Post by madhaberdasher on Mar 5, 2012 8:54:55 GMT -8
Author's Note: Just a humerous little drabble that I put together over the weekend. Enjoy!
A Night on The Town
Artie took a satisfied sip of his beer.
"Another day, another crisis averted and American can once again sleep in peace," Jim smiled.
"I'll drink to that."
The clink of glasses mingled with their laughter.
“Say,” Jim said, “did that blonde just wink at me?”
Artie glanced around at the myriad of blondes in the bar. “Which one?”
“That one, sitting alone at the table in the corner.”
Once given direction, Artie quickly picked the woman Jim was talking about out of the crowed. She was idly playing with a strand of her hair and sipping her drink delicately.
He turned back to Jim. “I don’t think so.”
“Why not, Artie?”
“Because she’s got trouble written all over her, James.”
Jim folded his arms and sat back in his chair. “Really? And that means that she couldn’t have possibly winked at me?”
“Yes.”
He stood, taking a sip of his beer and patted Artie on the back. “I think I’ll take a chance.”
The blonde’s table was close enough for Artie to hear what Jim was saying.
“Excuse me miss, but I couldn’t help noticing that you’re all alone.”
She looked up at Jim and fluttered her eyelashes.
“Do you mind if I join you, Miss—”
“Marsha Delmont,” she purred, “and I don’t mind at all, Mr.—”
“My name is James West, Miss Delmont. Would you like another drink, yours appears to be running out,” he didn’t wait for an answer and there was soon another small sherry sitting in front of Miss Delmont. “So,” Jim started, “What brings a nice girl like you to a place like this?”
Artie fought the urge roll his eyes and groan. Miss Delmont, however, didn’t seem to mind James’ clichéd comments. Quite the opposite, in fact, she appeared to be enjoying them immensely.
Just as Artie was about to pull James away from Miss Delmont—for James’ sake as well as his stomach’s—the swinging double doors burst open. The largest man that Artemus Gordon had ever seen, barring Voltaire, walked through the doors and walked right over to Miss Delmont and Jim.
“What’re you doing with ma’ woman,” the hulk growled. When he didn’t receive an answer from Jim, he turned to Miss Delmont. “What’re you doin’ with another man?”
“Oh, Tiny,” she wailed, attracting the attention of everyone in the bar who wasn’t already staring. “Tiny, we were just being sociable. This kind man saw that I was alone and didn’t want me to be taken advantage of and—”
“Tiny” pushed her aside and picked a rather stunned Jim up by the lapels. “I asked you what you were doin’ with ma’ woman. I ‘spect an answer.”
“If, uh, you’ll put me down, uh, Tiny, I’ll be more than happy to tell you exactly what was happening.”
Artie was stunned. Usually Jim would try and fight his way out of things.
The moment Jim’s feet hit the floor, he started swinging. It seemed, for a moment, that his plan was effective. Then Tiny made his move. He took Jim by the shoulders and pitched the slight young man out of the swinging double doors.
It was all Artie could do to keep from laughing as a rather worse for wear James West reentered the saloon. He was covered in dust from head to toe and looked dazed.
Jim walked up to Tiny and opened his mouth slightly, raising his index finger. “I’ll stay away from your girl.” He slouched back over to Artie’s table, glancing around at the other saloon patrons.
“Now, James, didn’t I tell you,” Artie commented, trying to hide his smile.
The responding look from Jim could have frozen Artie’s beer.
“Oh, that was horrible!” came a high-pitched whine from behind Jim. Both he and Artie turned to see another beautiful blonde. “I can’t imagine why Tiny overreacted so!”
Artie quickly slapped payment for the drinks onto the table and took Jim by the arm. He pulled him slowly out of the saloon and into the street.
“What was that all about? She was—”
“Exactly,” Artie shook his head. “She was trouble!”
A Night on The Town
Artie took a satisfied sip of his beer.
"Another day, another crisis averted and American can once again sleep in peace," Jim smiled.
"I'll drink to that."
The clink of glasses mingled with their laughter.
“Say,” Jim said, “did that blonde just wink at me?”
Artie glanced around at the myriad of blondes in the bar. “Which one?”
“That one, sitting alone at the table in the corner.”
Once given direction, Artie quickly picked the woman Jim was talking about out of the crowed. She was idly playing with a strand of her hair and sipping her drink delicately.
He turned back to Jim. “I don’t think so.”
“Why not, Artie?”
“Because she’s got trouble written all over her, James.”
Jim folded his arms and sat back in his chair. “Really? And that means that she couldn’t have possibly winked at me?”
“Yes.”
He stood, taking a sip of his beer and patted Artie on the back. “I think I’ll take a chance.”
The blonde’s table was close enough for Artie to hear what Jim was saying.
“Excuse me miss, but I couldn’t help noticing that you’re all alone.”
She looked up at Jim and fluttered her eyelashes.
“Do you mind if I join you, Miss—”
“Marsha Delmont,” she purred, “and I don’t mind at all, Mr.—”
“My name is James West, Miss Delmont. Would you like another drink, yours appears to be running out,” he didn’t wait for an answer and there was soon another small sherry sitting in front of Miss Delmont. “So,” Jim started, “What brings a nice girl like you to a place like this?”
Artie fought the urge roll his eyes and groan. Miss Delmont, however, didn’t seem to mind James’ clichéd comments. Quite the opposite, in fact, she appeared to be enjoying them immensely.
Just as Artie was about to pull James away from Miss Delmont—for James’ sake as well as his stomach’s—the swinging double doors burst open. The largest man that Artemus Gordon had ever seen, barring Voltaire, walked through the doors and walked right over to Miss Delmont and Jim.
“What’re you doing with ma’ woman,” the hulk growled. When he didn’t receive an answer from Jim, he turned to Miss Delmont. “What’re you doin’ with another man?”
“Oh, Tiny,” she wailed, attracting the attention of everyone in the bar who wasn’t already staring. “Tiny, we were just being sociable. This kind man saw that I was alone and didn’t want me to be taken advantage of and—”
“Tiny” pushed her aside and picked a rather stunned Jim up by the lapels. “I asked you what you were doin’ with ma’ woman. I ‘spect an answer.”
“If, uh, you’ll put me down, uh, Tiny, I’ll be more than happy to tell you exactly what was happening.”
Artie was stunned. Usually Jim would try and fight his way out of things.
The moment Jim’s feet hit the floor, he started swinging. It seemed, for a moment, that his plan was effective. Then Tiny made his move. He took Jim by the shoulders and pitched the slight young man out of the swinging double doors.
It was all Artie could do to keep from laughing as a rather worse for wear James West reentered the saloon. He was covered in dust from head to toe and looked dazed.
Jim walked up to Tiny and opened his mouth slightly, raising his index finger. “I’ll stay away from your girl.” He slouched back over to Artie’s table, glancing around at the other saloon patrons.
“Now, James, didn’t I tell you,” Artie commented, trying to hide his smile.
The responding look from Jim could have frozen Artie’s beer.
“Oh, that was horrible!” came a high-pitched whine from behind Jim. Both he and Artie turned to see another beautiful blonde. “I can’t imagine why Tiny overreacted so!”
Artie quickly slapped payment for the drinks onto the table and took Jim by the arm. He pulled him slowly out of the saloon and into the street.
“What was that all about? She was—”
“Exactly,” Artie shook his head. “She was trouble!”