Post by qohart on Feb 11, 2010 12:56:50 GMT -8
Our school has a mission statement and every few years we have a review by a Mission Effectiveness Team to see if we are still living up to our mission. We had one this year.
The MET is made up of the head of our Board of Directors, Alice H., and school officials or board members from other Xaverian Brothers Sponsored Schools. The team set aside some time during the day to have ‘drop in’ discussions with anyone who had something to say that had not met with them with a particular school group.
Thursay, they were booked in the conference room in the counseling center. Alice had the first session from 8:00-8:45. She wound up being there until 9:30 with one teacher taking the whole time. Another teacher and I kept checking back only to find Tony still jabbering away. This teacher finally told me he had to teach next period and had to go so I told him I would tell Alice he had been waiting.
Alice was able to give me 5 minutes so I said my piece and told her about the teacher who had been waiting. She asked me to tell him to write up his concerns or comments, seal them in an envelope addressed to her and leave it in the board room for her. I said I would and we parted company.
That’s when I realized I did not know who the teacher was. So I went to the front office to ask Maureen, our registrar and former receptionist, who he might be. Maureen knows everyone and I was sure she could tell me who he was based on a description.
I told her the teacher was very young, maybe 25, not too tall, chunky but not fat, with product in his hair making it spikey.
“That sounds like Ben C.,” she said and directed me to his classroom.
As I look in the window of the classroom I see the students are taking a test. I enter quietly and approach Ben who is at his desk hunkered down working on his computer. He looks up and I ask him in a quiet whisper:
“Are you the one who wanted to see Alice?”
His jaw drops, his eyes go wide and he answers not so quietly:
“NO! Why would I?”
“Well I wanted to…” I get no farther as a horrified look comes over his face and he backs away.
“I have to write this down,” he says and grabs his notebook which is covered with notes and scrawls in every direction and scribbles something.
What is wrong with this boy? I wonder watching.
“Is this what you’re asking me?” he holds up the notebook and I can’t distinguish what it is he scribbled.
“What does it say?” I ask.
He hunches down a bit as he leans toward me and whispers loudly, “Cialis.”
I just look at him. Cialis? Out of the corner of my eye I see the students look up and start snickering. They know what this is and I know I’ve heard this word before.
Then it hits me. CIALIS! “NO! Absolutely not!” my whisper is rather loud now. “I said: Are you the one who wanted to SEE ALICE. Alice H!”
We both just stare at each other a beat and you can almost hear the little robot from that ad saying ‘Awkward”.
“Oh. No that wasn’t me,” Ben answers and goes back to work on his computer.
“Ok, well I’m leaving now. Am I an appropriate shade of red?” I ask. He chuckles, the students snicker and I walk out.
I have to get back to the office. I turn left and walk halfway down the hall when I realize I’m going the wrong way and turn around. Based on what he thought I said, it’s no wonder the boy looked horrified and backed away from me.
Passing Maureen’s office, I stop in and tell her it wasn’t Ben C. and tell her what happened. She enjoyed my discomfort very much and we had a nice laugh. Back at my office I guess my face was still red because Cathie asked what was up so I told her. Three of the counselors heard and we all had a really good laugh.
End of story right? Wrong.
Lunchtime comes and I go into the serving area. From across the room, Madelyn, our Vice Principal calls to me.
“Is that Cris Hart that started that story?” she yells.
“What?” I ask perplexed. I’ve forgotten the incident already, it was hours ago.
“You know what story,” Madelyn waggles her eyebrows at me.
“How do you know about that!” I cry as realization hits.
“The whole school knows!” Madelyn laughs heartily and walks away from me leaving me red faced to get my lunch tray.
Now the administrators sit at the center table in the dining hall and they are all there as I am getting my napkins and utensils.
“Is that Cris Cialis over there?” calls one loudly.
“Got any extra Cialis for him?” calls another thumbing at one of the other Vice Principals.
“Shut up! Who told you?” I’m mortified and try to hide as I go to another table to eat as they are all practically falling on the floor laughing.
Madelyn walks by on her way out, chuckling and shaking her head. I ask her again, “Who told you? No, never mind. I know who told you. It was Jennifer wasn’t it?” Madelyn admits it was. I knew it. That counselor is a nose for news and spreads it everywhere. But to the Administration?! Madelyn bursts into gales of laughter at my expression and leaves.
All I heard the rest of the day was how this one was laughing so hard she was about to burst a blood vessel and that one laughed so hard they almost busted a gut and on and on.
Now don’t get me wrong. It was very funny but by the end of the day, I was glad to have it behind me.
I should have known better.
Friday morning I’m working on applications when Cathie comes into the office and tells me:
“You’re still the talk of the school. Madelyn is up front telling Art.”
Art is the President of the school. “She’s telling ART?! Don’t tell me anymore,” I shake my head and go back to work.
An hour later I go to the front office to mail out the applications and Maureen calls me over.
“I didn’t tell anyone about that,” she says sotto voce.
“Oh, I know,” I tell her, “I know who told.”
From across the room Madelyn calls to me from her office.
“Hey, Cris Hart! There’s no denying anything anymore.”
“I haven’t denied anything yet. What do you mean?” I ask.
“We have pictures!” Madelyn announces.
“Horsefeather!” I say as she motions me over. Maureen is right on my heels as is Candy from the business office.
“I heard about your incident,” Candy smirks as all three of us enter Madelyn’s office.
She hands me a printed picture. It’s a Cialis ad with a picture of the box complete with blue lettering ‘Cialis’ across one corner and a smiling couple cuddling in the foreground. My face and Ben’s face are photo shopped onto the couple. Lovely.
“And guess what?” Madelyn giggles.
“You emailed this to everyone,” I venture wryly.
“No, but that’s a good idea,” she giggles again.
“Don’t you dare!”
With a laugh she tells me, “When I told Alice and showed this to her she laughed up a riot.”
“You told Alice?” I exclaime, “Where can I hide.”
“No where. The whole MET got a real kick out of this and loved the story that goes with it,” she laughs out loud.
“The whole team knows?” I’m dying here.
“Oh, Cris,” she’s got tears coming down her face now, “you’ve made this whole Mission Effectiveness process so much easier. Everyone is in such a good mood these last two days.”
“I live to entertain,” I mutter as I leave the office.
And so went the rest of the day. Another lunch time and more greetings in the hall. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
I finally get Madelyn aside and ask her:
“I just want to know what Ben’s take is on this. I know what I’ve gotten, what about him?”
“Oh I fixed him up real good last night at the sophomore retreat,” Madelyn tells me, “Ben was cooking for the kids with his hair in one of those hair nets. I walked right up to him with Alice and said ‘Ben, see Alice.’ The boy flushed red from his toes to his hairline. He couldn’t say anything but a weak, ‘Hi’. He’ll never forget this!”
“Neither will she,” I answer.
She slaps me on the back and leaves chuckling, “We’re going to remember this for years.”
Swell.
Hopefully this will die a nice quiet death.
The MET is made up of the head of our Board of Directors, Alice H., and school officials or board members from other Xaverian Brothers Sponsored Schools. The team set aside some time during the day to have ‘drop in’ discussions with anyone who had something to say that had not met with them with a particular school group.
Thursay, they were booked in the conference room in the counseling center. Alice had the first session from 8:00-8:45. She wound up being there until 9:30 with one teacher taking the whole time. Another teacher and I kept checking back only to find Tony still jabbering away. This teacher finally told me he had to teach next period and had to go so I told him I would tell Alice he had been waiting.
Alice was able to give me 5 minutes so I said my piece and told her about the teacher who had been waiting. She asked me to tell him to write up his concerns or comments, seal them in an envelope addressed to her and leave it in the board room for her. I said I would and we parted company.
That’s when I realized I did not know who the teacher was. So I went to the front office to ask Maureen, our registrar and former receptionist, who he might be. Maureen knows everyone and I was sure she could tell me who he was based on a description.
I told her the teacher was very young, maybe 25, not too tall, chunky but not fat, with product in his hair making it spikey.
“That sounds like Ben C.,” she said and directed me to his classroom.
As I look in the window of the classroom I see the students are taking a test. I enter quietly and approach Ben who is at his desk hunkered down working on his computer. He looks up and I ask him in a quiet whisper:
“Are you the one who wanted to see Alice?”
His jaw drops, his eyes go wide and he answers not so quietly:
“NO! Why would I?”
“Well I wanted to…” I get no farther as a horrified look comes over his face and he backs away.
“I have to write this down,” he says and grabs his notebook which is covered with notes and scrawls in every direction and scribbles something.
What is wrong with this boy? I wonder watching.
“Is this what you’re asking me?” he holds up the notebook and I can’t distinguish what it is he scribbled.
“What does it say?” I ask.
He hunches down a bit as he leans toward me and whispers loudly, “Cialis.”
I just look at him. Cialis? Out of the corner of my eye I see the students look up and start snickering. They know what this is and I know I’ve heard this word before.
Then it hits me. CIALIS! “NO! Absolutely not!” my whisper is rather loud now. “I said: Are you the one who wanted to SEE ALICE. Alice H!”
We both just stare at each other a beat and you can almost hear the little robot from that ad saying ‘Awkward”.
“Oh. No that wasn’t me,” Ben answers and goes back to work on his computer.
“Ok, well I’m leaving now. Am I an appropriate shade of red?” I ask. He chuckles, the students snicker and I walk out.
I have to get back to the office. I turn left and walk halfway down the hall when I realize I’m going the wrong way and turn around. Based on what he thought I said, it’s no wonder the boy looked horrified and backed away from me.
Passing Maureen’s office, I stop in and tell her it wasn’t Ben C. and tell her what happened. She enjoyed my discomfort very much and we had a nice laugh. Back at my office I guess my face was still red because Cathie asked what was up so I told her. Three of the counselors heard and we all had a really good laugh.
End of story right? Wrong.
Lunchtime comes and I go into the serving area. From across the room, Madelyn, our Vice Principal calls to me.
“Is that Cris Hart that started that story?” she yells.
“What?” I ask perplexed. I’ve forgotten the incident already, it was hours ago.
“You know what story,” Madelyn waggles her eyebrows at me.
“How do you know about that!” I cry as realization hits.
“The whole school knows!” Madelyn laughs heartily and walks away from me leaving me red faced to get my lunch tray.
Now the administrators sit at the center table in the dining hall and they are all there as I am getting my napkins and utensils.
“Is that Cris Cialis over there?” calls one loudly.
“Got any extra Cialis for him?” calls another thumbing at one of the other Vice Principals.
“Shut up! Who told you?” I’m mortified and try to hide as I go to another table to eat as they are all practically falling on the floor laughing.
Madelyn walks by on her way out, chuckling and shaking her head. I ask her again, “Who told you? No, never mind. I know who told you. It was Jennifer wasn’t it?” Madelyn admits it was. I knew it. That counselor is a nose for news and spreads it everywhere. But to the Administration?! Madelyn bursts into gales of laughter at my expression and leaves.
All I heard the rest of the day was how this one was laughing so hard she was about to burst a blood vessel and that one laughed so hard they almost busted a gut and on and on.
Now don’t get me wrong. It was very funny but by the end of the day, I was glad to have it behind me.
I should have known better.
Friday morning I’m working on applications when Cathie comes into the office and tells me:
“You’re still the talk of the school. Madelyn is up front telling Art.”
Art is the President of the school. “She’s telling ART?! Don’t tell me anymore,” I shake my head and go back to work.
An hour later I go to the front office to mail out the applications and Maureen calls me over.
“I didn’t tell anyone about that,” she says sotto voce.
“Oh, I know,” I tell her, “I know who told.”
From across the room Madelyn calls to me from her office.
“Hey, Cris Hart! There’s no denying anything anymore.”
“I haven’t denied anything yet. What do you mean?” I ask.
“We have pictures!” Madelyn announces.
“Horsefeather!” I say as she motions me over. Maureen is right on my heels as is Candy from the business office.
“I heard about your incident,” Candy smirks as all three of us enter Madelyn’s office.
She hands me a printed picture. It’s a Cialis ad with a picture of the box complete with blue lettering ‘Cialis’ across one corner and a smiling couple cuddling in the foreground. My face and Ben’s face are photo shopped onto the couple. Lovely.
“And guess what?” Madelyn giggles.
“You emailed this to everyone,” I venture wryly.
“No, but that’s a good idea,” she giggles again.
“Don’t you dare!”
With a laugh she tells me, “When I told Alice and showed this to her she laughed up a riot.”
“You told Alice?” I exclaime, “Where can I hide.”
“No where. The whole MET got a real kick out of this and loved the story that goes with it,” she laughs out loud.
“The whole team knows?” I’m dying here.
“Oh, Cris,” she’s got tears coming down her face now, “you’ve made this whole Mission Effectiveness process so much easier. Everyone is in such a good mood these last two days.”
“I live to entertain,” I mutter as I leave the office.
And so went the rest of the day. Another lunch time and more greetings in the hall. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
I finally get Madelyn aside and ask her:
“I just want to know what Ben’s take is on this. I know what I’ve gotten, what about him?”
“Oh I fixed him up real good last night at the sophomore retreat,” Madelyn tells me, “Ben was cooking for the kids with his hair in one of those hair nets. I walked right up to him with Alice and said ‘Ben, see Alice.’ The boy flushed red from his toes to his hairline. He couldn’t say anything but a weak, ‘Hi’. He’ll never forget this!”
“Neither will she,” I answer.
She slaps me on the back and leaves chuckling, “We’re going to remember this for years.”
Swell.
Hopefully this will die a nice quiet death.
