently unloaded the patients and the hospital staff tried not to stare when the President insisted on taking one end of one of the stretchers. They got inside and Evans quickly filled the doctor in and was mildly surprised to learn the doctor knew about the serum.

“Mr. President, I’m going to have to ask you to step outside while I examine the patients. You can wait in my office…Nurse, please show the President to my office and get him anything he needs.”

“Ye…yes sir…” the nurse stammered as she showed Grant from the room.

A long time later, Jim woke and was both startled and confused. His last memory had been in the back of the buckboard and now he found himself in a soft warm bed. ARTIE! Jim sat up and looked around. Artie was nowhere in sight. Oh no…no…no…God NO! Jim’s mind screamed. He threw back the covers and stumbled to the door. Pulling it open he grabbed a passing nurse, startling her.

“Miss, I need to know about my partner. I need to know about Artemus Gordon.”

“Sir, you need to get back in bed,” the nurse replied sternly as she tried to maneuver him back into the room.

“No! I need to see my partner!” Jim struggled against her, pushing her aside.

“Orderly!” she shouted and an orderly showed up out of nowhere.

“Put this patient back in his bed. Restrain him if you have to,” the nurse glared at Jim then stormed off.

“Come on, pal. Let’s get you back in bed where you belong,” the orderly said.

“You’re NOT my pal! I have to find out how my partner is.”

“Yeah, yeah sure thing as soon as you’re back in bed,” the orderly tried again.

Fearing the worst, Jim’s instinct to fight kicked in and he pushed the orderly away and tried to make his way down the hall. The orderly got to his feet and again tried to steer him back to his room. This time Jim put as much forced as he could muster into a kick to the orderly’s stomach, sending him sprawling backward. The orderly rose, brushed himself off and glared at Jim.

“Okay, pal. We tried this the easy way now we do it the hard way.”

Jim was paying him no mind, he just kept going down the hall opening doors, looking for his friend. With each room his fear and agitation grew. When the orderly tried to grab him Jim turned toward him and glared. If he was going to find his partner he would have to get rid of this man once and for all. Jim punched him, knocking him down to his knees. He chopped him in the neck then kicked him square in the chest. The orderly stared blankly for a moment before falling unconscious to the floor.

Jim continued down the hall checked every room, growing more and more fearful. When he reached the nurse’s desk he leaned heavily on the desk and asked the nurse where he could find his friend. When she told him he would be given no answers until he returned to his room; Jim screamed a loud guttural noise, tipped the desk over and reached for the nurse. He had his hands wrapped around her throat, chocking her when several people emerged from a room down the adjoining hallway. They took in the scene and immediately rushed to help.

Jim felt a large hand on his arm but ignored it, he kept shouting at the nurse demanding to know where his partner was. Again the hand was on his arm and again he ignored it. Then two pairs of strong arms tried to pry him off the nurse…to no avail.

“Mr. West!” the voice thundered in Jim’s head, “You will stand down immediately!”

“They won’t tell me where Artie is!” Jim cried out.

“Let go of that woman’s throat, son, and I’ll take you to him,” the voice tried to soothe him.

“You can take me to Artie? Then he’s not…he didn’t…”

“No, son, he’s not dead. I’ll take you to him and I’m going to find out why you were not put in the room with him,” Jim finally focused on the voice.

“Mr. President, sir. I’m sorry. But no one would tell me anything about Artie. I had to know…I had to,”

“I know, son. Come with me, Artemus is in this room right here,” Grant gently pulled his hands from the nurse’s throat and pulled him toward the room.

Jim hesitantly opened the door and stuck his head inside, unsure if he could trust the people outside. He looked at the figure in the bed and his eyes widened and a smile broke out on his face. He rushed to the bed and grabbed the hand resting on top of the blanket.

“Hey, pal, I’m here,” Jim whispered, “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere,” the figure in the bed didn’t answer but Jim was certain he felt the hand grip his.

“Nurse,” Doctor Evans whispered, “have the orderlies bring in a bed for Mr. West. And I want to speak to the head nurse immediately.”

“Yes, sir,” the nurse replied as she scurried to obey.

“Mr. West, we’re fairly certain Mr. Gordon will pull through…as should you. But, Mr. West, you need rest,” Evans told him as an orderly appeared with a bed.

“Mr. West, please…your bed is here. What good will you be to him if you collapse and can’t be here when he wakes up.”

“But…” Jim began to protest only to be cut off.

“Son, listen to Harold. He only wants to help you take care of Artemus,” Grant spoke softly, “He’s right, James. You wont be of any help to Artemus if you put your own health in jeopardy. Will it help if I sit between you two? I will keep my eye on him, I promise.”

Jim stared at Grant for several long moments then lowered his head and slowly released his partner’s hand. Evans helped him get into the bed and settled back into the pillows. Grand reassured him of his promise to protect his friend. He was able to rest somewhat easier when he saw Grant reach forward and gently grasp Artie’s hand. Jim fell asleep knowing if his partner couldn’t be in his hands he was getting the next best thing.

[Artiespet]

Jim woke to a darkened room. He looked out the window to gage the time but all he saw was white. It appeared to be late night or early morning. Jim wondered how long he had been sleeping as he glanced around the room. There between him and his partner still sat Grant, his hand still encompassing Artie’s. Man, do I owe the President an apology, Jim thought, [/i]I hope I didn’t hurt that nurse or the orderly,[/i] Jim started when Grant cleared his throat.

“Sorry, son, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Grant said, “I just thought you’d want to know there’s been no real change in Artemus.”

“He hasn’t woken yet?” Jim asked alarmed.

“No, but Evans assures me that’s all right. He has stirred a few times, even called for you once or twice,” Jim sat upright in the bed.

“Just lay back down, son, you couldn’t have done anything for him and he never really woke up,” Jim leaned back into the pillows and sighed.

“It’s hard, isn’t it, James?”

“Excuse me, sir?”

“It’s hard to give up that protector role to someone else…even if you trust that person wholeheartedly.”

“Yes, sir, it certainly is. Artie means more to me than I can ever tell him. Other than my sister, I have no real family. Artie’s been that family. There’s something about him that makes me want to protect him…to protect us.”

“I understand, James. I feel the same way about him. Artemus seems to bring out the best in people. He deserves no less in return.”

“Well, now that the mutual Artemus Gordon Admiration Society is done talking about me, not that I mind, mind you, but can you stop talking so I can get some rest,” the husky and scratchy voice grumped in the next bed.

“Artie!” Jim shouted as he jumped out of his bed and swayed but Grant steadied him amid concerned looks from Artemus.

“Jim, are you okay?” Artie asked.

“Yeah, pal, I am now,” Jim beamed.

“I’ll go get a doctor, they wanted to examine you as soon as you woke, Artemus. James, don’t let him fall back to sleep until I return,” Grant quickly left in search of the doctor.

“You heard the man, Artie. No sleeping just yet, sorry.”

“Oh great, all the time you people complain I’m not getting enough sleep and now when all I want is to sleep you tell me to stay awake!” Artie grinned at his partner.

“Sorry, pal. If it were up to me I’d let you sleep for a month.”

“Yeah I know but you look like you could use a bit of sleep yourself.”

“Not until after you get checked out.”

“Jim?”

“Yeah, Artie?” Jim looked at his friend.

“I wasn’t eavesdropping but I heard what you told Grant.”

“I meant every word of it.”

“I know you did. I just wanted you to know I feel the same way. There’s no one I would rather work with than you.”

At that moment Grant returned with the doctor in tow. An orderly also entered, glaring momentarily at Jim. The doctor asked the President to leave and then turned to his patients.

“Gentlemen, I need to examine Mr. Gordon. The orderly is here only if he is needed,” the doctor directed his last comment solely at Jim.

“Uh…James…you got anything you need to tell me?” Artie asked.

“No, not right now, pal. Maybe later. Just let the doctor check you over,” Jim never took his apologetic eyes off the orderly.

“All right, but something tells me I missed one hell of a party.”

“That you did, friend,” the orderly said, “that you did.”

“Now, Mr. Gordon, I need to examine you and if you think you’re going to give me as hard a time as your friend there did…I’m sure Otis here can convince you otherwise.”

“Me? No way. I’m as gentle as a lamb,” Artie held his hands up.
“Somehow I doubt that,” the doctor chuckled.

He proceeded with his examination, Artie keeping more of an eye on his partner than the doctor. After he checked Artemus out thoroughly he replaced the blankets and made some notes on his chart. He turned toward Jim and examined him. Finally satisfied that both men would live, although they would need extensive care for a time, he asked Otis to bring the President back into the room. He saw no need to say this twice. Once Grant was seated he looked from one patient to the other then to the President.

“Gentlemen, you have been through quite an ordeal. That toxin is still in your system. It will be for some time yet.”

“While you shouldn’t feel too many lingering after effects you will feel very tired for the next month or so…”

“A month?” Jim and Artie asked in unison.

“Yes, gentlemen. Luckily for you the next week or so of that month will spent right here,” Both Jim and Artie looked like they wanted to protest.

“Uh…uh…uh, before you even THINK about protesting, that is why I asked President Grant to be present. It seems he can keep the two of you in line.”

“You two are not as indestructible as you might think. The serum used on you should have killed you and very nearly did. You go off half cocked looking for the man that gave it to you before you’re ready and you’ll wind up right back in here suffering from worse effects than you are now.”

“Not to mention, getting the full brunt of MY wrath,” Grant added.
Both men looked at each other, then to the burly orderly. They took in the stern face of the doctor, then turned to look at Grant. The look on his face alone said he meant business. Jim and Artie looked at each other again and their eyes locked. Finally they both sighed and laid back down onto the pillows.

“Doctor, I am certain you will have no further trouble from these two,” Grant said, “And neither will the nurses or orderlies,” Grand said sternly.

“No, sir,” came the timid replies.

Grant watched the patients until they were both sleeping soundly. He stared at them in turn and tried to figure out just why it was that he felt so close to these two men in particular. As far back as he could remember no two people had impacted his life in quite the same way as these two had. He rose and left the room…he thought he had better go off in search of Colonel Richmond before he came to find him.

Artie waited until Grant had closed the door softly behind him before he cracked an eye open and looked at his partner only to find Jim doing the same.

“So, pal,” Artie spoke quietly, “you think he meant it?” Both men jumped when the door flew open and Grant looked in.

“He meant every word, gentlemen. Make no mistakes, I meant every single word. If you gentlemen doubt my word I can post sentries in here to see to it that you obey.”

“No, sir, that wont be necessary,” Jim and Artie spoke in unison.

“I thought not, gentlemen,” Grant smiled, “I’ll leave you to your sleep then. And I will be kept informed of your progress so don’t get any bright ideas.”

“Yes, sir!” They replied.

“Hey, Jim, I don’t know about you but I’m bushed. I think I need a nap.”

“Me too, Artie. I could sleep for a week,” Grant left the room shaking his head.

Outside the snow continued to pile up and across the street stood a large mountain of a man holding what appeared to be a child up on his shoulder. The men in the room fell asleep totally unaware.

WWWWWWWWWW

Jeremy entered the room quietly and found Colonel Richmond there. He glanced at the two men in the beds flanking him. It wasn’t often that both James West and Artemus Gordon were out of commission at the same time let alone in this condition. Pike crept in and cautiously approached Richmond. He handed him a file and stood patiently waiting.

“Grab a seat, Pike,” Richmond said, “these two are out like lights and they probably wouldn’t wake if you tossed a stick of dynamite under their beds,” Pike grabbed a chair and sat between the beds, facing Richmond.

“How are they doing?”

“Jim is coming along quite well. He seems to be taking the treatment in stride.”

“And Artemus?”

“He was the most affected so it’s taking him longer to get over this. And that’s affecting his attitude somewhat, but the doctor tells me he’ll pull through with flying colors.”

“That is good news then.”

“Yes, it is. Now we just have to keep these two tied down so they can recuperate and not go chasing off after Dr. Loveless.”

“Why can’t we just tell them we caught him and he’s in custody?”

“You think these two would really buy that?”

“Sure, if we can convince them that the trial has been postponed until the doctor declares them fit enough.”

“Hmm, Jeremy, not a bad idea…not a bad idea at all. If I didn’t know better I’d think you’ve been taking lessons from these two,” Richmond chuckled.

“Would I do that?” Pike asked innocently.

“What makes you think we didn’t take lessons from him?” Artie asked sleepily.

“Artemus! Don’t you know it’s not nice to eavesdrop?’ Richmond rebuked, “How much did you hear?” He added hesitantly.

“Just that Jeremy had a good idea…care to elaborate, Jeremy?”

“Sorry, Artemus. The doctor doesn’t allow work talk for either of you just yet.”

“Oh come on, you know shop talk would only help speed up our recoveries.”

“Give it up, Artemus,” Jeremy said sympathetically, “this order came straight from the Old Man himself.”

“But we can tell you that Dr. Loveless has been apprehended.”

“Really?”

“Yes, he’s being held until you and Jim are well enough to testify at his trial,” Artie noted the quick glance between Pike and Richmond.

“Okay, what is it that you’re not telling me?” Artie demanded to know.

“Nothing, Artemus. Just the usual tired, Loveless rhetoric. You know, how we can’t hold him…how he’s going to get loose and start his reign of terror again etc. etc. etc.,” Jeremy lied hoping he bought it.

“But this time we’re taking no chances I assure you, Artemus, so just lay back and rest up. We’ve got everything completely under control,” Richmond lied.

“Colonel, maybe I’d better leave and get started on that paper work,” Jeremy stated as he rose.

“Yes, Pike that would be best. The President wants a full report by tomorrow.”

“Artemus, get well soon and tell James I was here. I’ll get back as soon as I can to visit.”

“Will do, Jeremy. Take care out there it’s looking nasty,” Artie called to Jeremy’s retreating back.

“So, Colonel, you going to tell me what you two were really talking about?” Artie glared at his boss.

“Artemus, I can not discuss work issues with you, so the answer is NO.”

“And if he does he will answer to me that is if the doctor leaves me anything once he’s done chewing him out,” Grant frowned as he entered the room and took Pike’s seat.

“Mr. President,” Artie said as he tried to sit up and winced, Grant waved him back.

“Lie still, Gordon. With those ribs only a fool would try to stand and salute,” Grant smiled and winked.

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir,” Artie replied gratefully.

“Artemus, did James know you were keeping your broken ribs a secret from him?” Grant wondered.

“Uh…no, not exactly, sir,” Artie replied sheepishly.

“That is something I would like to know the answer to as well, Mr. Gordon. You do know the company policy on things like this,” Richmond stated flatly.

“Uh…well, it just never came up. When we came to at the Asylum our first priority was to get out. Then Loveless injected us with that serum and separated us and by the time we met up again at the top of the ridge it just slipped my mind.”

“Slipped your mind, did it! Mr. Gordon you two are NOT above the rules. I think you need to be taught a lesson,” Grant stated.

“A lesson, sir?” Artie asked, knowing he didn’t want to know the answer.

“A stiff lesson, Mr. Gordon. What do you think, Colonel…what do you think about banning our slippery minded friend here from his lab and ANY lab related work for…oh say about a week after his release from the hospital?” Grant smirked.

“I think that’s a great idea, Mr. President,” Richmond agreed with a smile.

“Oh come on, sir! That’s not fair!” Artie protested.

“All right then how does two weeks sound?” Grant snorted.

“TWO WEEKS?!? That’s downright inhumane!”

“What’s going on, Artie?” Jim asked rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“James, good to see you awake. The President and I are just trying to come up with a suitable punishment for your partner’s secret keeping ways and it seems he is protesting,” Richmond couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

“Jim, you gotta help me out here…they want to ban me from my lab for two weeks when I get out of here!” Artie pleaded with him.

“Well, what you did was pretty stupid, pal. But in your defense being banned for two weeks does seem a bit excessive,” Jim said trying to help.

“Mr. West, do you really feel backing your partner is such a good idea? Especially since it was YOU he hit the vital information from?” Grant asked surprised.

“Oh most definitely, sir. If Artie isn’t allowed in his lab he’ll need something else to occupy his time,” Jim replied sheepishly.

“And said something would be you,” Grant finished.

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, I can see where that could pose something of a problem. How about just one week’s ban then? James, do you think you could keep Artemus entertained for one week?” Grant asked.

“I think I could manage one week, sir.”

“So it’s settled then, Artemus. You will not be allowed in your lab for a period of one week after your release from this hospital. And James, for said week you will not be allowed to wine and dine the ladies,” Grant added mischievously.

“What? Why am I being punished?”

“Mr. West, every agent in a pair is held responsible for the health and well being of his partner. You failed to notice when your partner was in distress…thus causing further damage to said partner.” Grant reprimanded him.

“In Jim’s defense, sir, I did hide it from him and well…I was just able to do a better job of acting than I thought,” Artie tried to help his partner.

“Mr. Gordon, you are in enough trouble…I suggest you stop while you still have some liberties left,” Grant admonished.

“Yes, sir…sorry, Jim, I tried.”

“It’s only a week, pal. I’m sure we can find a way to amuse ourselves,” Jim winked at his partner.

“James, the doctor informed me he may release you two in a day or so. However, he will not release you back to even light duty for at least three weeks. That means NO work related activities whatsoever. Do I make myself perfectly clear?” Grant said.

“Yes, sir,” Jim replied timidly.

“Artemus? Do you understand as well?”

“Oh yes, sir…perfectly, sir.”

[Artiespet]

“Good, now that that’s been settled. I have a country to run and I am taking my leave of you gentlemen and heading back to Washington. Please do as you are told and do try to be nice to Colonel Richmond, no one else wants his job when they find out it includes the two of you,” Grant smirked.

“Yes, sir!” They replied together.

“I think I’ll ride back to the hotel with the President…I’m sure you gentlemen would like some time alone to feel sorry for yourselves,” Richmond winked as he followed the President from the room.

“Well, Artie, what do you think?”

“I think we got off pretty easy and I think we were bamboozled.”

“Yeah, me too. Something’s up.”

“I got that impression too. You don’t think they’re lying to us about Loveless do you?"

“Why would they do that?”

“Think about it, Jim. Why are they so intent on keeping us away from our fellow agents for the next three weeks? Not to mention anything having to do with this case? I’d even put money on the fact that they don’t even have Loveless in custody.”

“You really think Grant would lie about something like that, Artie?”

“I’d bet my Great Aunt Maude on it. We have to tread rather carefully if we’re going to find out any information.”

“Artie, I can hear those wheels spinning…what do you have in mind?” Jim sat up grinning.

“We play model patients and they’ll let us out in a day or so right? Once we’re released we promised to keep each other company, right?”

“Yeah…I’m with you so far,” Jim liked where he thought this was going.

“Well, I don’t recall them saying we couldn’t go exploring the area and meeting the nice townsfolk, do you?” Artie beamed.

“Artie, I like your thinking. But don’t you think they’ll know we’re up to something if we don’t act like our typical selves?”

“Nah, we’ll just tell em we want out of here.”

“Well, it does sound like a plan and it would make the days pass quickly. But what about you, pal? What about your ribs?”

“Don’t worry we’re only going to be walking around talking to people and I’m sure we can find a few saloons to sit in. I’ll rest up I promise.”

When the nurse looked in on them she was mildly surprised to find them both asleep. The night shift had told her they had spent most of the night talking quietly. She removed their breakfast trays, making note that they seemed to be eating more with each meal. She took in the two sleeping men. One had rugged good looks and the other was just plain handsome. It’s a shame the doctor put them off limits, she thought, some might go for that rugged looking one but I’d sure like to get to know that other one. She looked again at Artie, sighed and left the room.

THREE DAYS LATER –

“Gentlemen, I must say I am mildly surprised at your behavior,” the doctor said.

“We just wanted to show you that we can behave,” Jim replied.

“Uh huh… the President’s punishment wouldn’t have anything to do with that would it?” the doctor asked, a twinkle in his eyes.

“Now that’s not fair,” Artie said, “here we are trying to be model patients and everyone thinks we’re up to something. I think my feelings are hurt…what about you, James?” Artie looked at his friend.

“Well, I’ll reserve judgment until we find out if the good doctor is springing us from his lovely establishment today,” Jim grinned hopefully at the doctor.

“No need to reserve judgment, Mr. West. I am indeed springing you today. PROVIDED Mr. Gordon promises to take it easy and get plenty of rest and you as well, Mr. West.”

“Your ribs are going to cause you some problems for a while yet. I was given a full report on you two…so Mr. West, I want your solemn promise that Mr. Gordon will take things slow and easy. His ribs won’t heal as fast as they could because of the serum and if he ends up back in my hospital both of you will feel my wrath.”

“Doctor, I promise Artie will follow your instructions to the letter and I promise I won’t leave his side unless absolutely necessary,” Jim crossed his heart with the first two fingers of his right hand.

“Hmm…I think I’m being played, but I think you two could manage to behave for one more week.”

“Mr. Gordon, I’m sending you some extra medicine. Once you start moving about those ribs are going to become quite sore. We discovered that serum takes about three weeks to wear off.”

“You’ll still need plenty of sleep, that seems to help it dissipate quicker. The more active you are the slower it will leave your body.”

“Then we’ll sleep until we never want to sleep again,” Artie stated.

“And gentlemen, I will need to see Mr. Gordon in a few days and the both of you in about a week.”

“We’ll be here, doctor,” Jim promised.

“Good, now get out of here we need these beds for real patients,” The doctor smiled as he left the room.

Jim gathered their clothes and got dressed. When he finished he helped Artie with his shirt and jacket. Jeremy had brought Artie a new shirt from the train as the hospital had thrown his other one away. They left the hospital and headed back toward the train in a hansom cab. Artie was seated across from his partner and was looking out the window, watching the town.

“Jim, have the cabby head for a hotel. Preferably one in a busy section of town.”

“Why, pal, what’s up? You okay, your ribs bothering you?”

“It’s not that. I think we’re being followed.”

Jim rapped on the roof and told the driver to head for the nearest first class hotel. They arrived at the hotel and Jim helped Artie from the cab and paid the driver. Artie made a pretense of slipping so they could get a look behind them. They couldn’t see inside the coach that had pulled up down the street but no one got out of it either.

“That tears it, Jim. We’re being followed.”

“Sure looks that way, pal.”

“What are we gonna do? We can’t go ask them why they’re following us…it could be a trap Richmond set up.”

“Yeah, I know. It looks like we’re staying at this hotel for the night at least,” They went inside.

After they checked in they sat in the hotel’s restaurant where they had a good view of the front door. They sat watching the door for some time before Jim decided their tail wasn’t willing to make itself known just yet. He looked over to his partner and saw him nodding off, something he was surprised and unhappy to find himself wanting to do. Jim reached over and tapped his arm.

“Hey, pal, our friends don’t show any signs of showing their faces tonight, so why don’t we go up and get some sleep?” At Artie’s nod they went upstairs and were quickly asleep.

WWWWWWWWWW

“Your report, please, Mr. Pike,” Richmond asked the agent.

“We think Loveless has left the area. There has been no sigh of him or any of his known henchmen since we rescued agents West and Gordon.”

“You think? Why don’t you know for certain?”

“Loveless is a pretty slippery and crafty individual, Colonel. We might have too many men out combing the area for him. If he’s still in the area he’ll just stay hidden until we stop looking. I thought if we pull the patrols back maybe we could draw him out. You know, make him think we’ve stopped looking.”

“That’s just might work. West and Gordon were released from the hospital today and I would hate for them to find out we lost Loveless.”

“All the men have been informed to steer clear of West and Gordon, sir. Should they run into them they have been instructed to tell them they are on vacation or something.”

“Hmm let’s hope they buy it. I want those two away from this case. They need rest more than anything else and come hell or high water I intend to see that they get it.”

“I understand, sir. Has the President left for Washington yet?”

“Yes, thank goodness. I wish we could have sent James and Artemus back there with him but this doctor here seems to know more about this serum than anyone else, so they might as well stay here.”

“Have we learned anything more about the serum?”

“Not much, I’m afraid. Just what we’ve been able to tell from James and Artemus’ blood.”

“We need to find Loveless then. I’ll get going and check with the other agents on this and see what they have,” Jeremy rose to leave.

“Pike, don’t forget to get some rest yourself. All I need is you AND the Dynamic Duo convalescing together,” Richmond smiled as Jeremy smiled back and left the room.

[Artiespet]

The next day Artie woke to find sunlight filling the room. He glanced at Jim’s bed and was surprised to find his partner still asleep. Generally, as soon as the sun came up Jim was wide-eyed and bushy tailed. That serum must have affected him more than he thought or wants to believe. We really have to nail Loveless this time…something on a more permanent basis, Artie thought as he lay in bed staring at the ceiling. He thought about surprising his partner by ordering breakfast sent up until he looked at the clock…it read 2 pm! Whoa, we slept nearly 24 hours?! No wonder I feel rested, Artie gasped. He moved to sit up and groaned. He had slept on his back all night as it was easier for him to breathe that way. He reached up and clamped his hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t wake Jim.

“You can remove your hand, pal. I heard you,” Jim said as he rose and crossed to Artie’s bed.

“Sorry, Jim. I didn’t mean to wake you,” Artie replied apologetically.

“No harm done, pal. Judging by the light in here I can see we both slept in a bit,” Jim chuckled as he settled on the edge of Artie’s bed.

“Yeah, what’s up with that? Did the hospital stall sneak in here and spike our water?” Artie shook his head and laughed.

“Colonel Richmond I could see, but the hospital staff…that’s hard to believe.”

“Well, apparently you didn’t leave your usual broken hearts this time; just broken nurses and orderlies…HEY you never did tell me what happened between you and that orderly.”

“Oh that. It’s not something I’m very proud of, pal,” Jim replied softly.

“If you don’t want to talk about it I understand. Just next time you have a party like that wait till you can invite me,” Artie winked at his partner.

“No problem, Artie. Now, what about breakfast?”

“Well, looking at the clock I think we’d be calling it dinner,” Artie replied as he pointed to the clock, “and a late one at that.”

“Whoa, I figured we’d sleep late but not THAT late. Yeah, I guess we could go down to dinner,” Artie moved to get up and groaned.

“Hey, pal, what do you say to ordering dinner sent up here? We can always go down for supper. We are on a sort of doctor imposed medical leave,” Jim sympathized with his partner’s pain.

“That sounds okay to me. Hey can you look out the window and see if our little friend from yesterday is back?” Jim crossed to the window and looked out.

“Well if they won’t come in here then they can just wait until we go out. Looking at the weather outside I’m in no hurry to venture out,” Jim commented.

“Maybe if we wait long enough we can draw them out…make them come in here.”

“That might work, Artie. You take your time getting dressed. I’ll get us some food,” Jim offered as he pulled his boots on.
“All right,” Artie agreed.

Jim returned to the room a short time later carrying a large tray with two covered plates, a pot of coffee and two mugs. He opened the door and entered the room. He looked around and smiled when he spied his partner on his bed, his boots and pants on, his shirt hanging open, snoring softly. Jim quietly set the tray down and approached Artie’s bed. Man, those are some nasty bruises, that’s really got to hurt, Jim thought as he took in the bruises showing over the top of his friend’s tightly bound chest as he leaned down to gently shake his friend.

“Hey, pal, wake up…food’s here.”

“Huh? What? Oh man I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Artie sat up pulling his shirt closed.

“It’s okay, Artie, that’s what we’re supposed to be doing. You’re just better at it than I am,” Jim grinned and Artie just rolled his eyes.

“Let’s eat then we can figure out how to draw our tail out,” Artie suggested.

Jim agreed but he didn’t take his eyes off the window. When he had placed the tray on the desk something outside had caught his eye. The same coach from yesterday and returned. He motioned to Artie to stay on the bed as he handed him his plate. No sense in alerting Artie just yet…they could be shopping or something. Jim grabbed his plate in one hand and the mugs and coffee in the other and went over to sit on Artie’s bed, placing the coffee and mugs on the nightstand. They ate their meal, quietly chatting, Jim trying not to look out the window too many times so as not to alert Artie. After an hour the coach was still there.

Jeremy looked up from reading the paper and looked across the street to the hotel Jim and Artie were staying in. Secretly he was glad they had chosen to stay in town and not return to the train. It made his job a lot easier. He had seen Jim at the window and quickly covered his face with the paper. Jim would kill me if he found out I was keeping an eye on them. Even in disguise they always seem to spot me. Jeremy went back to keeping an eye on the street, noting the coach across the street, the occupant mostly hidden from view by a heavy drape seemed to be staring intently at the hotel.

Gentlemen, this is unacceptable…totally unacceptable. We have 20 agents combing the countryside and we can’t find one little man?” Richmond slammed his hand down on the tabletop.

“Sir, we are fairly certain Loveless is still in the area…we’ve spotted Voltaire around town buying supplies and things. But somehow he always manages to slip past our tail.”

“Well, see to it that he stops being so slippery. He’s a giant for pete’s sake.”

“Yes, sir,” the agents around the room replied.

“James and Artemus are going to catch on sooner or later and I would like it to be AFTER we’ve apprehended Loveless. Unless any of you would volunteer to sit in for me when I have to meet with the President and tell him that my agents failed.”

“No, sir!”

“Well, then let’s get out there and find the demented little man and soon.”

“Sir,” one agent raised his hand.

“Yes, Johnson?”

“How are agents West and Gordon? Have they found anything more about that serum?” The other agents stopped their exits to hear the answers.

“I have Jeremy Pike keeping tabs on them and he says from what he’s been able to see they appear to be spending a lot of time sleeping. The doctor assures me this is a good thing so hopefully they are well on the road to recovery.”

“As for that serum…that is another reason we need to find Loveless. We can’t risk him giving that stuff to anyone else. That serum is rather nasty stuff. It causes convulsions, nausea, vomiting, feelings of anger and depression. And those are only the symptoms we know about.”

“We’ll find Dr. Loveless, Colonel, and we’ll get that serum,” One agent vowed as they filed from the room.

WWWWWWWWWW

Artie woke, somewhat displeased, to find he had fallen asleep again as had his partner. He clenched his teeth and swallowed back a groan as he sat up. The sun had dropped and it was dark outside. Artie sat on the edge of the bed contemplating getting up. He looked at the clock, noting it was 7 pm. Deciding he couldn’t put it off any longer, he rose and went to the sideboard. He rinsed his face in the cool water and ran a hand over his chin. Deciding shaving would wait, especially since he didn’t have anything to shave with, he crossed to the window and looked at the street below.

All he saw was snow, snow and more snow piled high on the street. He thought he saw the coach from yesterday. He leaned forward to get a closer look and noticed a man staring up at him. What the…that’s Jeremy! I’d recognize that face in any disguise, Artie thought.

“Hey, Jim…you awake?” Artie whispered.

“Yeah, pal, what’s up?”

“Guess who got assigned to play babysitter for us?”

“What? How do you know we’re being watched?” Jim wanted to know.

“Remember that San Francisco assignment we did with Jeremy last year? Well, our friend is disguised as a miner again,” Artie replied somewhat angrily.

“Why would they waste someone like Jeremy watching us?”

“Simple, Jim. They lied…they ALL lied! From Grant all the way down the line to our fellow agents…every damned one of them has lied to us about Loveless. They don’t have him in custody waiting for trial,” Artie crossed to Jim who was pulling his boots on.

“I don’t know about you, Jim, but I’m going to turn the tables on them,” Artie spat as he grabbed his jacket.

“Whoa, there, partner. Just what are you planning?”

“I’m just going to the train to get us some clothes and things. I’d rather spend a few days in town than on the train. Besides, it’ll be better if we look like we’re trying to obey the doctor’s orders,” Jim saw the look of determination on his friends face and knew better than to try and stop him.

“How are you getting to the train, Artie? I thought the doctor said no riding for at least a month?”

“Calm down, dad. I’ll have the clerk rent me a buggy. We do need some clean clothes so I don’t see the Colonel having a fit about my going to get them.”

“You have a point there, Artie. Okay you get us a buggy and we’ll go get some clean clothes,” Jim replied.

“Not so fast there, Mr. Fancy Pants. I am going to the train…YOU are going down to the street to have a word with our friend Pike. I don’t trust myself to go at the moment.”

“Oh…sure I can handle that,” Jim replied with a grin.

“Jim, remember Jeremy is a fellow agent and a friend…don’t be too rough on him,” Artie chuckled.

“All right, pal, as long as you remember to stay out of your lab.”

“Cross my heart, Jim” Artie grinned as he pulled his jacket on and left the room.

Jim pulled his jacket on and looked down into the street. He found Jeremy sitting in a chair outside the hotel across the street. Jim wondered how Artie planned to get past him then decided he could slip out the back and provide his partner with a distraction. Jim quickly left the hotel after telling Artie his plans.
Jim snuck across the street and came up around the back of the hotel through the alley. When he peeked around the corner of the building, Jeremy was still seated in the chair reading the paper. Jim slipped onto the porch and stepped up behind him.

“Didn’t your mother teach you it’s not polite to watch other people, mister?” Jim snarled as he grabbed Jeremy and pulled him into the alley.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mister,” Jeremy protested as Jim stole a glance across the street to see Artie climb into a buggy and head off toward the train.

“You been watching my room all day and I don’t like it!” Jim slammed Jeremy against the wall.

“What ARE you talking about?”

“Jeremy, Artie and I saw through your little disguise so can the innocent act. Why are you watching? And more importantly for WHOM are you watching us?”

“Look, Jim, I’m just following orders.”

“Let me guess, Richmond’s orders,” Jim griped as he spied the drapes moving in the coach across the street.

“He said they came straight from President Grant.”

“Then tell me something. WHY do they feel we need to be watched? We aren’t in any danger or are we?” Jeremy just stared at him.

“Come on, Jeremy, just level with me…agent to agent.”

“Jim, I want to but I can’t…” Jeremy was torn between loyalty to his friend and his job.

“Fine then…I’ll guess and you just nod your head,” Jeremy stared at him for a moment then nodded his head.

“All right then. Artie and I figure they have you babysitting us more than just keeping en eye out for our welfare us right?”
Jeremy nodded.

“And we think you don’t even have the good Dr. Loveless in custody do you?” Jeremy couldn’t look Jim in the eye as he shook his head no.

“Damnit, why are they lying to us? We deserve better than this,” Jim released his hold on Jeremy.

“Colonel Richmond said the order came from Grant’s office. He didn’t want you two to know because he was afraid you’d want to join in the search.”

“My first priority is making sure my partner gets well. THEN we’ll see about Loveless.”

“James, please, you two have got to stay away from this one. I’ve never seen Grant or Richmond so upset before. Especially Grant…he warned that he would personally oversee the court-martial of any agent that helps you. He wants you both to get better before you try tangling with Loveless again.”

“New intelligence came in about that serum and it has Grant and the doctor’s worried.”

“What new intelligence?”

“It seems that the serum doesn’t just have to be given through injection. If it’s distilled properly it can be ingested.”

“Nice…so all that demented dwarf has to do is put it in something like the water supply…”

“That’s about the size of it, Jim. The Colonel thought if you knew that there would be no way we could keep you away from this.”

“My partner comes first, THEN Loveless. But I’ll try to keep Artie out of it as long as I can. We might have something else to occupy our time anyway.”

“See that coach down the street? Whoever is sitting in that coach followed Artie and I from the hospital to the hotel and they’ve been parked there for the better part of the day.”

“I noticed that this morning. I tried to get a look inside when I walked past but the curtains are drawn. You don’t think it’s Loveless do you?” Jeremy theorized.

“I’m not sure but tonight I intend to find out.”

“James, you’re under orders…”

“I know that, Jeremy. But right now we don’t even know if that is Loveless or if they are stalking Artie and me. I’m going to check it out and if it’s something more than a case of mistaken identity or something then no harm done.”

“All right that sounds fair enough. I’m in room 7 if you need me. What if it is Loveless, Jim, what then?”

“Just keep your eyes peeled around 9 pm. Artie should be back by then and…”

“What? Artemus is gone? Where did he go?”

“He left in a buggy for the train. He went to get us some clean clothes.”

“He really shouldn’t have left alone.”


Artie stepped down from the buggy and entered the train. It felt good to be home even if only for a short time. He strode through the train, trying hard to steer clear of his lab. He went into Jim’s room first and packed a bag full of clothes for his partner. Then he proceeded to his room and packed a few things. He took the time to shave and, feeling more like his old self, he looked around to see if he had forgotten anything.

He spied a kit he had been assembling before their last mission, smiling, he put it into his bag. He made two trips to the buggy with the bags, Knowing the conversation that awaited him when he got back to the hotel. After checking with the train crew Artie headed back to the hotel.

[Artiespet]

Jim was waiting on the hotel’s porch when Artie pulled the buggy to a stop. The expression on Jim’s face told Artie he had taken too long getting back and had worried his partner.

“Sorry I was gone so long, Jim. When I saw my shaving kit I guess I couldn’t wait to feel normal again,” Artie smiled apologetically.

“That’s okay, pal. You look more normal too,” Jim replied with a smile.

“Here, let me get the bags,” Jim said as he jumped down from the porch.

“You don’t have to, Jim, I can get them,” Artie protested.

“Nonsense, Artie…you got the bags and need I remind you that you have broken ribs and probably shouldn’t have gone in the first place? I should be mad at you for going,” Jim chided as he grabbed both bags.

“No, you needn’t remind me my ribs are broken, they’re doing a bang up job of reminding me on their own,” Artie replied, trying not to snap at his friend.

“I knew I should have argued with you more,” Jim frowned as he hefted the bags up onto the porch.

“I would have gone anyway, Jim. It’s just a bumpy ride that’s all. Let’s have the clerk get the buggy back to the livery and we can go eat, I’m sure you waited,” Artie grinned.

“Yeah, pal, I waited and man am I hungry!” Artie glanced down the street and saw the coach still there.

“You want to shave first, Jim?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to go to supper looking like this,” Jim chuckled, “Even though I can’t date the ladies I can still impress them,” Artie grinned and rolled his eyes.

While Jim changed clothes and shaved, Artie stood at the window watching the activities down on the street below. He pulled up straight and leaned against the window. Voltaire! So it IS Loveless in that coach. He must be keeping an eye on us, waiting for us to make a mistake so he can nab us again.

“Hey, Jim? Guess what I just saw?”

“What’s that pal?” Jim asked as he rinsed his newly shaven face.

“Voltaire just handed a bundle of packages through the window of that coach. You know what that means don’t you?”

“So it is Loveless,” Jim replied as he continued to dress, “Jeremy’s at the hotel across the street, why don’t we to try that restaurant for supper?” Jim suggested.

“Good idea! Maybe we can at least watch them bring the little man down.”

“If I have my way we’ll get to do more than just watch.”

“James, what are you plotting? You know we’re not allowed anywhere near this.”

“I think I can persuade Jeremy. Come on, pal, let’s go eat then see Jeremy.”

They left their hotel and headed across the street, Artie stole a look at the coach and smiled when he saw the drape being flung across the window. They entered the hotel and headed for the restaurant, Artie secretly thanking their lucky star that they were never alone on the seemingly always busy street. After a casual supper in which Jim told Artie his plan, they headed up to
Jeremy’s room. Jim knocked on the door. The sight that greeted them caused Artie to break out laughing and it was all Jim could do to hold back his own giggles.

“Jeremy, you look positively silly,” Artie laughed as Jeremy ushered them into the room.

“I thought I’d try a disguise you might not recognize,” Jeremy said sheepishly.

“Oh, if we had met on the street I might not have, but Jim sure as heck might have requested a date,” Jim and Artie laughed, Artie clutching his side.

“Don’t laugh too hard, Artemus, you might rupture something…not that it would hurt anything vital,” Jeremy grinned evilly.

“I’m sorry, Jeremy…but it’s so hard to take you seriously when you’re dressed like Jeremy but your face just screams Jennifer. Don’t tell me you were really going through with this?” Artie was enjoying Jeremy’s discomfort.

“He sure was, Artie…check this out,” Jim held up a lilac colored floral print dress complete with petticoats.

“Oh, this is too much,” Artie cried as he sank into the nearest chair holding his ribs.

“Cut it out guys. I’m just trying to do my job,” Jeremy yelled good-naturedly.

“You’re right, Jeremy. Uh…can you remove that make up I can’t focus,” Jim grinned.

“Yeah, I guess it’s a moot point now,” Jeremy sat on the bed and began to remove the wig and makeup.

“Why ARE you here, James?”

“I have a proposition to make.”

“You mean WE, Jim, I’m just as much a part of this as you are.”

“I don’t think I’m going to like this but go on…I’m listening.”

“Suppose Artie and I knew where Loveless was…IF we told you would we be allowed to be there when the agents apprehend him?”

“What? Jim if you know where he is you have to tell us!”

“That’s not what I said. Can you assure us we can be there when you take him down? If not, we’ll give our lead to the sheriff…” Jim said slyly.

“Jim, you can’t do that! They don’t know Loveless like we do. He’d get away from them before they got the cuffs on him.”

“Maybe. So do we have a deal or not?”

“Jim, I don’t have the authority to accept or decline your proposition.”

“You’re the agent in charge. Suppose we give you the information and there isn’t time to contact the Colonel. You call in the sheriff and a few of his deputies, we go get Loveless then you can take it from there.”

“And you and Artemus would just stand by and watch…no intervening…no matter what goes down? And if things start to go wrong you won’t help?”

“Cross our hearts, Jeremy. If Loveless catches you on fire we won’t even throw snow on you,” Artie replied with a grin.

“If I go down for this…”

“We worked that out too. You got this tip from an anonymous source. We just heard the commotion and came to see what it was about.”

“Come on, Jeremy. You know how important this is…you’ve got to let us be there,” Artie pled their case.

“All right, against my better judgment you can be there but you’d better stay well back.”

“Jim will…” Artie began.

“Artemus!” Jeremy started to argue.

“Just listen, Jeremy. You need a way to get into that coach and I can provide you with one. And before you say a word just hear me out.”

“So it is Loveless in that coach.”

“Yes, it is. Or at least we are fairly certain it is.”

“We’re going to give Loveless what he wants,” Artie told him, holding up a hand to stop the obvious protest.

“All I am going to do is take a stroll down the sidewalk. Loveless knows I’m not in the best of shape so he’s not going to pass up a chance to nab me when I’m alone,” Artie explained.

“It’s too risky, Artemus. So many things could go wrong.”

“Not if you, Jim and the sheriff and his men are already in the area waiting.”

“I’m not fond of his plan myself but it’s a good one, Jeremy. We can be right there at the Mercantile…as soon as the coach door opens Artie can jump back and let you take over.”

“I don’t know…” Jeremy thought it over.

“You know how badly we want to see Loveless go down. And if Richmond won’t let us take him down then at least let us be there to watch you do it. We would do the same for you,” Artie told him.

“You really know how to play hardball, don’t you, Artemus?”

“When it works, you bet your face powder I do,” Artie smirked.

“All right…but Artemus…if you try to help in any other way I swear…”

“Trust me, I don’t want to mess this up. This is our one chance to nail Loveless to the wall and I want everything to go down without a hitch.”

After finalizing their plans Jeremy left to find the Sheriff and Jim left to take his place in the Mercantile, sneaking in through the back door. Artie paused at the newsstand just inside the hotel to buy a paper. After he was sure he had given everyone enough time to get into place, he glanced out the door. He saw Jeremy enter the Mercantile and noted several deputies ‘making’ their nightly rounds.

Artie left the hotel, tucked the paper under his arm and worked his way across the street, noting that the deputies had slowed their progress to allow him time to reach the coach. As he approached the coach Artie began to get nervous. I know there are plenty of men on the street I just don’t trust Loveless, Artie thought. When he was within earshot he started mumbling.

“That Mercantile had some very fine port in stock, I hope they still have some. And I really hope I can sneak it past Jim,” Artie muttered as he bumped into the side of the coach.

“It would seem to me, Mr. Gordon, that you have already had more than your fair share of port,” The drape was pulled back from the window and a gun was pointed at Artie.

“Well, hello there, Dr. Loveless, fancy meeting you here!” Artie beamed.

“Damn, how do we get to Artie?” Jim whispered to Jeremy as he turned away from the window to keep Loveless from spotting him.

“I KNEW this was a bad idea!” Jeremy replied, looking out the store window and seeing Voltaire come up behind Artemus.

“Mr. Gordon, if you would be so kind as to step inside my coach, Voltaire won’t have to hurt what I am certain are your still injured ribs,” Loveless motioned with the gun.

Artie took a step backward and bumped into Voltaire. He reached back with his hand and felt the mountain behind him. He rolled his eyes and grimaced. Boy are Jim and I gonna get it now! Artie sighed and opened the coach door. He quickly glanced around, looking to see how far away help was. He saw the deputies running and, thinking quickly, he stepped on the running board and allowed his foot to slip off, causing him to pitch forward into the floor of the coach. He grunted when his ribs came in contact with the coach.

Sucking in his breath between clenched teeth he lunged for the gun and stripped it from Loveless’ hand. He barely heard the swearing coming from the Mercantile, and he was fairly certain it came from his partner, as he twisted around and leveled the gun at Loveless.

Behind him Jim and Jeremy ran out of the store and Jeremy vaulted over the railing and onto Voltaire’s back. Jim ran down the stairs and tackled his legs. The deputies arrived and tried to hold Voltaire still so they could cuff him. Voltaire shook his way loose and pulled himself up and began swinging. Jim and Jeremy knew to duck but the deputy nearest Voltaire didn’t and when his fist connected with the deputy’s jaw the man fell backward over the railing and into the rear wheel of the coach, shattering several of the spokes.

“Jim, get out of here!” Jeremy shouted as he landed several blows to Voltaire’s kidneys.

“I’m gonna get Artie,” Jim yelled, running around to the other side of the coach and ripping open the door.

“Hi ya, Jim!” Artie grinned, the pistol still trained on a now very irritated Dr. Loveless.

“You okay, pal?” Jim asked concerned.

“I’ll be fine once we get this little package delivered to the local constabulary.”

“I’ll help you with that, Artie,” Jim said as he reached into the coach and grabbed Loveless by his lapels.

“No need for me to hog all the fun, James. You do have Voltaire in custody I presume?”

“You presume correctly, partner. The sheriff is putting the cuffs on him now. So Dr. Loveless, I’d suggest you come along quietly,” Jim glared at him.

“I know when I’ve been beaten, Mr. West. Of course I’ll go peacefully.”

“Dr. Loveless you never do anything peacefully, if you’re going quietly it’s with a few tricks up your dirty little sleeve,” Jim retorted.

“No doubt, James. We couldn’t expect any less from our friend now could we.”

Jeremy appeared behind Jim and leaned over his shoulder to take Loveless from him. Artie thought he saw angry glances pass between them. Jeremy took Loveless and put him under his arm like a sack of potatoes, causing Loveless to shriek like a banshee, Jim just laughed.

“Well, doctor, hand cuffs won’t fit you and I’m not going to give you a chance to slip away,” Jeremy told him, Jim stood watching and trying to stifle his giggles.

“Uh…James, if you’re done getting your jollies for the day could you give me a hand…if it’s no trouble that is,” Artie commented with a smile.

“What? Oh sure, pal,” Jim ran around the coach to assist his friend.

“So how much trouble do you think we’ll be in this time?” Artie asked as he winced when Jim pulled him to a sitting position.

“No more than usual, I’d say. It all depends on you.”

“Me? Why me?”

“You hurt your ribs again didn’t you? That was a foolhardy chance you took, Artie,” Jim said sternly.

“I’m all right, Jim it only hurts a little.”

“Then in that case, let’s get you to a doctor and hope we only get into a ‘little’ trouble,” Jim smiled as he helped Artie.

Jim, Artie and Jeremy sat quietly in front of Colonel Richmond’s desk, waiting for him to look up from the report on his desk. Jeremy knew why he was here…he could only guess why the Colonel had asked James and Artemus to be present. He looked at Jim out of the corner of his eye and saw him sitting rigidly.

When he glanced at Artie he could see him fidgeting and he was breathing in short, shallow breaths and it was obvious, to Jeremy at least, that he was desperately trying to appear normal.

After what seemed like an eternity, Richmond looked up from the file, staring in turn at each agent seated before him, then his gaze centered again on Jeremy, the glare obvious even to a blind man.

“Very interesting report, Mr. Pike, Very nicely prepared…” the agent remained silent.

“Too bad it’s not complete,” Richmond glared.

“Not complete? I don’t understand, sir.”

“You seem to have left out a few details.”

“I’m pretty sure I included all relevant information, Colonel,” Jeremy tried not to fidget in his chair.

“Did you now. As I’m sure you’ve noticed I invited Mr. West and Mr. Gordon to this meeting. Why do you think that is, MISTER Pike?”

“I have no idea, sir,” Jeremy swallowed hard.

“All right, if that’s how you want to play this, Mr. Pike so be it. You can sink right along with your cohorts in crime.”

“Yes, sir,” Jeremy replied.

“Sir, in Jeremy’s defense, this wasn’t his idea…” Artie began only to be cut off.

“Mr. Gordon make no mistake I will get to you soon enough. Mr. Pike is fully capable of speaking on his own behalf should he chose to do so.”

“Yes, sir,” Artie replied softly.

“Now, Mr. Pike are you going to tell me why you chose to omit certain bits of information from your report?”

“I included all the information I felt was relevant, sir. I…uh…didn’t put in the details about James and Artemus’ involvement as it was merely a coincidence.”

“Agents West and Gordon just happening to be in the vicinity when you took Loveless down…Agents West and Gordon just happening to help, against my orders not to mention the President’s…Agent West being in on the fray…Agent Gordon nearly being abducted…you call those coincidences?”

“Sir, we needed to apprehend Dr. Loveless at any cost. Information was given to me by…”

“By a so called informant. Which of your fellow agents was this informant?”

“Both of them, sir.”

“As I suspected. Mr. Pike you were aware, were you not, that these men are on medical leave and were ordered off the case,” Richmond stated more than asked.

“Yes, sir.”

“And yet you chose to involve them in a case that had already very nearly taken their lives. Why is that?”

“They can be rather persuasive when they feel the situation warrants…that is no excuse, sir, I know that. It is, however, the only defense I can offer. We have been chasing Loveless for more years than I care to remember, sir. I saw an opportunity to finally get our hands on him and as my training taught me I seized the opportunity.”

“Even at the risk of your fellow agents lives?”

“Yes, sir. We discussed every contingency and we planned for it so, yes, sir I gave the okay.”

“Colonel, I’m sure you understand the need for James and Artemus to be there when he was taken down. Yes, I agree I was derelict in my duties when I allowed them to be there. Yes, I was wrong when I involved them in the case against direct orders. But, sir, being in their shoes I would have wanted the same thing and I would have expected no less.”

“I see,” Richmond contemplated his desk for sever long moments before speaking to the agents again.

“Mr. Pike…” Jeremy sat up straight.

“Yes, sir.”

“You will re write this report and this time you will include the escapades of your fellow agents along with any personal comments you may wish to make. You will then consider yourself suspended for three days.”

“Yes, sir,” Jeremy rose and breathed a sigh of relief as he left the office.

“That just leaves you two gentlemen,” Richmond glared, “What do you think would be a suitable punishment for two agents who repeatedly disobey direct orders from the President, no less?”

“Colonel, sir, I take full responsibility for what happened. I let my desire to see Loveless behind bars cloud my judgment. I will accept whatever punishment you deem appropriate,” Artie said stiffly.

“Mr. West do you concur with your partner’s assessment?”

“No, sir, I do not. I am just as much at fault as my partner if not more so.”

“Jim, what are you doing? Shut up!” Artie whispered out of the corner of his mouth, Richmond tried not to let the smile in his eyes reach his lips.

“Very well, then. You gentlemen leave me no choice but to add an additional two weeks to the punishment you were already given,” he paused to let his words sink in.

“This time I strongly suggest you do not deviate from your orders.”

“Yes, sir…uh no, sir,” Jim and Artie replied together.

“And gentlemen, I have been in contact with the President and needless to say he was less than thrilled with your disobedience. He has requested the pleasure of your company in Washington D.C. as soon as you can get there.”

“I have already contacted the train, it will be ready to leave as soon as you are.”

“Sir?” Jim questioned.

“Yes, Mr. West?”

“I know we’ve been order off the case but will it be possible to get word on Loveless’ trial?”

“Oh, you’ll be there for the trial. Once Mr. Pike has served his suspension… he will be placed in charge of you two for the remainder of the trip to Washington. Please see to it that you stay out of trouble.”

“Yes, sir, we will, sir,” Jim replied.

“Artemus, might I strongly suggest you spend as much time in your room and or resting as possible. I’ll not tell Grant about your latest injury provided you do so. He has told me he will have you both looked at when you reach Washington and I’m sure you want those ribs to be properly healed.”

“Sir, I can guarantee my partner won’t set foot out of his room or off the settee unless absolutely necessary or I’ll shoot him myself.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come that, Mr. West,” Richmond said sternly, failing to completely hide the smile this time.

“I’ll stay in my room as much as possible, sir. I know I really screwed up this time and I really am sorry,” Artie spoke softly.

“WE are really sorry,” Jim added.

“We’ve got to do this one by the book, gentlemen…not one single slip or mistake. I think President Grant wants to see Loveless behind bars permanently as much as you two do.”

“Yes, sir, come on, Artie, we’ve got a train to catch,” Jim grabbed his partner and headed for the door.

“Gentlemen, I will not tolerate any further deviation from your orders. The trial will be held in Washington and the job of transporting Loveless will be in capable hands. When it is time for your testimony you will be notified.”

“So we’ll be stationed in Washington until the trial then?” Artie asked.

“Oh I forgot to mention that little bit of information. Once you arrive in Washington you will be assigned to the President until Loveless’ trial has concluded.”

“That could take months!” Jim commented.

“The President thinks it could even take as long as a year…”

“You have your orders, gentlemen. I suggest you not keep the President waiting.”

“Yes, sir, come on James, let’s get going.”

“Artemus?” Richmond’s voice softened.

“Yes, sir?”

“Get your ribs checked one more time before you leave town, it’s liable to be a bumpy ride back to Washington.”

“Yes, sir, he’ll do that right now,” Jim said as they left. Once they had left the building Artie turned to his partner.

“So, James, what kind of trouble do you think we can find between here and Washington?” Artie grinned at his partner.

“I don’t know, Artemus. But what do you say we go find out?” Jim grinned back.

EPILOG

The prison guards kept their eyes on the road ahead. Transporting prisoners was nothing; they did it all the time. This case, however, was a special one. The guards were used to making trips to and from the Territorial Prison…but transporting a prisoner all the way to Washington D.C. was unheard of. And being escorted by an entire platoon of soldiers was unprecedented.

“I don’t know who these two are we’re totin all the way to Washington, Bill, but them two musta done somethin bad,” one guard commented.

“I heard some of them soldier boys talkin and said he tried ta poison some people.”

“So why we gotta take em all the way to Washington D. C. why not jest have the trial right here? Ain’t that a waste a time?”

“Might could be. I heard one of em tried ta hurt some friends of President Grant’s.”

“Whew! Then maybe we should drive this wagon slower…give them guys in the back a chance ta breath the last fresh air they’ll be breathin for a long time.”

In the back of the prison wagon Voltaire sat hunched over staring at the floor of the wagon. On the bench facing him sat Loveless, wrists and feet tightly bound with rope; telling Voltaire all would be well and he began to sing…

The End?